


♆ Erwin X Levi X Eren One Shots ♆

by CheshireCatLife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angel & Demon Interactions, Angel Corruption, Angst, Aromantic, Arson, Battle, Battle Couple, Battlefield, Being Lost, Best Friends, Brutal Murder, CEO, Cell Phones, Character Death, Charity Auctions, Cheating Erwin Smith, Child Murder, Christmas, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Morning, Christmas Presents, Civil War, Cleaning, Coming Out, Commander Erwin Smith, Corruption, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Death, Drama & Romance, Drama Llama, Eren Yeager Gets Into Fights, Eruriren Weekend 2017, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family, Family Drama, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fights, Final Battle, First Meetings, Fist Fights, Fluff, France (Country), French Characters, French Revolution, French-Speaking Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Gangs, Good, Good and Evil, Good versus Evil, Gore, Guns, Hair, Hair Dyeing, Hair Washing, Holding Hands, House Cleaning, Hunger Games, Hunger Games Tributes, Hunger Games-Typical Death/Violence, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Insecurity, Inspired by The Hunger Games, Invasion of Privacy, Killing, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) and Cleaning, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Masks, Mercy Killing, Military Training, Multi, Murder, Murder-Suicide, News Media, No Smut, Old Friends, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post Titan War, Post-War, Reincarnation, Revenge, Russia, Russian Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Secret Marriage, Secrets, Sexual Tension, Short, Short Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Short One Shot, Social Media, Soldier Eren Yeager, Soldier Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Spoilers, Starvation, Survival, Survival Training, Technology, Teen Angst, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Titan Eren Yeager, Titan Shifters, Titan Shifting, Titans, Training, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, Violent Thoughts, War, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-12-06 13:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 65,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11601198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireCatLife/pseuds/CheshireCatLife
Summary: ♆ Eruriren One Shots: Angst, Fluff and General Cuteness!!!Because, seriously people, we need more Eruriren.One Shots:~ The First Gang To Have  A Gay Count Of All ~ Mystic Messenger ~ Devil Inside ~ BlessureShorts:~ Revenge ~ ShortieEruriren Weekend 2017:~ Past- Until The Bombs Drop ~ Present- Only Those Who Had A Reason To Remember ~ Future- The Odds Are Never In Your Favour ♆





	1. The First Gang To Have A Gay Count Of All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the cheesy ending XD Warning, though, this contains gore, at some points quite a bit. Also, this hasn't been beta'd so forgive mistakes or some things that may not make sense: this is the longest one shot I've ever written.

Trost was a city well-known for its high crime rate, namely that of gang crimes that spread over one of the largest cities in the world. Trost, a city made of slums and skyscrapers alike, was also the residence of the Survey Corps. 

Despite being one of the smallest gangs in the entire city, they were the most influential and were yet to be tracked down by the police. The cops knew nothing more than a name and a number. Survey Corps- three members.

Personal names were unknown but in the crime ring, that was less so the case. If you hadn't heard of them it was most likely for your own safety. Knowing a name meant involvement. Some people just weren't made for the job.

The leader, Erwin Smith, was ruthless. An ex-lawyer with hundreds of people's blood on his hands but also the brains of the whole operation. Tall, muscular and fierce, he wasn't one to cross. He sorted the money, the operations and the links. If it wasn't accepted by him, it wasn't happening. 

The youngest, the brawn of the group, was Eren Jaeger. Bright blue eyes that radiated innocence and a flop of hair to make him younger than the kid he already was- his eighteenth birthday having only been the month before. His kill count was higher than Erwin's himself and he wasn't afraid to redden his hands, despite Erwin's requests for him to stay out of it. That only seemed to make him more determined.

The last and more experienced member was Levi Ackerman. Born into a gang and thirty-one years later, in the most influential gang of his home city. He was known as the soldier. His kill rate the highest of the three by thousands, his skills with a blade higher than any other human roaming the earth, a hand to hand combat skill that was almost unbeatable and unbreakable walls that made him impermeable to the words of his enemies. He was the man without emotions. 

So how had this even happened?

-

'Eren, what the f*ck did you do!' Levi spat, taking a step forward, their breath hitting. Eren hadn't seen this in years, he hadn't seen this emotion in years.

'I killed him, what the f*uck else was I supposed to do!' Eren shouted, his temper raging on. Not that it ever calmed. 

'He's your father, Eren. You just killed your own f*cking father!' Levi bellowed. Eren flinched at. His knees went weak and his head span. Levi had never shouted before. Levi was the personification of calm. What the hell had Eren done? 

'I know! He's a f*cking maniac so I killed him!' Eren didn't back down, taking a step forward, making his voice heard.

'Eren, he was the last of your family left.' Levi warned, his temper already lost. Eren was out of control, someone needed to remain calm. Levi could be pissed when Erwin returned.

'He was the reason half of them were dead in the first place!' Eren cried, tears suddenly springing from his eyes and down his cheeks. Levi's eyes widened, he had heard Eren's story, he knew this story. He never knew the story would invite a revenge plot.

'Don't you feel any remorse, Eren?' Levi whispered, that caring side seeping through the cracks in his facade. Those unbreakables walls. Eren just tended to do that...Erwin did too.

'Have I ever?' Eren sounded so frustrated. He was still young, he didn't quite understand what was going on in his head. He would regret this in a day, or maybe a few.

'Where's Erwin anyway?' Eren asked, folding his arms in a strop and leaning against his old house's living wall room, the blood travelling through the carpet and up to both of their feet.

'He's talking with the property guys.' Erwin, on the side, had become interested in property to make a little extra cash and maybe, one day, go back into the office work he had once been trapped in. But this time, as the boss. It didn't sit well with Levi but for now, Erwin was with them and the money was still flowing in. Levi accepted that Erwin would leave a while ago, just as he suspected that Eren would follow soon after.

Levi knew he wouldn't. Levi had been in this a lifetime. He would become the leader instead, he thought it was well-earned by now.

'It seems I missed quite a lot.' A gruff voice came and without warning, Erwin Smith was standing in the doorway, his arms folded and his thick eyebrows drawn together. He looked at Levi, who gave him a simple shrug, before directing all his attention onto Eren.

'What happened?' The wall of muscle moved towards Eren, looming over him like a monster. His shadow casting Eren in a veil of darkness that the few windows had once prevented. Eren shook. He was new to this. He had gotten in out of ruthlessness but he had slipped up.

No one knew what Erwin would do, this had never happened before.

'My father... he refused to pay Levi so I came and when I saw him...I just got so angry, Erwin. I'm sorry but he deserved it! That bullet in his skull isn't there without reason. You know what he did! He deserved it!' Eren complained, shaking in his boots but his defiance shone through as always. Erwin might have been impressed if it were not for one of his customers being dead on the floor.

'He was one of my customers, Eren.' Erwin stated calmly. Then, without another word, motioning for Levi to follow, he left the room. Eren ran to follow but with a brief pause, the dreaded words came out. 'You're not coming with us.'

It seemed Eren was leaving sooner than expected.

The gang was down to two.

-

'He's going to come back, you know?' Levi said, resting his head in his palm as he watched the blaring screen in the corner of the room portraying some monotonous hospital drama.

'Oh, I know. And, I'll let him. He just needs to learn a lesson, he's still only a kid.' Erwin replied, smoothly. Of course, he had a plan, when didn't he?

Erwin stood up and came to stand behind Levi, resting his hands on Levi's shoulders, rubbing gently. Levi shook the urge to push him off out of fear of the reaction of his boss. 'You seem tense, is Eren really bothering you that much?' Erwin asked, only getting a grovelling 'tch' in reply. Erwin chuckled lowly, pressing harder and Levi had to resist the urge to moan. It felt good, really good. 

'Why the hell are you giving me a massage, old man?' Levi spat after a few seconds, not quite hiding the fact that he wanted it to continue. 

'Because you looked stressed.' Erwin stated confidently but that didn't do anything for Levi. He was confused. Erwin was not a touchy person; his hands were tainted with blood, he tended to avoid touching people with them.

'Erwin.' Levi warned, wanting the full truth.

'Levi.' Erwin answered, his sentence just as short. Innocent almost, as if he didn't know the trick he was playing. That was just the manipulating bastard he was. He was always obvious in his tricks but his light words almost made you backtrack your own conceptions. But, Levi was used to it by now and didn't trust a word. Something was different in Erwin. Not quite in a bad way but it was as if he had decided something and now that his mind was set on it, he wouldn't be letting it go.

'Erwin, I'm so sorry! I know you told me not to-'

'It's fine, Eren.' Erwin cut him off. 'I was expecting you anyway. I hope you've learnt your lesson, though.' Eren nodded vigorously.

Erwin smiled that manipulative, cruel smile, the one that had drawn the other two in from the start. It was something he would always pull out when he wanted something and as time went on, Levi could tell more and more what he was about to be offered.

Yes, because offered was the word that was needed. At least, he knew that Erwin would always make it an offer rather than an order. That was how he had gotten so far as well as his 'offers' being something that no one would ever decline in their right minds.

Unless they were idiots. And, Levi knew just how many idiots they ran into.

'Eren, come over here.' He spoke softly, motioning to the chair beside Levi, who was shifting uncomfortably on the metal. This was not their usual base and the furniture was no better than what could be found in prison. But, Erwin had brought them here for a reason, just as he had brought them to other places so many times before. Whether it be a threat or an old friend trying to visit, Erwin always found another place. Levi suspected, though, that this was no longer the reason. Eren just seemed to remain as naive as ever.

Erwin released Levi from his grip and went to take a seat on the other side of the table, a shabby piece of plastic held up by four rather rusting iron legs. He was still smiling, looking like he was ready for murder.

Maybe that was it, maybe Levi was preparing to die.

'I'm gay.' Levi raised an eyebrow at Erwin because where the HELL had that come from. Eren just nodded like the small puppy he was, always following the orders of the master without a thought. He was devoted but that did seem to rob him of his own judgement.

'Me too. Now, what's your point?' Levi spat.

'I think we really are the first gang to ever have a gay count of... all.' Eren sounded impressed with himself but he had managed to draw all attention of the room. Despite his brattiness, he tended to do that often.

'You too?' Levi asked incredulously. Eren nodded, looking a bit disbelieving himself. 'God, guys, we're probably the first gang to have a f*cking gay count at all. At least open ones.' Levi couldn't actually believe it but with the speed of a wild animal, his eyes were back on Erwin. 'What was the point of this coming out session, blondie?' Levi sighed, his aura suspicious and confused.

Erwin shrugged, still smiling. 'You haven't figured out by now?' Oh, Levi had guessed but still didn't have the guts to admit it aloud, just as he hadn't for the last few months. Yes, he liked Erwin. And yes, he liked Eren too. And, he hoped that Erwin felt the same, it felt the only logical explanation.

And with that, Levi's brain seemed to think of a thousand more just to throw him off so Levi replied with the same nonchalant shrug. He would wait for Erwin to say it. Eren just looked confused at this point, he switched his gaze back and forth between the two and felt shamefully out of the loop. Whatever was going on, he was definitely being pushed to the side.

'I like you, Levi. Just as I like you, Eren.' Eren started spluttering at the words but Levi forced himself to keep his calm, trying to think through the situation logically. This was everything he had ever wanted and for the first time, he found himself actually thinking this through.

'Do you actually expect this to work, Erwin?' Levi suddenly burst out because it was the best he could come up with. It sounded defensive and maybe it was because the more unsure he sounded, the more likely he was going to get out of this pain-free. Because that was all he expected from this. Pain and a little bit of heartbreak on the side.

'Yes, I do.' Erwin sounded so sure of himself, the bastard. Levi wanted to punch him right in the pretty face. (He wouldn't dare to admit that he would also love to nurse him back to health).

'Erwin, do you realise the situation we're in?' Levi asked disbelievingly. This was exactly what he feared. He wanted this, so badly, but he knew he couldn't. They were in a gang and Erwin knew exactly that that was what he was pointing out (although, it seemed Eren hadn't quite caught up yet).

It was a well-known fact that gang members with relationships were destined to end up with a dead lover or dead themselves. Especially if they were both in the business. Flings were common but he knew Erwin was asking for much more than that.

'Yes I do, Levi, and I believe that that makes it all the better. If it were to go through, we would be there for each other, right? Don't think I'm bringing this out of nowhere, I have thought this through.' Levi wanted the words to be defensive but as per usual, they were said with a calmness that could only relay a set mind. Erwin would get it if he wanted it.

Yet, this seemed so much more complicated than that. This wasn't up to Erwin, this was up to all of them. Or more likely, Levi. Eren was bound to say yes without hesitation or thought, and that only left Levi.

He suddenly felt insecure with that fact. Would Eren and Erwin just move on without him if he were to say no? Then again, if they were going to become something anyway, why did he have any reason to say no? Erwin and Levi met eyes from across the table and suddenly, it was an intense battle of wills. One that Erwin would undoubtedly win, it was just a matter of time.

'Seriously, can someone tell me what the hell is going on?!' Eren suddenly bellowed, standing from his seat and slamming his hands down onto the table.

'As I said, I like you. And, I like Levi too.' Erwin stated, the definition of calm and composure.

'But what's that supposed to mean?!' Eren whined, his younger years showing more than ever. The reality hit Levi in the face even harder. They outnumbered Eren by years and collectively, decades. Could they really ruin the boy more than they already had? But, that was it. They'd already ruined him. They'd let him join.

They'd let the doctor's little boy kill without remorse. Even when it was killing that very same doctor.

'The bastard wants us to do some three-way shit.' Levi scowled, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. Erwin snorted.

'No exactly,' he conflicted, causing Levi to raise his eyebrows in surprise. 'It's called polyamory, what I'm out for isn't sex. No, I could get that anywhere and without such a fuss. As I said before, I like you and I want to do something about it.' Classic Erwin, always so blunt. He didn't hide his feelings, it was something the pair had always liked about him but this felt like it was taking a bit too far.

'Look, I want to give you time to think about it. I don't want to rush this, I just wanted to put it out there. I've been thinking about this for far too long and I wanted to put it on the table. You know, I'd never ask if I was unsure. I have my doubts but I'm always willing to take risks and I think this one will be worth it. Even under the possibility that it might be short lived.' Levi nodded and Eren looked as if he was about to say yes immediately but after a glare worthy of death coming from the petite, raven-haired man next to him, he kept quiet and nodded too.

'Good, now that's all cleared up, let's get back to business.'

-

The next mission was awkward to be light about it. Erwin and Eren seemed perfectly fine and despite Eren running after Erwin like they were attached by a rope, Levi looked a right mess. This whole ordeal had kept him up most nights and with the added insomnia, it was as if sleep wasn't necessary to stay alive. He had slept about two hours in the last three days and he wasn't in top form.

And that was how he ended up with a bullet in his side.

The panic soon turned to sheer dread. The man with the gun in his hand's brain was now splattered on the wall, courtesy of Erwin's own gun but that didn't seem to help. The pain in his shoulder was indescribable. The bullet was lodged inside and the sound of his flesh ripping apart was enough to make him gag.

He had been shot before, sure, but this was the first time it had ever dug so deep. Levi was usually so aware that any injuries he may have had before were no more than grazes and a little blood. This was not just a little blood, this was a waterfall of crimson.

Levi clutched at his right shoulder, the blood seeping through his pale fingers, staining the fingers a light rouge that might have been a nice colour if it were not surrounded by the deep red liquid that was draining him of life.

Eren was soon by his side and with a struggle, brought Levi into his arms. Levi was about to say he was overreacting until the black spots filled his sight and he struggled to see at all. He breathed deep breaths but it did nothing. The pain was excruciating and the blood kept pumping out.

Levi had always been known as a clean freak and despite seeing his fair share of blood, he hated the look of it staining the carpet. Not that it was his own (that fact comforted him only a little) but he was almost ready to request that they not take him back to the base due to fear of staining the furniture. The very, very expensive furniture.

The only that stopped him was the pain. The pain that soon kept him from consciousness.

-

Levi woke up in darkness and he found himself wondering whether this was a dream, death or just a very dark room. He was disorientated and feeling around, he couldn't feel much. With another few blinks, he realised that he was, in fact, in the world of the living and he was reaching out into space. With a worried look around the dark room, he found it empty. He let out a relieved sigh and hid his embarrassment at groping the air and tries to figure out where he was again.

With the moonlight shining through the large window being his only light source, he couldn't see much but from the design of the window, he could tell that they were definitely at ONE of the bases. The design was too ornate to be somewhere else.

The light suddenly flickered on and Levi winced at the harsh rays coming from the chandelier above him. He wasn't all too prepared when he heard a screech and the heavy stomps of someone's feet sprinting to him. Soon enough, he had a pair of arms around him and tears spilling on his shirt. 'You're awake! You're awake!' Eren chanted.

'Calm down, brat. I get injured all the time, it's no big deal.' He shoved him off but found himself wincing. Looking down to his shoulder, Levi found himself without a shirt and a large bandage skilfully twisted around his shoulder and torso.

'You were lucky Hanji was on call, she fixed you up pretty quick but I would like to correct you in saying, it was a pretty big deal. The bullet had been at just the right angle, it actually came close to your heart and only minimally punctured one of your arteries which was all that really kept you alive. If it had gone through both sides, you would have been a goner.' Levi's eyes flew open and Erwin's statement and couldn't help but thank God, despite his rather obvious hate of anything religious, for being alive at all.

'I'm glad you're alright. I'm sure I can speak on behalf of both me and Eren in saying that we were worried to death.' Eren nodded hastily in agreement and Levi let himself have some joy in that. 'But I also want to apologise. I put that offer on the table just before a mission and, don't interrupt,' he raised a finger to silence Levi, 'I know that that was keeping you up at nights and you weren't in your right mind. I should have delayed the operation or left you out. I'm sorry.' Levi accepted the apology immediately, slightly annoyed at how Erwin could always see right through him.

'It's fine, it's my fault. I'm overthinking this whole thing.' Levi sighed, looking up at the ceiling as if it were to help him somehow. 'But I have my answer.' Two eyes were on him in an instant, leaving him open and vulnerable but Levi, for once, didn't mind. He knew he was safe with these two. They were the ones he trusted most. They were his partners...and now, maybe, they were something more.

'I want to try this.' The pair smiled down at him, both reluctant to embrace him due to his injury but showing it enough in their faces for Levi to understand. 'But you two better not be brats.'

-

'Levi! Levi!' A voice shouted in the terminal. The plane must have just landed and no doubt that was Eren screaming his lungs off. Eren was returning from his trip to Germany, Erwin following alongside him for emotional support in the endeavour. He had gone to attend his father's funeral and despite having very little feelings for the man, the boy had still lost his father and that couldn't just be cast aside.

Levi hadn't come, mostly out of his own hatred for the man as well as having the two pester him about rest. His shoulder still ached but it had been a few weeks now and it was beginning to heal. Soon enough, he would be able to hold a gun again.

Levi didn't answer the boy as he came rushing up to him but he did make sure to push himself off the pillar he was leaning on and let himself be brought into an embrace, letting Eren squeeze him a little too tight despite causing his shoulder some major pain.

Erwin leant down and gave Levi a gentle kiss on the cheek, something Levi was still becoming accustomed to. They had agreed not to show themselves off in public but it was evident enough that no gang warfare was going to go on in the airport terminal and if a few sneaky spies spot them, they would soon be found with a bullet in their skull.

Erwin was good at controlling rumours (even if they were true).

'I missed you.' He spoke gently, cupping Levi's cheek in one of his hands. He leant in and Levi allowed him one small kiss on the lips before diverting his attention to Eren who look a little impatient waiting.

Levi only had to raise an eyebrow for Eren to give him an eager nod and soon enough, Levi's lips were on his. The kiss was light and quick but enough to satisfy them both. No more than a small welcome home. Levi smiled. He had allowed the others the pleasure in seeing it after minutes of begging from both of them (not that Erwin ever begged, persuade might have been a better term on his side).

He agreed to give it to them and only them and he felt secure enough behind both of their towering figures that no one could see him. Even if the fact that Eren was now quite a bit taller than him was annoying. Stupid kid.

'I think it's about time we head home, we have a lot to do.' Erwin spoke, the usual authority back in his voice. The other pair nodded and let themselves be led by the Commander out to Levi's car. Despite being Levi's car, Erwin drove it and let Eren and Levi talk in hushed tones in the back seat for the better part of an hour on their journey home.

When they returned, they all rushed out, quickly making their way up to the penthouse. Each and every one of them had smiles on their faces and they all knew, despite the cards they had been handed, they could have at least a glimmer of happiness.

Because they had each other. Even if a single gunshot could end that at any moment. That didn't change a thing. If anything, it made them closer. The inevitable end made the present all the more worth living.

They were in love. That was all they needed.


	2. Mystic Messenger

Eren didn't realise when he bought the app just what it entailed. How he had found it at all was a mystery. The app name didn't suggest much, simply being: Messenger For SC. He was hoping that stood for Snapchat and finally he had found an app he could use on his terrible phone in place of the world-known app. He was still questioning whether spending so little money was worth sacrificing all his communication but texting but at least he hadn't been stripped of that.

The app downloaded quickly and after filtering through hundreds of menus just to find the damn thing, he clicked on it and waited for it to load up. The first page was what he expected. It opened up, the letters SC in large letters across the small screen, and then, a voice came in. 'Welcome to the Survey Corps chat room. Please enter your ID.' The voice was loud and boisterous but it was clearly a girl speaking. She sounded excited despite being recorded for anyone to hear and this whole thing didn't seem all that great. So far, it didn't seem like it was much to do with Snapchat. But, Eren continued on, more out of curiosity than anything else. Still confused as to the function of the app, he put in his Snapchat username- which he had made on his old, much better phone that he had to sell to pay off some of his loans. He clicked okay and watched as the screen changed, the entire screen fading to white and the name Jaegerbomb appearing on the screen in bold letters. He was almost regretting choosing that name now.

Like before, the woman began to speak again. 'Hi, you! Welcome to the new Survey Corps app...or Recon Corp...or Scouting Legion...or Scouting Regiment. Forget that, the name is unimportant. After the...incident with the last app, I made this much better, improved version! All people who have logged in will go straight into your contacts, you all know each other anyway!' Eren paused for a second, blinking a few times as he set his mind straight. Knew who? The realisation dawned on him that maybe he wasn't supposed to be on this app. Nevertheless, he continued. 'Enjoy!'

With that, the app finally opened, revealing a dark loading screen with a few too many options. Eren, unsure of what to do, just began to click on everything.

Firstly, he clicked on the blank box in the top right corner of his screen. Upon opening, he found it to be his profile. Despite his wariness, he put in his details anyway. It was only fair, it seemed everyone else had. But, then again, they were all supposed to know each other. He put in one of his more modest selfies as well as Eren in the name box, not putting his last name despite it probably being evident by his username which appeared underneath it. He read the small information screen with squinted eyes, hoping the light wasn't going to blind him. Midnight was far too late to be doing this.

SC registration date: 03.08.17 (0 days).

Name: Eren

Username: Jaegerbomb

Contacts: Petra, Mike, Levi, Hanji, Erwin

Despite being short, it gave Eren more information than he had ever intended. His curiosity peaked as he read the names. With that, he went back to the menu and scanned the faces lining the top of the screen. On the far left was an angry looking guy, pale skin and dark hair. The bags under his eyes looked prominent yet Eren couldn't find himself but being attracted to the mysterious character in the corner. Upon clicking, he found that it was Levi. The information wasn't as in depth as his own profile but it gave him a picture, name, background image and a small box to put a message in. Levi's was simple. The picture, of him in a suit, was matched with a black cat on the back of his screen- most likely his- staring at the TV as if it were magic. Eren, despite being more of a dog person, couldn't help but awe at it. The message was what drew him in most, though, reading: why the hell does this exist, you're distracting me from work. Eren wasn't sure whether to take it seriously or not. Levi Ackerman, which was his full name, either had a bitter sense of humour or really was a workaholic. From the look on his face, Eren bet it was the latter.

Hastily returning to the menu, he clicked on the next image. This one could almost be the complete opposite of Levi. He was smiling for a start, although it was more a sly smirk than anything indicating happiness, and to say hot was an understatement. He looked like a model or something of the sort. With a neat blonde hairstyle, calm, blue eyes and eyebrows that were large but in fashion, he was no doubt in the magazines in some way. Despite the smile in his profile picture, the rest of his profile wasn't all too happy. His background image was on of a woman with crazy brown hair, slipped back into a loose ponytail, typing away at a computer. But that wasn't it, the computer was on fire, spark falling around it. The woman didn't seem to notice and was focused on typing but Eren could only assume that Erwin was not impressed. Under his name- Erwin Smith- was a curt and polite message but aggressive nonetheless: Hanji, after last time, I refuse to partake in this. Eren looked back at the picture and assumed that Hanji was the one typing. With slight fear, Eren left Erwin's profile and moved to Hanji's.

Hers was a lot more confusing. Her picture was her laughing, somewhat like a mad professor, but her background image was blank. Under her name, Hanji Zoe, her message was simple: AFK until everyone decides to calm down.

Eren, now even more confused, returned to the menu and quickly looked at the last two profiles. Mike and then Petra. Mike seemed nice, although young, but his profile picture was a bit too close to the camera giving Eren a far too clear image of his nose. It was as if the guy was sniffing him. His message box was even blank. Petra's was similar to Mike's. She was smiling in the photo but unlike Mike's, hers was far enough away from her face to give Eren a general idea of how she looked. Her background image only showed a stack of paper and underneath her full name- Petra Ral- she had written: Just let me go home. Eren assumed the pile of paper was actually work.

Finally, Eren had made his way through all the profiles but he couldn't help but be even more confused than before. Who were these people and how did they know each other? Still curious, he looked over the last few buttons. There were four, each with the name printed underneath a small icon: message, email, call and chatroom. Sighing at just how much there was to look through, Eren opened messages to find five messages; each said the exact same thing, who are you? Eren didn't answer, thinking ignoring it was a much better option that trying to explain to some strangers how he had gotten onto their app.

Then, he clicked on emails, to which there were none so he returned to the menu before clicking on call. There was only one, this one from Hanji. It didn't say much but missed call from one minute ago. Eren didn't remember having anyone call him but then again, he wasn't sure just how this app worked.

Finally, Eren clicked on the last button. Chatroom. It was larger than the rest, about double the size and took up a large portion of the lower half of his screen. He clicked and suddenly, he was attacked with a plethora of all-caps messages ranging from 'WHO ARE YOU?' to 'HOW THE HELL DID YOU MAKE IT ONTO THIS CHATROOM, ARE YOU A HACKER?!?!?!?!'. Eren wasn't sure how to respond to that one deciding to just put something simple.

'Hi?' He typed, breaking the stream of messages he was being bombarded with. He looked to the top of the screen to find that only three of the five that's pictures had been on the menu were on the chat. Hanji, Levi and Erwin continued to message him until finally Erwin had the sense to stop.

'Stop, guys. He finally sent something.' The stream of messages did stop and Eren tried again.

'Hi, I'm Eren.' The response was immediate.

'We know.' It was Levi, the message appearing to the right of his angry face. The messenger was similar to texting and he found he could at least work this even if the rest of the app was rather confusing (the mechanics were actually rather simple but Eren was wary as to what it was and why he had found it).

'Levi, don't be rude. He clearly doesn't know how this app works.' Erwin wrote, clearly the voice of reason amongst the group. He followed up with another short message. 'Hi, Eren. If you haven't seen by now, I'm Erwin Smith. The angry one is Levi and the mad looking one is Hanji.' The message was immediately followed by two messages, each the same, from Levi and Hangi.

'Hey!' It seemed neither liked being called angry nor crazy.

'Hi, everyone.' Eren replied anyway, ignoring Levi and Hanji for fear of continuing the argument.

'So...' Hanji typed, the message followed by three bouncing dots that showed she was typing.

'Eren, how did you get this app?' Was the first, most expected question.

'It was in my app store and all it said was SC so I was hoping it was a way of getting Snapchat on my phone. Btw, if you don't want people to come on this, you really ought to change the name.' He replied, deciding to tell the truth. He knew there was no point in hiding anything from these people. They were eventually going to get the truth or just kick him off the app; Eren just wanted to make that happen as soon as possible. He wasn't one to waste time evading what was inevitable.

'Wait, so you didn't hack onto this?' Came Hanji's replied followed by a cute little moving cartoon of Hanji's head tilting sideways before returning to normal: moving on a constant loop.

'No. I don't have a computer.' Eren's reply was short, still wary but proved his point. It was true, he didn't have a computer. He had sold that too. Student loans were a b*tch.

He didn't get a reply by message, simply a little emoticon of Erwin this time, his thick eyebrows raising up and down in surprise. Eren laughed at the cuteness of it and wondered if Hanji had programmed these. She seemed like she knew about computers after all, even if the one he had seen her using was on fire.

'Yeah, I sold it.' He continued, followed by another emoticon, still Erwin, which matched Hanji's from earlier. Eren laughed again, these things really were adorable. He wondered if he could get Hanji to make any of himself.

'Stop. We still don't know if Eren is dangerous.' Levi interrupted, no emojis present. From the way he acted, Eren could only assume he never used them in his life. He looked a little too serious (Eren failed to deny that that was what made him attractive).

'Don't worry! He's not! Just did a background check!' Hanji's response was a little too excitable for what it was.

'You did WHAT?!' Eren rushed to reply, his fingers flying back and forth, correcting multiple typos along the way.

'A background check, I wanted to know who you were.' Hanji was definitely too casual about this, he thought nervously.

'Hanji's a hacker, don't worry about this. She did it for all of us when we joined.' Erwin explained, remaining Eren's rock in all of this. He seemed like someone he could trust. Levi, he still wasn't so sure. Hanji, definitely not. But, who knew, maybe he would grow on them.

'Wait, join what???' Eren replied, now more intrigued than ever. What had he really ran into? Was this a secret organisation? Where was it based? Was it near him? Who were these people?

'The Survey Corps.' Erwin replied as if that meant anything.

'Scouting Legion.' Levi interrupted, his answer just as curt.

'We've already agreed that this is the Survey Corps, Levi.' Erwin replied. Eren could imagine the sigh that was coming from the man's mouth.

'It is officially the Scouting Legion on paper, therefore, I will call it the Scouting Legion.' Levi's reply was aggressively formal, setting a deep-rooted fear into Eren. He, despite being alone in his room in his small apartment, tried to pretend that he wasn't set on edge by the whole scenario but there was no doubt about it, he was absolutely terrified.

'Can someone please just tell me what the hell is going on!!! What the hell is the survey corps/scouting legion/whatever the hell the name is!!!' Eren finally broke out, frustrated and a little tired: he really should have been finishing off his work.

'Eren, it seems you've joined by accident but I think you being here means you've joined nonetheless. Welcome to the Scouting Legion, we are a charity organisation that supports ex-military in their lives after returning from war.' Levi's response, although as formal as ever, explained a lot and Eren couldn't believe he was being roped into this. It was a good cause, he could tell that much but did he really have no choice in this? It wasn't as if he had volunteered.

'Wait, I had no choice in this, why am I now a member?!' Eren typed back quickly before waiting an entire minute until someone bothered to even begin typing and then another minute after that of the three little dots coming and leaving. They were really struggling for a reason.

'This is a pretty secure app, Eren. We can't tell you everything but we can say that you shouldn't be here and now that you are, it would be best that you didn't leave. For your safety.' Erwin replied and within a second, Eren felt chilled to the bone. For your own safety. That was not good. Was he in danger now? What was this organisation? A charity, apparently, but Eren couldn't believe that was all. Something else was going on here and he was going to figure out what.

'Anyway, it's nearly midnight, I have to go. It was night talking to you, Eren. I hope you stay. It really will be for the best.' Eren didn't reply to Erwin, his entire body set on edge: he didn't trust his shaky fingers to type.

A little banner appeared saying that Erwin had logged off, Levi following suit without even typing a message. That only left Hanji. Those three dots appeared again, this time constant.

'Eren, I'm sorry about this all. We'll explain soon. Have a good night.' That was odd, Eren thought as Hanji logged off herself. Hanji, from what he had seen so far, had been quite excitable. He assumed the woman who had talked to him when he first opened the app was her and there was no doubt that, although she was a bit luny, she was excited by the prospect of this app. That message seemed a little too serious, only reminding Eren that this may be more dangerous than he anticipated.

Eren was scared, terrified even, of what he had gotten himself into but as he went to sleep, forgetting about the work that was due tomorrow, he deliberated that he would return if only to figure out what was going on and why he had found his way on to it.

-

Eren woke up to a buzzing phone. He looked over to find someone calling him, yet, this wasn't what normally appeared. At the top of the screen, SC was written in large letters and underneath, Erwin's face appeared, taking up the majority of the screen, his name written much smaller beneath it. Eren hesitantly pressed the green, pickup button and brought his phone to his ear.

'Hi, this is Erwin. I hope this is working. This is Eren, right?'

'Yes.' Eren replied warily, glancing at the clock. 'Why are you calling at...sh*t. It's midday. I'm late. Crap, I'm SO late!' Eren panicked, his phone tucked in between his shoulder and his head, flinging himself off of the bed and into the bathroom. He immediately began to scrub his teeth, ignoring Erwin's requests to calm down.

'Eren! Stop, it's fine. It's Sunday. Hanji says you don't work on a Sunday.' Eren paused, took the toothbrush from his mouth and looked down at his phone. He was right, it was Sunday. Eren didn't work on Sunday.

Ignoring just how creepy it was the Erwin knew that, he let out a sigh of relief and scrambled back to bed, falling upon it like a damsel in distress. 'Thanks.' He breathed, bringing a hand down his face in an attempt to calm his ragged breathing.

'It's no problem, Eren.' Erwin replied and Eren could practically hear the smile in his voice. Erwin, being the least intimidating so far, was easy to talk to and obviously a nice guy but Eren couldn't help but flinch each time he talked as if each note reminded him of the words from yesterday. For your safety.

It didn't make Eren feel safe at all. 'Anyway, I called you to ask how you were. This has all been piled on you very quickly and I thought you might want to talk about it.' Eren was starting to believe this man's kindness was fake. Was he really calling just to see how he was? Was anyone really that nice? It was true, though, Eren did want to talk about it- desperately- but was Erwin really the one to dump all his troubles on. He guessed so, he could only discuss it with the SC members and Erwin was the best candidate so far: he was yet to meet both Mike and Petra.

'I do but...I think I just need some time to process. Thank you, though.' Eren tried to remain formal. He felt so young, they all seemed around ten years his elder and from the way they talked alone, there was no doubt that they were respected members of society.

'There are no questions you want to ask?' Erwin continued on, sounding just as curious as Eren was himself. He had good reason. Eren must have had millions of questions buzzing around his mind, it was just a question of whether he had the confidence to say it.

'Um...well...how old are you?' Eren finally spat out, his voice slightly too off-key to be passed off as confident. He was reassured by Erwin's chuckle on the other side of the line, though, as the man let Eren recover from his hesitance.

'35.' Erwin's answer was simple and proved most of Eren's theories. Erwin, Eren having just turned 21, would be 14 years his elder and suddenly, the way they acted made a lot more sense.

'Oh...wow.' Eren replied, despite lacking surprise. It still hit him a little too hard at being admitted aloud. How had Eren ran into an app that was for a bunch of strangers and on top of that, most of them were a decade older than him.

Erwin chuckled again, the deep sound resonating loudly as Eren set his phone down on the bed and put it on speaker, his hand to lazy to hold it to his ear.

'How about you then, Eren? Hanji was stupid enough to reveal some of your information yet she never did say your age.' Eren smiled slightly at the venomous tone that was directed at Hanji. Erwin seemed like such a reserved man yet Hanji had the ability to make him mad. Was she really that bad?

'Oh, um, 21 as of last week.' Eren smiled as he thought of his birthday party- he didn't think he would ever have the capacity to hold as many shots as he did.

'Congratulations on reaching adulthood.' Erwin replied, a comfortable silence settling for a few seconds.

'Wait...Hanji did what?! What did she tell you!' Eren demanded, sitting up in alarm. He knew a background check had been done but then revealing the information, this was getting worse. He knew, at some point, he might have to get the authorities involved.

'Nothing much, Eren, don't worry. She keeps plenty of secrets herself, I don't think even she had the audacity to give away others. But, we all know the general area you live in- which isn't all that far from all of us, coincidentally- and where you work and what hours you work as well as the college you are attending.' Eren, despite the reassurances, still felt as if his whole life had been given away.

'Well, thanks for telling me, at least. I've got to go now. I'll talk later. Bye.' Eren rushed, the lies clear on his tongue. But, before Erwin could even retort, he had cancelled the call and was staring up at his ceiling in disdain. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

-

Work the next day was torturous and alongside that, his constantly buzzing phone was not helping. Between calls and chatrooms, his phone was going crazy. As was he. After an hour, he had turned his wifi off but then, by some 'coincidence', Hanji decided to add a feature in which it could be used through phone signal. Eren needed his phone on, Mikasa was going to call today so in no way was he turning it off. So, with a scowl permanently etched on his face, he continued work, trying to pretend his butt wasn't vibrating.

When work ended and he had called Mikasa to ask how she was doing on the other side of the country- to which he was still disdainful about- he was home and finally picking up his phone. Still scowling, he clicked on chatroom. It was empty.

He sighed, it just had to be the one time he was on that no one else was.

Except, then, a small grey line appeared on the screen saying: 'Petra Ral has entered the chatroom'. Eren smiled, he hadn't met Petra yet and she seemed like a kind girl, even if she looked stressed in almost all the photos she saw.

'Hi!' He typed, making sure to sound happier than usual, he wanted to make a good impression. She was the only girl here- excluding Hanji but that woman's insane- and Eren thought that he might as well make the most of this and make a friend. He had come out recently and it had just made him feel awkward talking to other men for fear of their reaction. So far, the girls had reacted a lot better to it. By that, they didn't really react at all. Although, he had been asked to be someone's gay best friend a few times. That was a nuisance.

'Hi, Eren, it's nice to meet you.' She replied, sending a little smiling emoticon afterwards. 'And!' She sent, three little dots following. 'I also wanted to apologise about this all. This is an...eclectic mix of people and I know that doesn't exactly help the situation. Don't worry about anything, though. As soon as Hanji gives us the all clear, we can tell you everything.'

'But, I thought Hanji had already done a background check?' Eren replied, confused by the entire situation. His life had been chaotic recently and this secrecy was not helping.

'She has but there a few things she has to sort out. It will all make sense when we tell you.' Followed by another sweet emoticon. Eren couldn't help but give in. This woman was clearly sincere in her actions and really did seem like she wanted the best with Eren. So, for the first time since he had been dragged into this chat, he tried to make proper conversation.

'So, where do you work? It seems everyone knows a fair bit about me and I don't know that much about them XD' It was true, even maybe a bit passive aggressive but true nonetheless.

'Oh, I'm Levi's assistant!' She replied quickly.

'Assistant? Why does he need an assistant?' Eren looked down at his phone, going through the possibilities of what he could be.

'He's the CEO of Ackerman Industries, has no one told you yet?'

'WAIT, NO! He's THE Levi Ackerman?!?!?!?!? How was I not told this?!?!?!' Eren replied in a rush, trying to find the write words but typing no better than almost gibberish with a bit too much punctuation.

'Haha. You have a lot to learn Eren. But, yes, he is THE Levi Ackerman.' And, almost perfectly, another thin grey line appeared. 'Levi Ackerman has entered the chatroom'.

'Levi, we need to talk, now.' Eren looked down at his screen in shock at Petra's words. Where had all the kind words gone?

'Not now, Petra. I'm not in the mood.' Levi replied lazily, talking far too long for such a simple message- it clearly wasn't because he was trying to figure out how to be nice about it.

'Levi!!! You will not ignore me! You cannot dump another project on me!!! We have far too many already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Wow, he thought he was the one to use too much punctuation.

'Petra, calm down. Another one won't kill you.'

'Actually, at this rate, it might! I haven't eaten properly in three weeks! I've been living off small pieces of fruit and the odd sandwich!'

'Well then, you have substance. You won't die.' God, this guy was heartless. Yet, something about him was just as intriguing. He was honest. Eren liked that.

'Hi, Eren.' Levi suddenly typed. Eren felt like a deer in the headlights. Why was he being addressed in the middle of an argument?

'Yes?'

'Why the question mark, brat.' Eren didn't understand why he had been titled as the brat but he made no move to argue against the guy. He was clearly a no-nonsense kind of guy.

'Um...no reason?' Levi only replied with an emoticon. Huh, Eren didn't think he would be the type to use them. It wasn't like the rest of them, though. This was in no way happy. It was just Levi glaring. And, dear God was it scary. Eren felt like the cartoon was looking into him and through him. He shuddered. Since when had emoticons been scary?

'Levi! CAN YOU PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!' Petra typed and with that, Eren found it was his time to leave, exiting the chat without so much as a goodbye. Well, at least, he had met a new person and learnt a little bit more about these people.

Still, that feeling didn't go away. Eren was beginning to doubt it was fear.

-

Eren didn't know how he ended up on the phone to Erwin again. He didn't know how his finger had ended up on the call but or how Erwin he had actually had Erwin pick up. The chain events that lead up to this moment were blurry. As were Eren's thoughts. He didn't have the guts to delve into why he felt this way.

'Wait, what?!' Eren screamed down the phone, a large smile on his face. He was laying on his bed, his bones aching from walking back home but Erwin's voice was distraction enough.

'Yeah, I'm an actor.' Erwin chuckled on the other end.

'Don't tell me. First, Levi and now you! You can't be THE Erwin. Like, just Erwin.' Eren didn't have the words to speak. How the hell had he managed to not only talk to the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world but also a Hollywood actor, all within a week. This was a dream...definitely a dream.

Or, maybe, it was just a too-good-to-be-true book.

'Uh huh, that's me. Dropped the Smith, it's dull.' Eren could practically hear Erwin's smirk on the other line. Suddenly, Erwin's personality made so much more sense. Eren would deny to Erwin that he had watched every single one of his films. That would be a lie. Maybe not the very old ones, his career spanned a lot of years, but yes, he had watched most of them.

'No. Frickin. Way.'

'I thought Mike told you at the chatroom earlier.' Erwin chuckled, he couldn't help but find Eren's naivety and excitability utterly adorable.

'He said you were famous but not THIS famous!'

Erwin continued to laugh whilst Eren continued to splutter almost incomprehensible sentences in his shock. Then, after a few minutes of rambling and more laughter, Eren paused.

'Sh*t.' Another small pause as Erwin waited for the continuation. 'It's late.' Eren continued, his sentences stilted in shock.

'What is it, Eren?' Erwin asked calmly, never the one to worry in the face of another's panic.

'Oh, don't worry. I just...I have to go. I have to be in early tomorrow. I really wanted to keep continued but I didn't realise how long we had been talking and I got carried away and...'

'Eren, stop. It's fine. Sleep, we'll talk tomorrow.' Eren smiled. Erwin was ever the gentlemen. With that, Eren said his goodbye and hung up, got ready for bed and fell asleep with the thought of Erwin on his mind.

He fell asleep with a smile.

-

Eren didn't want to be in the middle of an argument...again. This time, he was surprised to hear, it was about cats. Yes, they were arguing over a cat. Well, Hanji was arguing about a cat. Levi's responses were fairly minimal.

'Levi! I love Captain Rivaille, HOW COULD YOU KEEP ME AWAY FROM HIM!' Hanji complained, her constant use of capitals becoming as annoying for Eren as it was for Levi.

'Hanji, you torture him.'

'I do NOT! I love him! More than you do, grumpy pants.' Hanji was dealing some low blows but nothing seemed to pass through Levi. He was an impenetrable wall. Captain Rivaille, as it took Eren a while to figure out, was Levi's cat. Levi's cat which was very much treated like a living, breathing human being. Despite Eren's initial fear, he found it quite endearing how much Levi cared for the animal, even if he did restrain himself from talking about the little cat too much. He could see, behind the blunt words, the care for his pet.

Levi didn't seem like the person to care about much. It was nice to see that he had something in his life.

'Hanji, could you leave? I would like to talk to Eren alone.' Well, that was a sudden change. Yet, it didn't surprise Eren. Not one bit. Levi did what he wanted. Whether it was interrupting a conversation or it was sending pictures of his cat for no reason, he did it.

Hanji, with the addition of a little scowling emoticon, left the chat. It was just Levi and Eren left.

'Hello, Eren.'

'Hi?'

'I said stop with the question marks.'

'Okay...' Eren didn't know what else to say. With hesitance, though, he began to type despite the knowledge that Levi would most likely call him a brat for asking. 'Um...Levi, why did you want to talk to me in private. Well, not private really, everyone can read this later but...why?' Eren paused again before typing. 'And you can't tell me off for that question mark, that was an actual question.'

The answer didn't come for a while. Eren was beginning to think that Levi was just quite a slow typer.

'I didn't want Hanji here and I wanted to talk to you. No reason. Just do.' Eren blushed as he read it. He denied the reason why. He seemed to do that a lot lately.

'Oh...okay.'

'Stop with the whole ... thing. You and your bratty punctuation. You're typing, there's no reason for it.' That message came a lot faster. That got rid of the slow typer theory. Eren wondered why it took him so long to type the last message. Maybe he was just busy. He was the leader of a company; that would strip any man of his free time.

'Okay.' Eren restrained from adding another ellipses. 'What you doing right now?' Eren wrote lamely, failing to think of anything better.

'I am at home looking after Rivaille. He had a vet appointment earlier and they scare him so I won't leave him until tomorrow. I can't miss work for long. For now, Miss Ral can take the workload.' Selfish but it was adorable just how much he cared for the fluffy, black cat.

'Why don't you call her Petra?'

'It would be unprofessional to call her by another name.' Eren huffed. It seemed odd that despite being in such a tight-knit group that he would still call her by her last name. Poor Petra.

The atmosphere suddenly felt far tenser than before. Eren didn't know what to say. Neither did Levi. So, in his usual fashion, Levi did the only thing he could think of. He scrolled through his photos and sent another picture of Captain Rivaille.

Eren was stuck in a state of shock. Rivaille was rolled on his back, his paw reaching up to touch Levi's cheek. And, Levi, he was smiling. Levi was actually smiling.

'Beautiful.' Eren typed. He didn't know quite who he was talking about.

'He is.' Was the only answer he got.

-

'Eren. I'm glad you're here.' Eren stared at his screen, tempted to switch it off and never look at it again. Who was this? How did they know he was? Why were they on the chatroom?

'Who are you?' Eren typed back in panic.

'Oh, I'm sorry. I should introduce myself. I'm Historia Reiss, the founder of this organisation.' Eren stared blankly at the screen.

'The founder? Why haven't you been mentioned before then?' Eren was suspicious. Who was this girl? What did she want?

'I'm sorry but for security reasons, my identity was withheld. But, WELCOME TO THE SURVEY CORPS!' Eren was already having whiplash from this woman. How had she turned so quickly from formal to an excitable child?

'Thanks?'

'No need to thank me, silly. I'm sure you have a lot of questions and I'm here to answer them.' Eren squinted at her profile picture, trying to get a feel of who she was. The image, though, consisted of two people. He had no idea which one was her but he could only hope it was the smaller, blonde one. At least, she was smiling. The taller one, brown-haired with freckles, scowled at the camera as if she was ready to punch it. Eren would rather not get in her path.

'Oh, well, yeah. I don't know where to start really.' Eren typed. He felt like there were so many secrets but he couldn't find the questions that would unveil them.

'That's okay, Eren. How about I start by explaining all of this?'

The history was long, as was the story. He learnt a bit about each one of them, though. Erwin had joined the organisation long before he had hit the jackpot and ended up as a superstar. And, that said something. This charity was old. It had been working for over a decade to support soldiers in need. The sentiment warmed Eren's heart. On top of that, Historia had expanded it to not only help soldiers but children too. She set up an orphanage in the city and funded foster homes in the nearby areas.

Levi, on the other hand, had come after the riches had come in. Being closer in age to Historia, they had crossed paths at college and slowly, she had coaxed him into joining. Despite being in college, Levi's uncle- Kenny- had already pushed him into a leading position in the company, piling work upon work onto the man. Petra had come even later, joining when she had found out about the charity through Levi whilst working as his assistant. The SCs kept relatively quiet and didn't draw attention to themselves unless needed for fundraising, especially as it was a place where the members could escape from their lives that were often surrounded by media and gossip.

Hanji was actually the first to join, though. Her and Historia had had a long history and had practically created the organisation together. Historia had come up with the concept and had thrown in her dedication to helping people whilst Hanji's tech skills had helped them get noticed as well as easily transferring money and services to the people that needed it.

Mike was the odd one out. He was actually Historia's second cousin, once removed. And, despite the only distant relation, they had been close since they were little. Mike, despite looking around the same age as Erwin, had been revealed to only be in college. He was quite close to Eren's age in reality. He had joined mostly out of dedication to Historia but didn't forget the meaning behind the charity and put in his bit wherever possible.

The main event, though, that had been kept from Eren for so long, was the party. The party was held has sporadic intervals but still quite frequently. It was a fundraising event, always aimed towards a specific charity. It was never held under the SCs name but the charity that the money was being given to in the end. Between all the members, guests were collected and sponsors were made. Eren, on the other hand, had another job.

'Eren, I know this might be quite a load to drop onto you but we really need some help. I have, well, let's just say I can't quite do what I used to be able to do so we really need your help. We need you to organise this party. All you have to do it sort out the guests, get the emails and find a venue. The other members will help you along. I have to go now.'

Historia logged out.

And, Eren was left in utter disbelief at his situation. He had a job. He had work to do. He didn't have the time nor the will to do this. Did he? Over the last few days, they had all talked about what they did for people and it warmed Eren's heart to hear the dedication. But, was Eren the same? Eren cared, that wasn't arguable but did he care enough to organise the entire event.

And, most importantly, what had happened to Historia and why could she no longer do it herself?

-

'W-what?' Eren stammered down the phone, his fingers trembling as his heart began to beat heavily- adrenaline pounding through his veins. He was nervous. He shouldn't have been. That didn't stop him.

'I would like to meet you. I want to discuss the party with you. I know it must be a large load on you and I think I could be of help.' Erwin told as if he had rehearsed the words. Eren knew he hadn't. Erwin was too good with words for his own good.

'Uh...yeah, I heard that. Are you sure? I don't want to...I don't want to take up your time or anything.' Eren stuttered, his mouth agape. Was he really about to go and meet a Hollywood actor under the pretence of party planning? What had the world come to?

Eren hadn't been this shocked since Mikasa had told him that she was going out with Annie- the dead-eyed girl from the street around the corner.

Erwin chuckled deeply. He did that a lot. Eren wasn't sure whether it was his humour that set Erwin off or whether he was just that much of a fool but either way, he was proud that he managed to make the man laugh at all.

'Of course, I'm sure, Eren. I would love to meet you and I am always glad to help out when it comes to the Survey Corps.'

'Scouting Legion.' Eren muttered. He and Levi had talked about it and he had been much more persuaded by the name.

Erwin just laughed again, his words slightly stilted as he caught his breath. 'Okay, I'm always glad to help the Scouting Legion. Would you be able to meet me tonight, six o'clock at the Maria Cafe?' Erwin asked. Eren didn't have a reason to object. Well, apart from the work that he was supposed to do tonight. He could put it off, even if it was due soon. He was meeting Erwin, like THE Erwin, he didn't care about work anymore.

'Uh-huh.'

'Good.' They hung up with minimal goodbyes, they would be meeting in an hour anyway. And then, the panic set in. What should he wear? Should he put on cologne? Was it worth having a quick shower? Should he eat or were they going to eat there? Did he need to bring a notebook to take notes?

The questions came at a rapid pace and Eren himself almost couldn't keep up. In the end, he decided simplicity was best. This was only an actor, he told himself. Yeah, just an actor. He held his hand over his heart for a second, feeling it pumping in his chest a little too fast. He breathed in and out at a steady pace until he felt it regulate again and deliberated that he would be fine.

Everything would be fine.

Everything was not fine.

He was running late. Very late. The effort he had put into his hair had been undone by the wind and the outfit he wore was now soaked by the rain. Why he hadn't brought a coat, he was still unsure. Maybe it was the fact that the ugly, multi coloured anorak was in no way suitable to be seen by any other eyes. He still contemplated what his mum had meant when she wrote that 'it would suit him' in the card that had been laid upon the present.

When he did finally reach the cafe, his heart was pounding and his breathing was heavy. The breathing exercises had been useless. And, unfortunately, when he did spot Erwin- THE Erwin- he looked as perfect as he did in the films. Maybe, the makeup had been stripped off and he looked a little more tired but damn that man was the reincarnation of perfect.

Eren shook himself. He had no reason to be thinking these thoughts about Erwin. It was Erwin. He had no right.

'Eren! Over here!' The man called out just as Eren was about to walk about, embarrassed to the core. Eren looked back, trying to hide a scowl, and walked to the angel in front of him. He scooted into the booth and decided that his best option was to glare at the table and not the man opposite him.

'Eren, is something wrong?' Of course, that was the first question.

'Nope.' Yes.

'What is it?'

'Nothing.' Everything.

'Eren.' He warned and finally Eren pulled his eyes from the table and to the man opposite him. Erwin looked at him with worried eyes and suddenly it all came crashing down on Eren. What had he been thinking? This was the first time he had met the man in person and suddenly he was being a brat. That would be what Levi said, at least.

'No, seriously it's nothing. I'm being childish.' Feeling like an absolute idiot, he sighed and rested his head in hand before the burden weighed heavier, dragging him down the bury his head in his arms on the table.

'That doesn't seem like nothing.' Erwin replied, his tone as caring as before. It only made Eren feel worse. Could he have acted more immature?

'I've ruined everything, haven't I?' He muttered to himself. But, as expected, Erwin was listening in on him with great intent.

'You haven't ruined anything, Eren.' Erwin spoke to him, slightly confused.

'Yes, I have. I come in here looking like a mess, soaked and then start acting like a bratty child.' He complained, taking his head out of his arms and opting for leaning his head against the plasticky cushions of the booth.

'It sounds like you've been talking to Levi a little too much.' Erwin chuckled before stopping abruptly and looking at Eren with serious eyes. 'Eren, there's no reason to feel nervous. Is it because of my career? You can tell me if it is.' Eren just nodded shyly, his head barely moving but noticeable enough.

'There's no need to be nervous, Eren. Just pretend I'm something like a...' he paused, bringing a finger to his lips before smiling. 'Pretend I'm a janitor. I'm sure that will get rid of this inferiority complex you seem to be intent on.' The words were forceful but nonetheless kind. Eren nodded again, smiling.

'A janitor? I really can't imagine you being a janitor.' Eren laughed quietly, the sound muffled by the back of his hand.

'You can't? I think I would do very well cleaning.' Erwin laughed, following up his original statement. He was glad to see Eren smiling, even if he was sacrificing some of his dignity for it. 'I would look very good cleaning school toilets, don't you think?' He continued, only for Eren to burst into a fit of giggles as Erwin continued to make up silly scenarios about himself.

Eren finally ceased laughing and looked up at Erwin with a timid smile. Silence fell for only a second. It wasn't awkward, not at all. It was as if Eren was wrapped in Erwin's kindness and that smile would not just leave his face, even if he wanted it to. 'You're really not what I expected you to be.' Eren admitted timidly, the smile still quirking up the sides of his lips.

'I hope what you got was much better.'

By the end of the evening, they still hadn't talked about the party.

-

It was another week until Erwin and Eren saw each other again. They talked in the chat room often, much to the disgust of Levi. To which Erwin teased him about being jealous. Eren didn't quite understand. There was nothing to be jealous of.

He and Erwin weren't anything, were they?

'Eren! I'm glad I got you at the right time! I hope I'm not disturbing anything.' Erwin asked down the phone as Eren sat on the couch, his spine curling in a position only a student or teenager could muster, watching some god-awful TV show.

'No, you're not disturbing at all.' Eren tried not to let on just how glad he was that he really was doing nothing. Lately, he and Erwin had definitely grown closer. Maybe a little too close. They both tended to ignore that.

They also tended to ignore just how close Eren and Levi were getting as well. Levi tended to be angry in chats or, at least, simplistic in his messages but there was no doubt that something about Eren was changing him. His honesty was still there but he put it across gentler. He wasn't as blunt and harsh. His crude jokes had become more subtle and less in your face.

They were all changing.

And, it was all because of Eren.

Mike had never been doing better at school. Petra had never been complaining less. Levi had never opened up as much. Erwin had never smiled so much in his life. And Hanji, she was crazier than ever.

And, despite that never having been a good thing. They couldn't help but smile at her craziness, now.

'That's good. Are you free for the rest of the evening?' Eren gave the all-clear and it was planned that they would once again meet up. And, this time, there was no excuse of party planning. Which was actually going rather well. The sponsors were already piling up as well as the guest list.

Eren, cringing at the awful memories of last time, decided to relax on this. He had been reassured that although Erwin was taking him to a restaurant, it would be nowhere fancy and he wouldn't have to dress up. And yes, he would definitely be able to understand the menu.

He got changed into what was voted as the best outfit by Mikasa over Skype and ignored the recurring questions about who it was he was going on a date with. He had hung up quickly only to get more texts. He put his phone on silent.

That wasn't such a great idea when he stood outside of his apartment alone, in the cold, with Erwin nowhere in sight. He had been waiting twenty minutes when he checked his phone to find ten missed calls, eight messages. Eight of the calls from Erwin, one from Mikasa and another one from...Levi? Only one of the messages was from Erwin- who he had learnt didn't like to text- whilst the other ones consisted of five from Mikasa and two from Levi.

Mikasa (5) ~

Tell me!

Please!!

Eren, I need to know!

You better answer me, mister.

If you are with the guy now, he is so in trouble. I will not stand for being ignored.

~

Levi (2) ~

Are you free?

You better f*cking answer me, brat.

~

Erwin (1) ~

You won't pick up so I assume you don't have your phone on but I'm really sorry. I am running late. I should be at yours in 30 minutes.

~

The message had been sent fifteen minutes ago. So, Eren decided to stick out the cold, sticking his hands in his pockets and hoping that his jumper was enough to protect him from hypothermia.

When Erwin did arrive, he had never heard a man apologise more. Erwin was usually so calm but it was clear something bad had come up, even if he was covering his tracks well.

'It's fine, Erwin. Really. I was late to our last...' Eren paused, swallowing down the word date. '...meet up. This makes us even.' Eren laughed shyly, sending a small smile to Erwin's face. He smiled every time Eren laughed. He was adorable like that.

Erwin then reverted his eyes to the road and kept silent whilst Eren put his phone back onto ringer and answered the messages, giving Mikasa a small 'go away, that's not why I'm ignoring you' before staring at Levi's messages in confusion.

'I think Levi wants to meet me?' Eren asked, a question rather than a statement. Erwin knew Levi far better than anyone.

'What did he say?' Erwin asked, not looking away from the road but overtly curious.

'Are you free? Followed by, you better f*cking answer me.' Eren couldn't help but laugh slightly before adding, 'brat'. Erwin sighed but chuckled along. 'Well, that's definitely Levi and I do think that's an invitation to meet him. I'm surprised you haven't yet. Am I the only Survey Corps member you've met yet?'

Eren nodded shyly before whispered, 'Scouting Legion.' Erwin only glared at him playfully.

After that, sending Levi 'tomorrow?', everything went rather smoothly. It was quiet but comfortable and the restaurant was delightful, selling a myriad of Asian cuisine- he learnt that that was Erwin's favourite.

It wasn't until the end of the night that things went a bit awol.

And by that, it means terribly, terribly wrong.

'This is my stop.' Eren said, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking over at Erwin with a kind smile.

'I'll walk you to your door.' Was all he replied with, ever the gentleman. They got out slowly and walked in calm synchronisation. When they reached the door, both of them paused, unsure quite what to do.

'I had a really good time.' Eren turned, shyly, not yet getting out his key.

'Me too.' Erwin looked down at him softly, his lips not set in a smile nor a frown. He just looked...gentle. Kind. Just as he had been to Eren over the last weeks.

'I.' Eren stopped himself, looking up to the man above him. He didn't have words anymore. Their eyes were locked together and their lips were only inching apart. Neither stopped what was about to happen. Neither wanted to. It was perfect. A good night kiss for the perfect night.

Their lips brushed, both of them smiling madly against the other's lips. Then, with muster only Erwin could have, he swept Eren into his arms and brought his lips down hard on Eren's.

And then, the moment it all went wrong.

They heard the click before they saw the flash. Erwin was the first to turn, he knew what this was. He knew exactly what this was. How had he not expected this? 'Did someone just take a picture?' Eren said in utter confusion, looking up to the man whose face only represented fear. The realisation dawned upon him. 'That was the paparazzi, wasn't it?' Erwin only nodded.

'They didn't know you were gay, did they?' Erwin only nodded again. 'Sh*t.'

-

Eren had never seen so many people outside his door. Most of them held cameras whilst a few stood with microphones and notepads. It had only been one week. How the hell was he supposed to make it out of this mess?

Last time he left, he could only get out because Levi's body guards had escorted him out. It had ended up quite nicely, though. His inability to go in public meant that he got to stay in Levi's penthouse sweet and dear God was that place nice.

Eren was on his way again, this time without the help of Levi after claiming that the crowd had died down. It was just an excuse not to see his body guards again, they scared him more than he cared to admit. So far, he had avoided the news. He knew what he would see. The scandal had spread quickly and Erwin had barely enough time to apologise between shooting his new film and sorting out this entire mess. Eren had watched a few of the recent interviews and although Erwin was putting on a strong facade, Eren could see the toll it was taking on him. Eren didn't blame him, not at all. They had both been careless and forgotten such a key part of Erwin's life. But, it was neither of their faults. The media had no right to follow them, especially to Eren's home. Even if, legally, they couldn't be prosecuted.

Eren breathed in and out in steady intervals before grabbing his back and opening the door. Per Erwin's advice, that had been sent to him in a hastily written text, he had a baseball cap on and he kept his face low. He didn't speak and only pushed past the interviewers to his car, hoping that his face wouldn't appear on everything from magazines to websites the next day. He couldn't help but feels sorry for his neighbours, most of them students like him. For once, he felt bad for Jean who had been mistaken for Eren a few times in the past.

He quickly pushed his car away from his house and sped to Levi's apartment, hoping he wasn't being tailed. Even if he was, hopefully, it would be fine. There were enough reporters outside Levi's house for the man himself that Eren could get passed it with the help of a few terrifying bodyguards. At least, this time, he wouldn't have the be stuck in a car with them.

He was right. As soon as he left the car, he was escorted by five or so bodyguards into the lift and up to Levi's apartment. Eren let out a sigh and smiled as the doors open and Levi's penthouse was revealed. It was becoming familiar and was beginning to feel like a safe place rather than a foreignness of a stranger's home. He didn't see Levi right away and was greeted by Captain Rivaille, who squished his head against Eren's leg in a sign of affection. Eren smiled even wider and leaned down to rub under the cat's chin. They were soon purring contently as Eren looked around for Levi.

Soon enough, he appeared from around the corner, loosening his tie as he came. 'I still don't understand why he likes you, brat.' Levi's face didn't move an inch but Eren could see the hidden smile in his eyes. He was beginning to see the signs and even if he never saw Levi smile, he would be content in the glint in his eyes he saw whenever he addressed his cat or heard something funny.

Eren just laughed slightly and let the cat run over to Levi, where it did the same. 'Anyway, brat, keep your shoes on, we're going out.'

'W-what?! I can't do that! Neither can you! If I'm seen with you-' he was cut off as Levi sent him a death-worthy glare.

'Shush, kid. Do you think I didn't know that? I know somewhere we can go.' Eren only nodded and followed Levi out of the door.

-

Eren never wanted to drive with Levi ever again. Ever. Eren didn't believe the confirmation that Levi had, in fact, gained his license. Or, at least, Eren decided that he hadn't driven since that test.

He didn't know quite what to say when Levi nearly started driving on the wrong side of the road, leading to him simply gaping at the man like a fish. Levi continued to drive on without even sparing a glance in Eren's direction.

They did, eventually, come to a stop. To which Eren caught his breath and scrambled out of the car for fear of it starting again. At this rate, he was driving them back or he was walking. He would not get in the car with Levi in the driver's seat ever again.

'How have you not got enough points to stop you driving altogether.' Eren panted, his hands on his knees, not bothering to look at where they were.

'Money.' Levi dismissed and stalked off to the left, Eren obediently following behind. It was getting late and the sun was beginning to set on the horizon, blocked by a line of iron warehouses on the left side of the plot.

'Where are we?' Eren asked, finally taking the silence as an opportunity to find his bearings.

'No idea but it's empty.' Eren just stared at him as if he was a lunatic. He was so getting murdered.

'Empty? Why does it have to be empty?' Levi looked back at him in disdain.

'Do you mean you've already forgotten the exact reason that you've had to lock yourself in my apartment, brat?' The realisation dawned upon him and yes, he figured, he probably wasn't going to be murdered. Probably.

The media was hiding around every corner but they could only hope that they would have some peace and quiet in some abandoned work area after hours. 'Did you pick a lock or something to get in here? Do they not have like any security?' Eren asked, kicking some dirt up with his shoe.

'Brat, you saw me drive in. You would have seen me if I did. Security will only be detailed by the actual warehouses. What's anyone going to steal from here, dirt?' Eren had to agree with Levi's testament and followed him to some creaky bench. 'Filthy.' Levi complained, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket and began to dust before Eren even had the chance to sit down. When Levi finally drew away, Eren took it as his invitation to finally sit down.

Levi followed suit and sat next to Eren, folding his legs and leaning back with one arm on the backrest to support him. Eren, feeling slightly serene in the stillness of it all, leant his head against Levi's shoulder and closed his eyes.

'You can see the stars.' Levi stated, seemingly bored but Eren knew better. That glint in his eye was back. That beautiful, fantastic glint. Eren opened his eyes but didn't look up. He could see the stars reflecting in Levi's eyes and that was all he needed.

'Yeah, you can.' He breathed, his face leaning upwards to watch Levi's eyes dart around the darkening sky.

'You're not looking, brat.'

'I am. I'm just not looking where you are.' Eren breathed, too warm and comfortable to think of the situation he had stuck himself in. Levi suddenly drew his eyes from the sky and looked back down at Eren. His face softened as he watched the admiration on Eren's eyes. And, for once in his life, Levi admitted something. He had the capability to fall in love. He hadn't yet, not by a long shot but he knew when he looked into the brat's eyes. He knew. He had the capability of love.

They both leaned in without realising it and neither spoke until their lips were brushing and the wrongness of it all set in. It was the right thing at the wrong time. A misfortune neither decided to dwell on.

'We can't.' Eren spoke shyly, backing away a bit. He thought of Erwin, the guilt he would feel when he saw his face but then, it was as if all dissipated with two simple words spoken from Levi's lips.

'We can.' Their lips crashed together desperately. They adjusted so they were facing each other, stuck in a battle of dominance. And then, to both of their surprise, from behind their closed eyes, they saw a flash of white. They pulled away immediately, looking towards the source of the light. A man, presumably, from the shadow, held his phone up, directed straight towards that.

'You have GOT to be kidding me!'

-

It is confirmed that Levi Ackerman is, in fact, gay. After years of rumours and conspiracies, he has finally be found kissing another man. BUT, more importantly, he was found by an abandoned warehouse kissing the one and only ERWIN's lover. What is going on? What secrets are going on? And, does the other know?

And the one thing the whole nation wants to know. Who is Eren Jaeger?

~Trost Magazine

-

As Eren read the article on his phone, he was close to crying. He looked down at this buzzing phone to see that Mikasa was calling him again and despite the knowledge that it would only make him feel worse, he picked up hoping to hear a familiar voice whilst he locked himself away in his apartment.

It had been three days since he kissed Levi. Over a week since he had kissed Erwin. And, over an hour since he last broke down.

'Eren Jaeger! What the HELL are you thinking!' Eren stared down at the screen, not bothering to turn on speaker for how loud Mikasa's voice was and watched as the chat room went crazy with notification. Everyone but him, Levi and Erwin were on, making theories on what happened. He didn't dare read Hanji's crazy conspiracies but was glad to see Petra's sense as Mikasa yelled down the receiver.

'Huh?' He asked when the voice stopped, turning on speaker hoping that maybe she had just quieted down.

'I asked you a question, mister! You better be listening!' Mikasa threatened and instead of turning off speaker, Eren turned down the volume to none but one. Eren hummed, a vague answer to whatever she had asked only gaining him a sigh.

'Eren, what's happened?' Eren looked down at his phone, the tears welling in his eyes again.

'I don't know, Mikasa. I really don't know.' He held in a sob but it was clear enough just how upset he was.

'Are you alright, Eren?' Mikasa worried on the other end of the line. 'God, I regret moving this far away. If only we had moved together and this all would have been sorted-'

'Stop, Mikasa. This isn't your fault. This is mine. You couldn't have done anything to stop it, anyway. You would only have got caught up in it yourself.' Eren breathed in and out, letting the tears flow down his cheeks.

'Eren, you know you can cry if you want to. You don't have to hold it in.' Mikasa's soothing voice came down the receiver and Eren broke down. One hour, that was a record. He let the sobs take him over as he held onto his stomach, trying to breathe. Mikasa continued to talk, trying to soothe him, shouting at whoever came into her room to 'go away! I'm doing something important!'.

When Eren recovered, Mikasa finally hung up, saying to call whenever he needed. He agreed and watched as the call faded out and was replaced with even more notifications from the chat. He picked up his phone with shaky hands and looked down at it. He unlocked it but didn't open the chatroom, only watching the messages as they came through on his notifications.

Erwin was there as was Levi. 'We've decided something.' Erwin wrote, followed by, 'this will all be solved soon'. Levi agreed, saying that 'we have it sorted out' and with that, Eren felt the guilt hang lighter. He still had plenty to apologise for but at least, he knew they had talked through it and if he was lucky, it wouldn't end in a punch to someone's face.

He switched off his phone and threw it the floor carelessly and watched the wall mindlessly until there was knock at his door. Odd, he thought. Despite the constant personnel standing outside, no one had ever dared knock. Warily, he looked through the peep hole to see the two most unlikely candidates standing outside.

Quickly, though, he opened the door and ushered them inside to let them avoid the flashing of the cameras and the bombardment of pointless questions. Eren slammed the door shut, staring at the two in a mix of guilt, awe and fear. Neither seemed all too angry, just as tired as before. 'W-why are you here?' He stammered, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open slightly.

'We came to talk, Eren.' Erwin spoke calmly, emotionlessly. Eren scavenged for any sort of feeling but found nothing. It was like he was staring at the wall again. Hastily, he wiped at his cheeks, trying to cover that he had been crying but it was clear enough that they already knew by the way Levi stared at his cheeks, just as emotionless.

'Oh, okay. Well, sit down.' He motioned to the couch and let both the men stride over, sitting down. They emitted confidence and poise in everything they did and Eren's inferiority complex returned as he took a chair opposite the pair, feeling small despite being very much in between both men's heights.

'Um, before you begin...' Eren took a breath, he had to do this. 'I want to apologise. For everything. This whole scandal thing is my fault and I shouldn't have-'

'What?' It was Levi who watched him in utter confusion. He looked at Eren before moving to watch Erwin's face who looked like he was calculating some sort of plan. Erwin just looked lost. That was a first. Erwin always had a plan and if not, Levi definitely had some sort of impulse that he would go off. But no, both sat in silence.

Eren was about to continue when Levi raised a single finger, motioning for him to stop. 'No, don't even continue that.' He spoke calmly but his statement was undoubtedly an order so, with little hesitation, Eren shut up and gazed at his lap. After a minute of deafening silence, Erwin spoke up.

'We came here to apologise, Eren but you've thrown us off here. What do you have to apologise for?' Eren stared up at them incredulously.

'I mean, I kind of started a scandal.' He looked at Erwin and Levi who looked at him as if he had just told them he was an alien.

'You did what?' Levi spat, leaning forward in his seat. 'Eren do you realise that none of this was at fault of you? Think it through. If it were not for my and Erwin's positions, this would not be happening at all. Erwin, as I've heard, was the one to initiate the kiss, as was I. You were the one that got caught up in all of this, Eren. You didn't do anything wrong. And if anything, it's the media's fault for being nosy pigs.' Eren, despite his shock, couldn't help but snort at Levi's comment. He didn't think Levi would ever drop the crude humour.

'It's true, Eren. This isn't your fault.' Erwin followed up to show that he too agreed with Levi's statement.

'So...so you're not angry?' Eren asked shyly, letting a wan smile onto his face. Erwin chuckled whilst Levi smirked.

'No, Eren, we're not angry at you at all.'

'Oh, thank god!' He breathed out and rushed towards them, wrapping them both up in either arm. It took a full few seconds before he realised what he was doing and rushed back to his seat, staring awkwardly at his lap again. Erwin chuckled again and Eren looked up to see a warm smile on his face, Levi's smile- or as much as a smile as he would ever have- was still there too.

'We had to talk about another thing too, Eren.' Erwin spoke again, his smile getting slightly larger. 'We both like you Eren. And as much as Levi won't admit it, we might just be falling for you.' Eren gaped at the two of them. 'But, we won't risk losing you for another so we decided, that if you were willing, we would like to try something. Do you know what polyamory is, Eren?' He nodded enthusiastically, knowing exactly where this was going. 'Well, we would like to try it.'

'Yes! Yes! YES!' He squealed, repeating his earlier movements and wrapping them both in a warm hug. 'I think this is the best thing to ever happen to me.' He whispered into their shoulders causing Erwin to laugh and on Eren's left, he felt someone's shoulders shaking. Levi's hand was on his face, trying to cover the smile that was playing on his face but Eren was having none of it. He pulled his hand away from his face and watched Levi's lips quirk up into an awkward smile. Eren had never seen something better in his life.

'I made Levi smile! I MADE HIM SMILE!' He squealed and Levi only smiled more as Erwin almost rolled over from laughing so hard but couldn't help but stare at Levi too as Levi tried to withhold his laughter.

Eren began to laugh too and squeezed his arms harder around them, whispering a quiet 'thank you'.

-

The party planning was finally finished and two weeks after the 'talk' at Eren's house, it was finally taking place. They had found a hotel on the west side of the city which was large enough to fit their large audience and had brought in decorators to do the rest for them.

Eren didn't know quite what he was supposed to do but he was told to wear a suit, which he had to go out and buy, and arrive at six o'clock sharp. Levi had made sure to add that if he was late, he was a dead man. Since seeing him smile, though, his threats didn't seem all that dangerous.

As told, he reached the venue at 5:59, hoping that he wasn't going to be told off for being a minute early or something ridiculous like that. Levi was unpredictable, anything could happen. And, if he hadn't had enough reporters outside his door already, the ones at this venue were in larger numbers and it was almost impossible to decipher their questions.

He stepped out of his car, which looked out of place amongst the shiny sports cars, and walked down the red carpet that had been rolled out for the guests. Feeling shy, he kept his head down like usual until a spritely Petra ran up to him in a beautiful, red dress that flew down to the floor like a waterfall.

'Eren! It's so nice to meet you!' She spoke excitedly, wrapping him in a hug, causing the flashes to go crazy. He really hoped a hug wasn't enough to cause another scandal. He didn't want to be known as the guy who went out with everyone.

'Same here. That dress looks amazing by the way.' Eren added, smiling gently at the shorter girl.

'And you look dashing in that suit. Should we go inside?' She asked and Eren nodded, holding his head a bit higher as the cameras followed him inside. The doors shut behind him before he heard the squeals and at exactly six o'clock, the men of the hour walked in, the cameras seemingly brighter than before. The questions shouted louder than ever. Erwin and Levi walked in side by side, their demeanour as calm as ever. But, as they saw Eren, a small smile appeared on both of their faces- Levi's much more inconspicuous than Erwin's.

'Hello, Eren.' Erwin introduced himself as if they were strangers but that look on his face was something Eren had seen far too many times. Erwin was planning something. Something big. Levi was less formal just addressing him with a simple 'brat' to which Eren smiled and gave him the same in reply: 'Levi'.

After that, Eren was introduced to both Hanji and Mike in person and Eren was shocked to see just how tall Mike was. If he had to guess, he would say the man was in his late thirties, not early twenties. Hanji, like the woman she was, wrapped him up in a lung-crushing hug but let him go with a warning glare from Levi.

'Protective of him already I see.' Hanji winked, raising her eyebrows up and down separately, running away gleefully when Levi came after her. When Petra and Mike went to say their welcomes to the guests, Erwin and Eren were finally alone in some forgotten corner. They didn't dare try anything as the media was still just outside but it did give them at least a semblance of privacy.

'What are you planning, Erwin?' Eren sighed as he saw Erwin smirk at the crowd.

'Oh, that's nothing to worry yourself with yet, Eren. You'll see. And, I think you'll like it.' With that, Erwin left, leaving Eren gobsmacked and feeling a bit lonely. He had at least wanted to talk. Sighing, Eren scanned the crowd and smiled at the guests he had curated last minute. In his strop, he had forgotten about the party and it had all been a bit last minute but it couldn't have turned out better. He was proud of himself.

With an awkward ring, the microphone was turned on and all attention went to the main stage at the back of the room. By now, most of the guests had arrived and there was nothing left to wait for. On the stage, leaning down to speak into the microphone, was Erwin.

'Hello, everyone. I hope you can all hear me.' He gave them a blisteringly bright smile, one only an actor could pull off. 'I wanted to welcome you to this charity event and also clear up a few things. I hope by the end of the night, all our sponsors will be glad to have donated and if you would like any more information, the organisers all have a stamp on their hand,' Eren looked down and finally understood why someone had come up to him and stamped his hand whilst he had been waiting for Erwin and Levi, 'but, on another note, I would like to address something much different. I am sorry for drawing our eyes away from charity but if you would not like to hear what I have to say, feel free to go on with your own business, there is plenty of food and drink to spare.' Nobody moved; Erwin smiled. He waved his hands and suddenly the doors were opened and the reporters let in. Eren stared in shock but Erwin looked as composed as ever. This was part of this plan. Eren couldn't help but be curious as to what it was.

Suddenly, Levi was on stage. Eren looked at him, wondering how he had appeared so suddenly but it was Levi, there was little point asking questions. Not now, not when his other questions were all too overpowering.

Erwin began to speak again. 'Lately, as most of you have probably seen, Levi and I have been in the news a lot. We have been the source of many theories and gossip and I finally want to clear everything up. Eren can you please come up to the stage.' Eren didn't know if he was moving his legs but it did feel as if the stage was drawing closer. Almost unwillingly, his legs moved up the stairs and to where Erwin and Levi stood. He had never been one to get stage fright but looking out at the crowd, he was sure he was going to faint. A hand on his back was his only reassurance.

'Feel free to leave if this makes you uncomfortable but I hope with this, people will become more aware that this isn't something that doesn't happen. Dating more than one person, also known as polyamory, is just as valid a relationship as a monogamous one. And, on top of that, yes, Levi and I are both homosexuals. And, we are both dating Eren Jaeger.' Eren froze to the spot, looking between them frantically but they only looked confident in their actions and as the cameras flashed, they leant round and both of their lips locked onto Eren's.

-

It is confirmed that BOTH Levi Ackerman and Erwin Smith are dating Eren Jaeger, a twenty-year-old born and raised within the city. They are hoping to make people more aware of polyamorous relationships and have said that they are always willing to explain to people just how their relationship works.

In an interview, Eren himself said 'I love them both, that's just how it is. It's nothing more complicated than that.'

They now have gained a heavy social-media following and post regularly on Eren's account: @jaegerbomb. When asked about the name Erwin replied with: 'the name was the reason we met. We thought that it was the most fitting name. Although I admit, Levi did argue against it.'

The three of them are living happily and apparently, Eren's lack of status has had no effect on their relationship due to the media's recent questions. It is becoming clear just how little it matters as each and every single one of them has said the same statement when asked. 'We're in love. That's all that matters.'

~Trost Magazine, follow @tr.magazine or @jaegerbomb to find out more.


	3. Devil Inside

Eren let his lips curl into a freakish smile, looking down at the other man like he was the hunter to his prey. The glint in his cerulean eyes said it all, that glint that represented his cunning slyness, the glint that represented his thirst for blood.

With a tug on his leather jacket, he placed his boot on the man's forehead, the dirt rubbing off to create a print on the blemished skin. The knife twirled in his hand, the metal shining under the moonlight. He looked down, ready to speak with only flesh on his mind.

'Anything to say for yourself?' He spat, digging his boot harder into the skin, tearing it at the hairline. It was Eren's speciality, his words caused fear more than the blade he kept by his side. He used his words as weapons. There was no need to cut skin if you cut the heart. Words were sharper than knives.

The man trembled, his muscles clenching and his heart pounding like a drum underwater. ‘I'll take that as a no.’ Eren brought the knife down and carved the man's heart from his chest like a carver to his wood. He smiled wholly as his teeth stained red and his skin blemished. This was his calling, he thought. This was what he was born to do. Not all men are born to do good. Some are born to be bad. Sometimes it's needed. Good only exists by evil. Without evil, good is chaos. Good becomes evil. Without balance, there is a paradox.

Eren took pride in that paradox. He had the knowledge that his skills created good, even if he himself was damned. Although, Eren has never had a crucial religious belief. You could say that the paradox was his religion. It could be counted. What was a religion anyway? An organisation which worships with devotion? Eren could say he had that. Then again, that would make far more religions than actually existed.

Eren called himself an atheist. It was hard, though, when he worshipped the devil. He wasn't a believer in Satan. That corresponded to a god, a god which he did not believe in, a God that was not on his side. He was, in fact, a believer in true evil. He believed in sin and he believed that he was ruled by it. Or rather, he.

Eren looked down at the man whose heart lay limp in a pool of his blood. It made a pretty painting. Eren laughed and looked down at the man. ‘Killed for nothing. Didn't commit a damn sin in his life.’ He looked down at the heart of a priest.

Eren would deny that he was a psychopath. And, he was right in doing so. Psychopaths think what they're doing is right. Eren was different, he knew it was wrong.

He loved it.

It makes one wonder. If he believes in a balance, that there is good in evil, what is he? A paradox? Because there is no good in Eren. But if the world must have a balance then why doesn't he? It really does make one wonder, how did the other half die?

-

The glint in Levi’s silver eyes spoke a thousand words. The blossoming trees encased themselves in flames and danced in the red and orange paint. The lighter flickered in his hand as he rolled and rolled it. An eternal flame. Until he got too tired, at least.

His pride had come too far. He wasn't worthy of such power. As the flames licked at the bark, he watched his power taking form. This is where his pride got him. He refused the devil and now he watched as he became it.

He would never be an incarnation of evil, no, that was reserved for him but he could sure as hell say he was not a man of good. Levi was a man fed on nothing- poor, alone and vulnerable- and, in turn, survived on his pride. He wouldn't be controlled, he was in control. He didn't beg, he didn't barter. He survived. Even if it meant destroying a few beautiful things along the way.

The trees burnt and the yard turned to ash. It was his mother's garden. His garden until he was ten. A small little thing it was. Nothing bigger than a bedroom and, in the bottom left-hand corner, stood a tree. Now nothing more than compost for the soil. This was someone else's garden now, they would be back any moment. So, kicking away the rubble of flowers ripped from the ground and the splinters than escaped the flames, he traipsed away. It was a quick process. These houses never were all that protected. It's what you get for buying a cheap house in a rough neighbourhood. But, his family- well, just him and his mother- could afford no better.

Looking at his phone, he watched as a message came through. Eren: you still free? Levi smiled and typed back a not to so kind message of ‘yes.’ But, he knew Eren wouldn't care. Eren never cared. But, he knew he was needed. Eren had done it again and when a boy sheds blood, his blood must be shed in return.

The journey wasn't long but Levi's muscles still faintly burnt as the large town house came before him. The dark brown brickwork was crumbling and the windows had yet to be opened. As Levi stepped through the unlocked door, the smell of must choked him. Dust was thick in the air and the surfaces hadn't been swept in forever. Levi was tempted to clean the house top to bottom but he knew Eren’s ways and the house would only return to its usual state by the end of the week. It was Eren's house and if he wanted to keep it like this, Levi would let him.

‘Brat! Where are you?’ Levi called out, the response coming in the form of pattering footsteps coming down the creaky stairs. Dust lifted from the ground and his dirty boots trended mud into the splits in the wooden floorboards but there stood Eren, as immaculate as ever. Which, to Levi, made him look rather peasant-like.

Eren looked down at him, throwing his hair out of his face and correcting the positioning of his leather jacket. 'Right here.' The younger boy smirked and strode towards Levi, his boots falling heavily on the floor. The act was meant as threatening but Levi couldn't do anything but scoff as the boy loomed over him. The shadow passing over his body was, in fact, rather comforting as it blocked out the oddly yellow shine of the nearby light.

'The usual?' Levi asked, skipping ahead, looking up at the boy with a shine in his eyes. The boy smiled brighter than before and took a step away.

'Not quite.' He spoke causing Levi to raise his eyebrows in confusion, shivering in disgust as he felt the already collecting dust shift on his face. The smell hit harder than ever. Levi's eyes began to water.

'Not quite?' Levi reiterated, only for Eren to raise a hand, telling him to wait with no words and rushing off towards the back of the grimy shack he called home. Levi waited for far longer than he wanted to but he couldn't say he wasn't curious to see what was in store for him today. Levi lacked excitement in his life. Even now, the fire licking at the earth no longer set his stomach rolling and his skin buzzing.

He had moved on. He knew how to get that buzz: a slap to the face, a punch to the jaw or a kick to the knee. It set him on edge and his adrenaline pumped. He felt that with the lighter in his hand but just like the fire of a lighter, it was no brighter than a flickering flame. But a fight, that was far different. He could feel his entire self lose control and he could be who he wanted to be.

Powerful.

And Eren gave him that power. He had to fight for it, sure. But, that was part of their game. That was essential to their game. They fought for what they wanted, Levi for power and Eren for him.

Yes, him.

The man that stripped Levi of his power. The man that was the reincarnation of an angel; a golden halo of hair, eyes as deep as the Tenerife sea and a smile that tricked even the strongest of wills to drop down to their knees.

He was no angel. He was a devil in disguise.

A devil walking down the stairs with Eren in tow. 'Erwin.' Levi acknowledged, watching as Erwin ignored the bouts of dirt around him as if it was inconsequential. It was, to most. Levi's aversion to dirt was the only thing that made Eren's house of any significance. Erwin didn't delve into such petty things. He was above that. He hardly saw Eren and Levi, how was he meant to see the dirt that clung to him? What he saw was far beyond what most men saw.

'Levi.' He was graced with a smile. 'I'm glad you're here.' Erwin straightened out his suit, as polite as ever. It was impossible to believe he had anything but good intentions. His words were poison. His words were sincere. His actions were far from good-willed. 'I think it's about time we begin.' Levi didn't ever understand that phrase. It wasn't the words itself. They were as simple as a child's talk. It was the message they conveyed.

He spoke as if they were to begin a show, not a brawl. But, then again, a fight is as much of a show as anything else. It wasn't theatre, though. This wasn't supposed to be for a spectator's amusement. This was bloody battle that spilt red onto the grass, only swept away by the common bouts of rain.

Nevertheless, Erwin watched. He always watched with a smile. Their fight was as much a performance as he was. His actions were never sincere. His stance was fake, his smile was fake, his appearance was fake. Levi only ever noticed when they were alone. There were few times when Erwin was vulnerable. Levi believed there were none, in reality, but he let himself trick himself that there was that moment where he wasn't on guard. Levi hoped that he was the only one who could see it.

He wasn't.

Eren and Levi stalked into the yard and trod the green grass brown under their heavy footsteps. Eren was the first to strip down, removing his jacket and then his top, leaving him shirtless and already panting. Levi followed suit and raised his arms, positioning them for both attack and defence.

Eren threw the first punch, as always, and fists begun to fly. Levi's lip split and Eren's jaw cracked. Erwin smiled all the way through. Neither thought of the decision he was making. Levi's cheek ran red and his eye turned brown, then purple. Eren's face was out of place, nothing a yank of a hand couldn't fix.

The fight ended with Eren on the floor. Levi, having sustained the most injuries, was an unsuspected winner but he was glad for it. He would be chosen, hopefully.

Hopefully.

'Eren.' Erwin stated and Levi watched as Eren threw a sly smirk in his direction before scampering off to follow Erwin, who was already behind the door now. Levi had won yet he hadn't been chosen. It rarely happened. Today was different. It wasn't often that the winner was the most injured. Erwin didn't like the injured ones, that's why he chose the winner. He would fix them and then care for them, like the angel he was supposed to be.

He left the other in the dirt. It was clear enough when he focused on one, he no longer cared for the other. Levi didn't understand how he did it. Erwin saw the wider picture so vividly. He planned and he thought things through. He could predict feelings as well as actions. Maybe he wasn't an angel, maybe he was a god.

Levi was in love.

Eren was in love.

Erwin was not in love.

They fought over Erwin and he let them. He liked to watch the lessers fight, it made him feel more important. Not that Erwin needed that. His own self-confidence could sustain himself for more than a lifetime.

Erwin felt nothing for them. He took care of them like he was supposed to. He injured them like he wasn't. He taught them. He lessened them. He brought them confidence. And then, he stripped them of it.

Erwin was a contradiction. A perfect contradiction that worked in every way. He was a paradox. Levi seemed to be tied up in a lot of those lately. Looking down as his soaked through boots, he sighed. The rain from the day before dampened the ground and the water had trickled into his old boots. It seemed he would be left to himself for today. He guessed he would just make the most of it and hope that next time, Erwin would choose him.

-

Everyone has some evil in them, a partition of the devil's soul that gives them the capacity for bad. Everyone has the devil inside that drives them insane on dark nights and leads them on when the stars shine brightly.

Erwin was the man whose soul had been taken apart. His soul shined bright in the ones locked away and dim in those who walked the streets. He stripped people of their freedom and their lives. It was him.

People liked to believe that.

It wasn't true.

Erwin was just a man, as much as any other. He just saw more than the rest of them. He saw much more. He saw the intricacies of life but didn't meddle with them. People wanted to blame him because he saw it but witnessing and controlling are separated by no thin line. But, Erwin had a blind spot. It was himself.

Erwin was a man in love.

He just didn't know how to show it.

-

The world had never been bright for Eren or Levi. They saw in greys and blacks, white glimmers flashing as fast as punches to their jaws. Those glints were all that gave them hope. Both of them fought for what they thought was impossible because they knew that it was the only thing they had to fight for. They had lost everything and now they had found something.

Erwin was a white flash. One that lasted much longer than before. It hurt their eyes. It hurt their chests. Their hearts beat faster and their words became jumbled. They had never seen so much white before. They had never been this blinded. Their judgement had never been so muddled.

Their future was uncertain but it was clear that it was slight. They didn't have long left. Levi's rolls of paper, stuffed with tobacco and set alight, poisoned him from the inside out. His lungs were shrivelling and his throat closing up but he lived on. He told himself he would quit soon. Eren's continuous fights, dying from the outside in. The scrapes at his skin and the scars on his back, they were all leading to his death and he knew it. It only took a fight and a glint of metal for it to be he who was the next to die.

Their faces were broken, their minds too. Bells rang in their ears and their world flashed between black and white, flickering. Hope never lasted long but they had a constant source.

Love had shone a torch into their eyes. They didn't know what to do but shut their eyes and blindly stumble forward. They couldn't see any other choice. It was surprising that either of them said they believed in hell when they seemed so caught in it now.

They were in hell with the devil. The devil that loved them. The devil that they loved.

'Levi.' Erwin's voice sighed over the phone. Levi didn't answer. He didn't want to. Levi didn't often do things he didn't want to. 'Please, Levi.' Levi remained silent, he could only see black. 'I need to fix this.' A flash again. 'I've done something irreversible but it's not like me to give up on the impossible. I'm going to fix this but you need to be here.' Erwin spoke softly, softer than he ever had before. Something was askew. The previous menace was gone and Erwin was stripped down.

Levi realised he had never seen Erwin vulnerable.

This was his true vulnerability.

Levi wanted to witness it.

'I'll meet you but I refuse to go back to the brat's place. Come to mine.' Erwin gave an affirmative and hung up before Levi could attempt to pry. He would find out soon enough. There was no speech that indicated that Eren was involved but he doubted Erwin would turn up without Eren by his side. This was their day after all. Levi hadn't been chosen and had spent the remaining hours of the day moping. The call had changed that.

Levi was more confused than before.

Levi was tempted to ask Erwin not to bring Eren. He didn't like Eren, anyway. He was only there for the sake of competition. They had been friends once, he and Eren. It had lasted two years before they fell apart and went their separate ways. They joined again when Erwin told them both that he was dating the other. That had been a confusing reunion. Levi realised he couldn't. Eren was most likely involved in whatever Erwin had to talk about. Levi couldn't throw him aside. And, deep down, Levi knew that there wasn't only hatred towards Eren. He knew there was plenty but it didn't swallow his heart.

Eren tried to pretend he was worse than he was. Eren was generous and kind. He could barely mask it. His facade was thin and flimsy, Levi could see right through it. He hoped Erwin could too. As for Levi, he had to admit to himself that he wasn't all bad either. They liked to think of themselves as the worst of the worst but it was clear enough that they had tricked themselves.

They were more vulnerable than anyone. Without their masks, they were nothing more than a pool of tears on the bathroom floor. They protected themselves so much that they couldn't rely on their true selves.

They were weak, hidden by false strength.

A mind can do many things. Tricking itself into believing it was stronger than it really was was nothing far fetched. It was common, really. Levi and Eren had found themselves taking it too far. Erwin found himself exploiting it too much.

Erwin arrived exactly half an hour later in the same crisp suit as before, a simple mix of grey and white that proved his sophistication more than any words could. Eren stood behind him, stripped off his leather jacket but the rest of his outfit remaining the same- including the stained white v-neck that looked terrible on him and baggy jeans that were definitely not in style anymore. Levi let them in, his face remaining as passive as ever.

The two looked at his house, impressed. Levi made sure his house was spotless from top to bottom. He may have liked a good fight or two but in no way was he letting blood get into the cracks between the floorboards, that would be hell to remove.

He had priorities.

'You can sit down.' Levi invited, struggling to remain kind as the tension created a thick residue in the room. Erwin and Eren complied and went over to the sleek leather couch and sat themselves down, Erwin looking much more comfortable than Eren.

Levi realised, as he should have earlier, that Eren hadn't seen the house before. Eren had come over plenty before he had moved but he had never seen the new house, this was as foreign as a strangers house. And, despite Erwin's familiarity with the area, he still looked a bit out of place. Maybe it was his height. It tended to make him stick out rather a lot even if he wasn't all that tall. It was all relative. In comparison to both Levi and Eren, he was a skyscraper next to a hut.

Levi tried not to think about it as he fell back into an armchair, the same black leather material as the sofa. He may not have been a decorator but he did pride himself on the warm yet modern interior he had managed to achieve. He didn't earn much- only working part time as a barista and getting a few extra coins from street fights and small, organised crime deals- but he had made the cheap furniture look much less tacky than it did in the shop and at the least, he didn't look as skint as he was.

It was no secret that Erwin had money and he would rather not scrounge off of him.

'What did you want to talk about then?' Levi still had his guard up and regarded the other two with disdain at their rather vulnerable state. Levi couldn't help but awe, though. Erwin, he looked gentler and kind. The maniacal smirk had been replaced with a warm, yet timid, smile. His features softened and he didn't look as if he were studying university maths or brooding about things bigger than life.

It was as refreshing as it was scary.

Eren, on the other hand, looked downright terrifying. Which, in hindsight, maybe wasn't so vulnerable as it was a bit creepy. His green eyes were as wide as the sun and he was looking at anything but the two people surrounding him. He hadn't seen this before since they were...since they were children.

Eren didn't get scared. He faced everything head on. He was determined, stubborn and strong-willed. It wasn't a good combination but did him well in the underground running of the city. Criminal levels weren't all too high in the city but it could be said that some corruption was evident.

Eren, after so many years of doing rather violent odd jobs, had stopped being scared. It was as simple as that. There was no need to be scared. Just as there was no need to feel. There was no need for anything but to get the job done and get paid.

It was no way to live.

They did so anyway.

'I want to say something and this may take a while. I don't want to be interrupted because I know you're going to try and before I begin...I'm sorry. For everything. This probably seems weird, seeing me like this. I haven't let go like this in, I don't know, years? This all might be too much but I'm trying anyway. I'm trying so hard because it's the only way this will work.' Levi nodded silently, adding no words. He didn't need to, they both understood that.

Erwin looked at Eren who nodded slowly before turning his attention back to Levi. 'I've already said all this to Eren so don't expect any reactions from him. This one is for you and you alone. This situation is complex, Levi and I don't want that. There's three of us so I don't think it's possible to make this simple but...we can do this better than we are doing now. What we're doing isn't right. None of what we do is right. I'm a corrupt lawyer who's fallen in love with two different men. I love you, Levi. I want to say that because I know you don't believe it. But, I love Eren just as much.' Erwin paused and took a deep breath before pushing on.

'Both of you are criminals. You're both ruined in your own way. And don't take offence in that because, in my mind, I'm the most ruined of us all. I made you fight. For me. Not verbally but physically. I caused you both harm just so I could feel something. I didn't realise until it was too late that what I was feeling from watching you was nothing good. I never thought I would fall in love, Levi. Never. I wasn't that type of man. If I did, I thought it would always be with a woman. And, look at me now. Not only do I love a man but two. I'm messed up. But, getting to the point, I want this to stop. The fighting, any form of it. I want a real relationship. I want normal...or as normal as is possible with us. I want something more than lust. I want to love and be loved. Eren and I have already agreed on something but I want to know what you think. Do you want normal? Or...' Erwin paused as if the words were too painful to choke out.

'Do you want to leave?'

Levi gaped at Erwin. What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to say anything? Erwin was the one who could read a situation, not Levi. But, he found himself wrong once again. Erwin couldn't. He wouldn't ask otherwise.

Erwin wasn't the devil nor was Erwin an angel.

Erwin was human.

'I don't want to leave.' Levi found that that was enough. That was all he needed to say. There was nothing more to it.

'I was hoping you would say that.'

-

Levi and Eren were both filled with darkness. But, as time went on, they realised something. It didn’t matter if all they could see was black and white because Erwin was there and Erwin was the brightest white they had ever seen.

We all have a devil inside.

It’s just a matter of whether you use it.


	4. Blessure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The facts in this are most likely historically wrong as I only used the French Revolution as a prompt and did little research.

Paris, France.

1793.

Levi heaved out his lungs as the dust choked him. The house must have been abandoned for years. The thick white layer covered the floor to the ceiling. The wooden panels were revealed from under the peeling wallpaper and the floorboards creaked with every step he took.

It was empty, though. That was all he needed.

The revolution, he thought, was far from over. He needed somewhere to hide. This would do. It fell just out of Paris, still close enough to be claimed as part of the city but far enough away that it would not become canon fodder, courtesy of the army.

He wasn't needed, not yet. It would be a long journey when he was, just as it was a long journey to get out of here. But, he was needed away from the action- his skills much better used in the final battle than the ones leading up to it. If, that was, there ever was a final battle. Erwin had followed suit. As leader of their segment, he couldn't be at the forefront of the battle. Despite his strength, that was not how he fought. They needed a tactical leader and Erwin was just that with a mind of the utmost intelligence- and, much to many's dismay- an aristocrat.

Levi just sighed now when another death threat came to Erwin. It was nothing new. The lower ranks were dumb and as useful as a bunch of pigs, in Levi's opinion. They didn't realise what having an aristocrat on their side meant. Erwin knew the ways of the king as much as the royals himself, he had been ranked high and had been inside the palace more times than he could count. He knew the king. He knew the king's plans. He knew everything they needed.

That did not explain, though, why Erwin had not sent him out alone. Levi was their asset, their strongest soldier, surviving battle after battle without so much as an injury. They didn't know whether it was his ability with a gun or sheer luck. Eren, on the other hand, was rather useless.

Having just turned sixteen, he was a naive kid. He knew what he wanted and he fought for it. He had grown up, similar to Levi, in nothing better than the mud of the streets and it had bred a fearful determination within him.

Yet, the kid still couldn't fire a gun and hit.

Erwin, for some daft reason, had thought that Levi would do good in training the child. 'We need people like Eren.' He had stated, his face as composed and determined as ever. 'He has the determination of a bull and with you by his side, he could be one of our best fighters. We have too many people dying, Levi. We need some trained soldiers.' Levi had nodded, as obedient as ever, and taken the kid by his side.

Levi tried to ignore the ever-present presence behind him, walking alongside his shadow. The only thing that told Levi he was there at all was the echoing second pair of footsteps and the odd sensation of eyes staring at the back of his head.

'Pourquoi me suivez-vous, sale gosse?' Why are you following me, brat? His thick accent indiscernible to anyone that wasn't Eren, the boy had spent far too much time with him. The boy stopped, the footsteps making a sudden halt, bringing up more dust that Levi could have thought there was.

'Pardon.' He muttered before scampering off to god knows where. Levi let out a breath, feeling far more peaceful with the lingering presence gone. It didn't lift his spirits enough to accept the state of the house, though. It may have been abandoned but it was clear enough that the people who had lived here before hadn't cleaned either. Years worth of dirt, muck and dust had gathered. Levi already knew that there was little point in him trying to clean it.

Levi's exploration of the house lasted as long as a minute before he joined Eren in the main room. Their luggage had been left by the door, not that there was much of it anyway, but Levi quickly opened his own suitcase and brought the one thing that had added any weight to the case. A rifle, one regularly used by the army- stolen, no doubt. Without warning, Levi lifted the heavy weapon and threw it at the boy lying on the sofa. It landed with a heavy thud and a pained groan was strained from Eren's mouth. 'What...' He didn't have time to further his question when Levi ordered him outside. At least, Levi found, Eren was good at following orders.

Eren stood up alert and practically marched outside, the gun only an inch from scraping against the wooden floor. Levi would have warned him to be careful if the house was in any better state.

The back door took some beating before it opened but with a final collision with Levi's foot, the wood opened with a bang, hitting the stone exterior and releasing another cloud of dust. Levi wasn't sure how he was supposed to rectify the cleanliness situation, it was turning more and more disastrous each and every time another door was opened.

Eren was the first to go out, meeting the breeze with a gentle smile. Levi could see the glimmer of fear in his eyes regardless. Eren had always been on guard around Levi. Despite the evident admiration he held, the boy was just that: a boy. Levi didn't know why he would be the scared one, though, he was the one with a gun in his hands. Then again, even from this proximity- no further than a metre- Eren could still easily miss.

Levi found himself wondering how Erwin had found a soldier so bad.

How had this kid survived on the streets?

'Shoot then.' Levi ordered, not sure what else he was supposed to do. Eren regarded him with a confused look and let the gun hit the floor, covering the tip with mud. Levi sighed, he would have to clean that.

'Shoot what?' He asked but Levi just shrugged.

'How am I supposed to know, brat? Just shoot.' Levi clearly had never taught someone before. Eren, his eyebrows still furrowed in befuddlement, raised his gun and aimed at a tree. The bark, years old and thick, would have held up well against a bullet and Levi silently praised the boy for not being so stupid as to try and hit the grass.

Not that the bark had to take any damage. Eren missed. And then again. And again. It took long enough to reload and Levi had been standing around for twenty minutes watching the kid fumble with the equipment. It was a waste of bullets but Levi didn't know what else to do.

He left.

'Where are you going?' Eren called out suddenly as another bullet flew off into the unknown. Maybe, by some magic, it would hit an animal and they would have some proper food. Their supply was minimal and mostly consisted of mouldy fruit. Although, Levi had lived off less before.

'Cleaning, kid. Continue, you need it.' He muttered before stalking inside and gathering an old cloth from his bag and running it under the only water source which came from the dirty lake outside. But, it would have to do. Fresh water was something Levi had been given very few times and he didn't have time to try and filter it, he would be going until well into the night then. He needed to rest. When he was to return, he had to be at full strength. That meant as much sleep as he could get whilst the kid snored from the other side of the bed and as much of a balanced diet as was possible with their budget. Which was one man's wealth, Erwin's, shared among dozens of men. Consequently leading to not much.

Levi scrubbed away at the crime, starting on the large surfaces- tables and cabinets- rubbing them with a wet cloth. Years of dirt wouldn't come away that easily but it, at least, removed the top layer and revealed a much lighter colour still hidden underneath. Vehemently, he continued to scrub. As the larger surfaces got to some sort of respectable level, Levi went to the small things- vases, decorations, etc. But, before he could even begin, Eren was running in, panting. It had been an hour, maybe he was taking a break. Levi sighed, Eren would only ruin his work. But, giving up entirely as Eren traipsed more mud into the house, Levi rolled down his sleeves and clicked out the crooks in his back from leaning over for so long.

Levi turned to look at the boy, who was looking at the floor with as much vigour as a lost puppy. It looked utterly hopeless. With Levi's eyes set on him, though, his head snapped up, a look of determination slowly beginning to form again.

'Levi, I need help. I still can't hit a thing and you know how to all you have to do is show me how or maybe move me into position but then again, I don't even know if...' he rambled on until Levi cut him off with a cough. Purposefully patronising.

'Eren, I'm not going to be of any help. Just try again.' Levi, rolling up his sleeves again, tries to return to his work, soaking the wooden floor where he had found a patch of what looked like oil. If he stayed down there long enough, maybe Eren would leave. It wasn't as if the oil patch would leave, he could scrub forever and it would remain ingrained to the floors.

Eren, more determined than ever, glared down at the man beneath him. He swept down, grabbing the cloth from Levi in a hissy fit and loomed over the man, even when Levi stood up, glaring. Eren was growing taller and looked down at the man with ease.

'Watch what you're doing, brat.' Levi warned, his eyes turning a shade darker as he craned his neck to look up at the boy, meeting the boy with the most level-headed look he could muster.

'Why, Levi? Am I interrupting your cleaning? Oh, how disastrous. Do you even realise what you are doing?!' Eren raised his voice, taking another minuscule step forward, their faces inching closer and closer together, nothing between them but the crackling tension and their breath.

Eren took a deep breath before speaking again, his voice distinctively calmer. 'Erwin sent me here to train under you. You're the best fighter. You're here because Erwin thinks, god knows why, that you shouldn't be used until the end. And, whilst you're here, he wants me to learn and for that to happen, Levi, you have to teach me! Please! All I have to do is be told what to do and I can do it!' Eren's voice got louder and louder, a crescendo ending not far from a shout.

'I'm not a teacher, Eren. I can't teach nor do I want to teach, you especially. Now give that back and get out.' Levi threatened, his eyes forming thin, sharp lines and his mouth curving into an ugly grimace.

Eren took a step back, threatened. He knew that if he wanted to, Levi could knock him out cold. They had both grown up on the streets but it had been set since the beginning that not only had Levi got more experience, his streets had been a lot, lot worse. Eren stormed out, his mind running faster than his body as he stumbled on his way out. Levi resisted the urge to laugh at Eren's flushed face before the door was slammed in his face.

Levi choked on the dust.

Next job, doors.

-

Levi woke up the next morning with Eren out of sight. There was only one bed in the house and the only other reasonable place to sleep was the floor but seeing as there were only two rooms, the main room and a bedroom, and Levi could not hear Eren snoring or stomping, he must have been outside.

He better not have slept there. Levi would rather not have to explain to Erwin how Eren had died on his watch, from the cold and not weaponry especially.

Stretching slowly, his limbs looking oddly parallel to that of a cat's, he found his way out of the small bed, his muscles sore from the uncomfortable material. Maybe sleeping on the floor would have been better. Then again, having his ears near the floor maybe would disturb him more than it was worth. He was sure, at this point, that Eren's snores vibrated through the floor. Although, that had been the old building. But this place's design was not too far different.

Levi placed his feet on the floor one by one, the pads of his feet causing tremors of cold to run through him as they hit the icy wood. Pulling his shoes on immediately, he stood up, grabbing a few articles of clothing to pull over his underwear before leaving the room.

As he suspected, Eren was not in the main room either but from here, he could hear much louder what was going on. What he had originally had assumed was rain battering at the walls, not uncommon for September, had turned out to be gunfire. Eren was practicing this early, Levi thought with surprise. Erwin had been right, Eren really did have some determination. The sun was barely up, just peeking over the horizon.

Levi stalked outside, glad that he wasn't going to get soaked- though, the clouds in the distance looked rather dark. Eren was shooting at the same tree, missing once, twice. And then, still having not noticed Levi, it hit.

Levi resisted the urge to gasp as Eren whooped and dropped the gun to identify the mark he had made. 'Good work, kid.' Levi complimented as he leaned against the wall, glad that his clothing was thick enough that he didn't feel the cold digging into his back.

Eren jumped, flinging himself around with the grace of an elephant. 'Levi!' He gasped. 'I didn't see you.' He looked wary, assessing Levi from top to bottom, trying to read his body language. 'I did good, right?' He tried, maybe trying to pass off as not afraid as he was. If that was the case, he was failing.

Levi just nodded, not feeling up to congratulating him again. The kid didn't deserve it. Whoop-dee-doo, he hit the target once. Good for him.

'Um, Levi?' He approached carefully, taking it one step at a time as if at any moment Levi would run off and never return. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't far off doing so. He'd be damned if he cared enough about the war to stay over his own contentment. Levi followed orders, not his own passions.

'Yes, brat?' He sighed, giving Eren permission to speak. He needed it.

'I wanted to...to apologise for yesterday. I was out of line, you're my superior and...I shouldn't have done what I did. It was wrong. I was just angry because Erwin sent me away and I really wanted to fight those bastards but no, here I am. All because I'm not even good enough to shoot a gun.' Eren stared down at his shoes, a momentary lapse in rationality as he talked himself into self-consciousness.

'You shouldn't have but you're still wrong. Erwin didn't send you out here because you can't even shoot, though I say that if by the end of this you can then that's a plus, it's because you have the potential. You're passionate, Eren. You're not going to die with a fight, that's the kind of soldier he wants.' He missed out the additional, a soldier that isn't like me.

Eren nodded, looking slightly more determined. Levi was glad to see it back, he wasn't good at comforting. The best he could do was point out why the other person was being an idiot and how wrong they were. Although apparently, in this case, that was all that was needed.

'Now, kid. Hit it again.' He ordered, folding his arms and watching as Eren straightened his gun and aimed again. Better stance, Levi noted with an inkling of a smile. It was the best Eren would get out of Levi. Or anyone, for that matter.

As expected, he didn't hit it again but he was improving and Levi was glad to see it. Levi didn't want to delve into why he felt that, he shouldn't have cared less. But, for now, he did. That was all he needed to know. Nothing more, nothing less. But, if anyone asked, he would deny it with his life.

That didn't matter, though. People would see through him. Levi wasn't all that good at hiding his emotions. The only reason he was so straight faced was because he had little emotions at all. He had turned them off a long time.

But, maybe they were turning on again?

-

After that night, Eren returned to bed and Levi had never brought up where Eren had stayed that night he was alone. He thought better of it. Eren wasn't ill, that was all that mattered. Sadly though, Eren was tending to sneeze a lot more and even if it was not often enough for it to be serious, it was creating far too many germs for Levi to attempt going near him.

Days passed and despite the sneezing, Levi did find himself watching over the cerulean-eyed boy. The gun was noisy and Levi found even on the days he didn't want to watch, he was drawn out by the loud bangs.

There was something painfully familiar about the sound that drew him out. He wasn't sure whether it was the familiarity or the memories it brought that drew him outside but nevertheless, he watched over Eren, his steel-eyes taking into account how his positioning changed over time and the gun looked more settled into his hands. He was beginning to look like a soldier.

'Chin up, your aim will be off.' Levi called out from his place on the wall, two foot imprints on the floor showing how often he had been standing there. Even the rain wasn't enough to wash them away.

Eren took Levi's information into account with a smile. He would never say it but Levi had grown into his role as a tutor rather well. The man's steady head and glaring gaze were perfect when it came to his obedience. He learnt quickly. Three days after the argument, he was beginning to hit the target about a quarter of the time. Although the target was stationary, he wasn't exactly going to ask Levi to be his target. He shuddered at the thought of his face in the mud if he ever brought it up.

The day passed quickly and with another apple in their stomachs for dinner, they slept and woke again at the usual time. They found themselves up earlier than ever before, the sun not even up in the sky. But, oddly enough, they felt well rested. Eren hadn't snored (Levi wasn't sure what had changed) and the curtains hadn't let the usual moonlight flutter through. It must have been the clouds, they thought- they're paths of mind almost congruous.

'Out.' Levi ordered as soon as Eren had his clothing arranged properly. Levi would never let him go out to train without his outfit being impeccable first. Eren didn't have the guts to ask why. Levi didn't have the guts to tell.

Soon enough, his gun was raised and he was aiming at the tree again. 'Left foot back.' Levi called out and Eren smiled. Levi may not have known it but he had become Eren's tutor. He still denied it profusely, saying he was simply stating the obvious. And maybe he was but wasn't that often what a tutor did? Eren, once again, didn't point it out.

The days passed quicker now as they fell into a routine. It had been between two and three weeks since they had left and Eren's improvement was rapid. He could hit it almost every time now and despite the tree being a large, still object, it set him up for at least shooting down the barricades.

Erwin had been clever enough to realise that the other groups' tactics of shooting and hoping to kill would not be good enough. They needed a better plan and so Erwin had come up with the current plan. Even if it was hard with only guns on their side, if they could damage the barricades enough, they would fall and the army could be shot down far easier and although that would not always work, for now, it had been working in their favour.

The battles still raged on day and night but something was happening.

They were progressing.

That was more than they had ever dreamed of.

It was exactly a month after they had arrived that Eren was hitting the target every time. A smile still spread across Eren's face every time he hit it, even if it was common, and their training sessions were becoming shorter and shorter.

For each piece of praise Eren received, Levi could see him become the subject of admiration more and more. He tried to ignore it. It was sweet, really, but there was no time to look up to people in a time like this. People that weren't leaders, that was. Follow orders and die for your side was Levi's motto. He would never expect to make it out the other side alive. The chances were so low with how much he fought.

Eren's was far different. He was young. He believed he could survive. He believed that he would live in the aftermath. He didn't realise he could only create it. Maybe Eren would survive, Levi thought suddenly. The kid had a determination no one could rival and every day he was seeing it more. Levi wouldn't be surprised if Eren survived a couple shots to the chest.

But that was just a fantasy. Eren was mortal, just like the rest of them. It was disappointing, really. Immortality would have made his life story far more interesting.

'Good work, Eren.' He complimented before going back inside, Eren tailing behind him, wiping his shoes outside the door as to not get mud on the mopped floor. He was picking up good habits, Levi was glad to see.

That night, they both fell asleep quickly. They had forgotten the outside world, just for a little bit. They had their own little peace. Levi found himself thinking of Erwin often, how he was, what he was doing. Yet, it never seemed to bring forth memories of the revolution. If anything, it brought more peace and Levi didn't quite understand why.

Erwin was his rock, he understood that. He trusted Erwin with his life. He followed orders with little questioning because he understood that Erwin was more intelligent. He understood that he would be sacrificed if that was what it took to win. He applauded Erwin for that. It was why he liked him.

To him, all humans were expendable. Except Erwin Smith. And, maybe that was what made him so important to Levi.

-

The night was a blur, a kerfuffle of blearily stumbling around the unlit room and falling back asleep. Eren had been snoring again, to Levi's discomfort, and he doubted that it had let him have much more than two hours of sleep.

He would live, though. He had lived off less before.

That had become a motto as of late, he found. As life went on, he realised that in comparison to what he had before, he was living a life of luxury. What must the king be living in was a thought that hit him often. If he was lucky enough to be living in a two bedroom shack, he couldn't quite imagine what the king was getting.

He only knew what he had been told. He had never worked for the king nor had anyone he knew. The details were either rumours or Erwin's, often almost bias, recollections.

As Levi found himself in the main room for the fifth time that night, the sun was finally beginning to rise. At last, he thought with a sigh. He didn't think he could face trying to let sleep succumb him again. It was unnatural at this point and was hardly going to bode well with him. A nap now would only leave him groggier and slow.

A knock on the door broke him from his thoughts, loud and sharp. Urgent. Levi blinked the sleep away and hastily pulled on something acceptable and answered the door with his usual nonchalance. He had become adept at hiding his fear.

The man at the door was no one he had seen before but the attire and the letter in his hand said it all. 'I am here on Erwin Smith's behalf. I have been told to give this to you.' The man stated no more as he handed over the letter a fled before Levi could say anything. In times like these, it was for the best. Who knew what would happen if you were to find yourself milling around the opposition.

Levi shut the door with a harsh slam, dust still evident but no longer choking him in a hazy cloud. At least he knew some of his work paid off. Unfurling the crippled letter in his hands, he began to read, preferring to remain standing. By the time Eren came into the room, he had reached the end and was staring blankly at the ground, inspecting the spiders that crawled beneath them, refraining from stamping on them with an unjust vengeance.

'What's that?' Eren asked, nodding his head to the hand which held Erwin's letter. Levi clutched it harder, the paper close to crumbling under the pressure.

'A letter from Erwin.' Levi stated simply, in no mood to talk more. Especially not to an excitable teenager.

'What does it say!' Eren shouted jovially, gesturing for Levi to hand it over. Levi did, his own words would be lost on Eren, it was better for the boy to read it himself.

'We're going back, Levi! I finally get to fight!' He shouted as he skimmed over the letter. Eren wasn't a skilled reader but he could pick up enough words to get the gist.

'Yes, you do.' Levi said no more, grasping his nose between two fingers, taking slow, purposeful breaths. They were going back. Levi shouldn't have been so fearful but the letter stated very clearly why it was they had to go back.

They had lost almost all their soldiers.

Erwin's strategy had been compromised and with it, soldiers fell. Dozens. Levi and Eren were required simply because of the loss of people. At this point, they wouldn't be part of a final battle. They were going to die and going to die soon.

Levi wasn't sure whether Eren was an optimist or just unable to read what was written so clearly. He didn't say anything, though. He let the kid be happy. It might be the last time he experienced it. Levi wanted to smile, be happy again but the fear was all too crippling. It didn't matter anyway, he hadn't smiled in a long time.

'Pack up, kid. We're leaving as soon as possible.' They didn't have time to spare. Levi wanted to get back before the inevitable. He would not leave Erwin to die alone. Nor would he leave Eren behind. They would return side by side, two of the best soldiers and they would make Erwin proud, going down with a fight. And maybe, just maybe, they would make a lasting difference on the situation.

By the time their belongings were stuffed back in the cases, Levi felt ill. He had overthought things. It couldn't be as bad as he imagined. Or could it? He didn't know. That was what he feared so much. He had placed his trust in Erwin to keep the situation under control and now, here he was, being called back with a subtle urgency. What was he supposed to think?

He was to return when he was needed. But, he wasn't needed. Someone was needed. Not him. But he would return anyway. Erwin needed him; he trusted Erwin. He trusted him with his life. And, he believed Eren felt the same.

He and Eren had come by foot, a long, arduous trip but they had no other means of transportation so, with no hesitance on complaints, they trudged back to the centre of Paris, unsure of just how bad the situation could be.

-

When Eren and Levi returned, their base was silent. Underneath their heavy feet, the floorboards creaked filling the silence with unbearable tension. They were to go where they always went to, Erwin's headquarters: a private room near the back of the household that he used as a strategy room.

It wasn't far and even Levi was too tense to see the layers of grime he was treading over. The door was already open when they arrived, revealing a stressed Erwin holding his head in his hands. A position of defeat.

At the sound of the two men, he looked up- seemingly startled. The bags under his eyes were larger than ever and he had finally stopped being able to conceal the wrinkles around his eyes- revealing something closer to his true age than either thought was possible. Like Levi, Erwin had been mistaken for younger than he was on multiple occasions.

'Erwin.' Levi addressed calmly, an introduction of sorts.

'I'm going to get to the point, Levi. There's no need for pleasantries. Almost all of our soldiers have died. Even I'm needed now and tomorrow morning, I will leave with you too. We have lost. But, I need us to fight until the end. But,' a long pause. Levi didn't begin to question what was about to be said, it was better just to wait. 'Eren,' he addressed, staring the boy down with his ice-blue eyes. 'You're young. You don't have to die now. I know Levi, he will die happily now but you, you shouldn't have to do that. Find another group, join them. Help them. They need you.' It was an order, wasn't it?

'Sir, I refuse.' Eren stated with as much calm as Levi had introduced himself with. Levi looked at the boy, watching the cerulean eyes filled with determination. He couldn't say he was shocked, of course Eren wouldn't go down without a fight.

'Eren, it wasn't a request.' Erwin sighed, raking his fingers through his disfigured hair.

'I know, Sir. I still refuse. I will fight alongside you. Even if I die trying.' Levi searched the boy for any sign of fear. He found none. Eren really was a weapon, one that didn't deserve to die now. Not ever. He should have been immortal.

But maybe his mortality was what made the story interesting in the end.

Erwin looked resigned, he had thrown enough soldiers to the dust already. He didn't want to do it again. But, this was Eren's choice and Erwin realised that he would most likely be dead before he could feel the guilt.

'It's your life, Eren. I will respect that. But, please, think this over. Levi and I must talk anyway.' Eren nodded, realising his cue to leave and rushed out, his eyebrows drawn together as if in thought. Levi knew, though, that Eren had already made up his mind.

Left in a peaceful silence, Levi approached Erwin's desk and took a seat opposite on a small, rickety stool that had been stashed away in the corner, most likely to never be used again. Erwin smiled wanly as he watched Levi's feet dangle, unable to touch the ground. Levi's height had always been a source of amusement, he found, even if it was rather rude to laugh at it.

'Levi, the offer is there for you too. I know you don't care about the outcome as much of the rest of us but I know you want the lower classes to rise. You've seen what poverty does.' Levi nodded but didn't speak. 'I want you to know, if you want to leave now, please do. I am not ready to have anyone flee. It's fight or die trying at this point.' Levi nodded again, this time raising his head to lock eyes with his leader.

'Erwin, I know what you're trying to do. But, I have my reasons for being here as does everyone- those who are left, that is. I'm staying and I'm fighting. I know it will mean my death but I've lived long enough.' Erwin looked thankful. Levi was, after all, his best fighter and the more soldiers that died tomorrow, the better.

'Whose left?' Levi didn't want to know but he felt he needed to.

'Petra, Olou, Erd and Gunther. Then, just me, you and Eren.' Levi didn't think he'd even heard of this much death to the disease that had plagued his childhood town. Nonetheless, he nodded again. He trusted his movements far more than his words at this point. Erwin was the one who trusted his words far more than his actions.

'I'm sorry it came to this.' Levi apologised after another minute of silence.

'It doesn't matter. I did my part, I never thought I would make it to the end. Although, I did think I would more likely be caught than shot. I'll take it, though.' Erwin chuckled darkly. Wrong place, wrong time. Yet, feeling Erwin laugh brought a comfort to Levi that nothing had before. It felt like something he had refused to have for years. Home. He didn't think why, he didn't want to think why. There was no need to think why.

He only wondered when Erwin had become that for him.

He only wondered when Eren had become that for him.

That night, none of them slept. Eren took to the floor, a snore never coming from his mouth- he was never asleep enough to do so. Erwin took the armchair, his head lolled back but his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling like it would be his last time. It probably would be.

But, who knew, maybe he and Levi were just pessimists? But then why wasn't Eren asleep?

Levi was the one to take the bed, not that it was a bed, really. A bunch of hay that had been pulled in from the streets had been laid across the floor. He slept like an animal, as he had for most of his life.

The bed didn't make a difference. Between insomnia and fear, he didn't sleep a wink. He watched the breaths of his friends, how the air clouded as the water vapour left their mouths. It was cold, freezing even and the woollen blankets were doing little for their warmth.

He watched their chests rise up and down. He wouldn't see that tomorrow, would he? Even if he did, would he see it the day after? Probably not. He looked at Eren. Maybe that boy would survive with his iron determination and the eyes of a soldier. His eyes raked over Erwin. The master of strategy, not fighting. He could pull the trigger, Levi knew that, Erwin would have no hesitance. But, that didn't help him. He could be dead in minutes.

Levi knew, though, that by the time they were dead, they would leave dozens of dead soldiers in their wake.

-

The trip to the barricades the next day was made in silence. It wasn't as if they wanted to talk anyway for fear of getting caught. It was unlikely but Levi's face, in particular, had become well-known amongst the army and if he was sighted, he would be shot on sight. The others too for being in his company.

They made it without trouble for what it was worth and met with the few remaining soldiers left. Petra, Olou, Erd and Gunther met them at the base, behind them a stack of old wood piled higher than anyone thought was possible. Erwin had made sure that they had a strong barricade before anything had happened. It hadn't helped, in the end.

Eren paused as Erwin and Levi greeted the rest. 'Is this all of them?' He whispered, his voice weak and quiet. He almost sounded like the child he was supposed to be. Erwin was the first to turn, his face downcast.

'Yes, Eren. Mikasa and Armin, they didn't make it. They died with mercy.' He lied. Armin had been shot in the chest and in that case, he had been lucky enough to die painlessly. Mikasa, she had bled out. Her stomach had been hit. Erwin didn't have the guts to say. Eren had grown up with the pair and had clung onto them dearly, promising that they when he returned and they had done their bit in the fight, they would go to the sea as they had always wanted.

Their dream was now just that: a dream.

Eren nodded and pressed no further. He would rather not know. Levi approached the boy, the determination diminished but still far stronger than any other person here, and rested his hand upon his shoulder. No words were exchanged; no words were needed.

Erwin stayed away. He had watched them die. Eren clearly wanted someone as oblivious as he was. Instead, Erwin focused on the others, telling them the basis of his plan. Not that he really had one. He had to make something up, though. He had to at least let them pretend they were going to live.

Petra, smiling as ever, put her input in and Erwin accepted it. They often debated about his strategies and he usually came out victorious. He didn't have the energy today. She seemed to understand and quickly backed off. They all knew what was happening. Their numbers had dwindled to seven and Erwin was fighting when he never had before.

They were going to die or flee. For all their sakes, Erwin hoped no one would flee. They would only be caught. Capture would lead to a far worse death than a bullet. 'Prepare, everyone. If the last few days have been anything to go by, they will be here by the time we see the sun.' The barricade blocked the sunset, they wouldn't see the sun until ten at the earliest. Orders were obeyed quickly and everyone rushed to grab a gun and took their place in the barricade: Erd, Olou and Gunther at the top, Petra dead centre, Levi and Eren to the left and Erwin to the right.

They waited, passing stories before they died. If one of them survived, they could carry everyone's stories with them, they all trusted that. They would not die forgotten. They had family, they had friends and they had each other. They all knew their deaths were approaching, few having any vague hope of survival. They knew what the army was doing, bombarding them day after day until there was none of them left. Picking people off would only create larger groups. They weren't as dumb as so many thought.

On the left side of the barricade, hidden behind layers of wood, Eren clutched to Levi's shoulder, fearfully looking through the gaps. For all the determination the kid had once had, it was replaced with just as much fear. Seeing it for yourself could do that to you. Maybe it was his friend's death, maybe it was the dawning realisation of death, Levi didn't want to ask.

'Levi, I'm scared.' Eren admitted, his voice trembling as much as his frail muscles.

'I know you are, kid. But,' he took a deep breath, 'if anyone is making it out alive, it's going to be-' He was cut off by the gunfire. Levi looked up, the sun was in the sky. Erwin had been right.

'You. Now let's shoot.' Levi finished, loading his gun and aiming it through the hole in the wood and then, without hesitation, he shot.

Erd and Gunther were the first to fall, being in the most vulnerable position. Both had been shot in the chest and had collapsed onto the ground far below. Even if they had survived the shot, the fall would have knocked them out and they would be dead soon enough.

Olou was next, being just below the two fallen. Then, Petra. A shot to the stomach. Just like Mikasa, she bled out slowly. The others were too scared to notice. It only left Erwin, Eren and Levi. The three survivors.

The ones that had been expected to survive.

And then, as if in slow motion, a bullet shot through the wood and right into Erwin's left arm. The cry was loud enough to draw Eren's attention as Levi continued to fire at the falling soldiers. They were dropping like flies, even if it took so long to reload.

'Erwin!' Eren cried out, about to stand to help. Levi held him back, one hand holding the gun up and the other holding Eren back. He couldn't aim right but it would at least keep the soldiers ducking for cover.

Levi's arm tired quickly, he wouldn't be able to continue anyway. He was running out of bullets. Eren already had, firing like a madman. He had killed, though, he had done well. Levi, with a final shot, let Eren go. The boy ran down frantically and clambered up as skilfully as he could to were Erwin was injured.

'Get under cover!' Levi ordered, taking role of leader. Erwin was in no state to do so. Eren hauled Erwin down the barricade and to the bottom where the wood was thickest, nothing but canon fire could break through now and from what Levi had seen, they hadn't brought any. It was too much to kill so few.

Levi followed suit and buried himself on the right side of Erwin, Eren sitting down to his left. A man on either side. He took a few deep, shaky breaths and tried to calm his racing heart. But, how could he? He was as good as dead. Unless he ran but he wouldn't. Not unless he was ordered too.

The gunfire stopped as they fell out of sight, leaving the three men's ears ringing loudly. They didn't care, it had become familiar now. Almost comforting if they ignored the pain. Erwin was trembling, his arm bleeding profusely, soaking the cloth that Eren had wrapped around him- he had ripped the bottom of his shirt of, Levi realised as he turned to the younger man. Yes, after this, Eren had earned his title as a man. He had killed without remorse, he had fought, he deserved it.

The gunfire would return soon, trying to break down the weak points in the barricade. But, for now, they took the time to enjoy the silence, only filled with their shaky breaths and trembling.

They weren't going to make it, were they? But, they had known that since the beginning.

Levi watched the blood run through the cloth on Erwin's arm. Blessure. It was the french word for wound. A beautiful sounding word for such an ugly thing. Levi almost laughed, it sounded so similar to the english word pleasure. Maybe it was a pleasure. Maybe death was what they all needed to escape this hell.

Levi looked straight again, feeling queasy at the sight of the pools of red. The other bodies were above them, except for one. Gunther lay at Levi's feet. Levi didn't bother to move him, simply watching the dead eyes as they bore into his.

With resignation, Levi let his arms go limp, his palms facing the sky. He looked up to the sky, watching the incoming rain clouds. It was going to rain again, he wondered if he would ever see it.

Then, as if it were natural, a hand found his. Eren's, smooth and young. Interlocking their fingers as if it would keep them alive. And then, on his other side, a calloused hand found his, following suit by intertwining their fingers. A silent promise of survival, no matter how impossible it was.

Erwin spoke softly, he was so close to death already. It wouldn't be a surprise if he had caught an infection through the wound but he was more likely to bleed out than die of infection. It had hit an artery, no doubt. 'We're not going to let them be forgotten. I can't do that to them. We're going to survive.' A pause, a pair of eyes watched Erwin carefully, one grey and another blue. 'Even if we have to run.'

 


	5. Short #1: Revenge

'Levi, who told you that was a good idea?' Erwin looked down. His face didn't move, remaining as cold as stone except for the slight raising of his eyebrow. Levi didn't say anything, holding the eye-contact as if it was keeping his heart beating. Tension crackled in the charged air, neither moved their positions. Stuck in a battle of wills, they remained as they were- in silence.

'I did.' Spit reached Erwin's newly cleaned and ironed shirt, courtesy of his wife- Levi still felt bitter about that. Oh, what a cruel fate she had been dealt with. It had been long since she had believed Erwin was cheating on her and they were already separated but with the whole situation new, they were still living together and apparently his wife had been generous to iron his shirt one more time.

Or, he could have just paid someone to do it. Levi wouldn't be all that surprised.

'You did?' Erwin didn't move his ice blue eyes. He pressured down on Levi, his perfectly groomed hair not moving a strand out of place as he leant in and rested his lips less than a few centimetres from Levi's own.

'Uh-huh. And I'm not changing him.' The eyes as grey as guns budged, not leaving Erwin's but enough for Erwin to take advantage of Levi's weaker position. He was faltering, Erwin was winning.

The door slammed open, quick and unexpected, bringing with it a windswept teenager and some dirty trainers on the vacuumed carpet. 'Oh. My. God!' Eren screamed upon the sight, running up to Levi and immediately bringing his hands up to the glowing object fixed underneath his hands. 'This looks TERRIBLE!' Eren laughed, staring in amazement at the vibrant neon green that his fingers seemed to enjoy reflecting. 'Erwin, did you do this? It was a dare, right?' Eren looked like a child who had just been thrown a bag of candy. This was the highlight of his day: the best dare ever to be created.

Except it wasn't a dare.

'No. Levi, how about you explain?' Erwin leant back, folding his arms patronisingly as Levi sent daggers up to him. It was times like these when suddenly the age, and height, gap became so much more prominent- and annoying.

'I was in town and I saw the place advertising it and I thought it would look cool.' Levi shrugged and turned to walk away but Eren was having none of it.

'No. Way. You did NOT dye your hair neon green because you felt like it.'

'Why wouldn't I?' Levi shrugged and shook what should have been raven hair away from his face. Erwin almost repulsed at the action. He had let go of his rather prejudice thoughts about tattoos for Levi, forgiving the small one on his shoulder and ankle, but this, this was too much. He was not accepting his boyfriend to have neon hair, especially not green.

It was like the time his other boyfriend had thought it would be good to get a tattoo of their names in a place Erwin refused to even name. Erwin had never been so quick to deny an idea before.

'Because it looks terrible.' Eren laughed, never holding back on the honesty. It was his honesty that made this whole thing work anyway. Twenty-nine-year-old Eren, thirty-one-year-old Levi and thirty-five-year-old Erwin in some sort of weird relationship.

They both had fallen for him, apparently, despite his oddly repulsive charm for anyone sensible (not that either of them could be put in that category) and in that, had agreed with each other that they could both have him. Erwin was fine with that. Definitely fine with that.

Eren hadn't had to put up with each other for that long, quickly becoming friends and even if they wouldn't be more than that, it made for an interesting yet perfect environment. There were no secrets between them and they had long since passed the awkward stages of never mentioning of them to the other.

A year in and it was fine.

And, Erwin had actually left his wife.

Not that he had told them he had one in the first place.

Until he left her.

Now, that was a fun conversation.

'Better than that fucking mop of what you call hair on your head.' Levi retorted back, purposefully turning to Erwin and pushed the strands back between pale fingers. Erwin had always like how dark Levi's hair was. Maybe, just maybe, this was revenge.

'If this is about Rose then-' Erwin wasn't even heard over Eren's complaints.

'Hey! I'm not the one that got annoyed at his boyfriend and in revenge decided to dye his hair some ugly fucking ass colour!' Of course, Eren had to be the first to snap. His short temper had been funny at first. Now, it was what caused most of their fight. And, almost always, ended up with him apologising.

'Oh, now that is low! At least I didn't fucking go shout at his wife who didn't even know he was GAY!' Levi shouted, pointing an accusatory finger. He stepped forward, out of his attempt to leave the room, and approached Eren with calm and calculated steps.

It was times like these when Erwin wondered if he really was the one that was the centre of this relationship.

Even when they were arguing, the tension between them...well...Erwin didn't think he would call that perfectly normal tension. He didn't want to say the word. He wouldn't say the world: like a kid who thought kissing was a curse.

Eren had no retort.

'Tch. Brat.' Levi stepped away first, not willing to go any further. It was why Erwin tended to let them fight it out. They never lasted long. Eren's short temper would fuse out and leave him running or Levi simply not have the energy for it.

'Are you guys done?' Erwin asked, rising from his place leaning against the sofa.

'Yeah.' They spoke at the same time and glanced at each other. 'Jinx.' The same time.

'Well, at least there will be some quiet around here whilst I go buy some black hair dye.' Erwin sighed and rummaged by the door for his shoes.

Suddenly, laughter filled the room- loud and boisterous. Eren was the first to crack, the grin spreading from ear to ear and Levi followed soon after. It was a rare occasion but Erwin was too shocked to even move.

'What?' He asked, completely lost. It was something he didn't feel often. It made him feel...even more lost.

'You totally fell for it!' Eren burst out, slapping his leg harshly, the laughs wracking his body like sobs.

'OMG. That was amazing.' Levi breathed from the unwilling wheezes that were spilling from him. He was trying to not let himself laugh. He didn't know why he was even trying, Erwin's face alone was enough to send him into giggles. The smile on his face was refreshing. He was glad for it.

Eren turned around and raised a palm and with little resistance, Levi slapped it. A best-friends accomplishment marked down with a high-five. 'Now THAT was revenge for the wife.' They both grinned madly and turned to Erwin with wicked smiles.

'Happy April Fools?' Eren added weakly.

'It's September.' He stated blankly, almost robotically. He couldn't process anything now, especially not emotions.

'Happy September Fools.' It was always impressive how Levi spoke with no qualms as if it had been what he meant from the start. But, without the usual frown, it was lighter- funnier even. Erwin allowed himself to smile.

'The hair dye comes out?' Erwin was praying, praying that it did. Levi nodded.

'One wash and this nasty stuff is out...hopefully.' Levi sent Eren a warning glance. They had agreed, if the dye didn't come out like Eren said, Levi was having Erwin for the week.

'Well, well done. I deserved that.' Erwin scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

'Yes, you did. Now I'm getting this fucking nuclear stuff out of my head.' Levi stalked off and left Eren in the room alone with Erwin.

'That better come out or I am SO dead.' Eren complained, leaning against Erwin and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, falling against his broad chest.

'It will...probably.' Erwin couldn't contain the light smile on his lips as he stared down at Eren who was beginning to grumble about the unfairness of it all.

Suddenly, as if he had never left, Levi stormed back into the room, furiously rubbing at his wet hair with a towel. The green hadn't changed in colour a bit. 'You, kid, are so dead.'

 


	6. Until The Bombs Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eruriren Weekend ~ Past

Levi had never found a reason to stay in the house, now more so than ever. It was just cold in there, anyway, he thought as he sat on the stairs- thawed with cruel ice. Inside was frozen, outside was frozen and the streets of Leningrad were bare. People were gone, dead or fighting. Starved to death or shot. A bullet only took one hit to kill, infections were spreading like wildfire and even a small cut could cause the severest of illnesses. That was if the cold didn't get to you first.

Hunger or cold battled for the deaths of millions, picking off each one by one yet so rapidly that it looked like they were dropping in unison. Dying so quickly you could mistake it for bombs if not for the distant crashes. The bombs were still far, obliterating the outskirts of the city.

But they were approaching. Quickly.

Levi was starving but he didn't want food. He didn't have the energy. His hunger-riddled brain was muddling needs with wants until the lethargy dragged him into the state of unconsciousness. Sleeping with his eyes open. Sleeping whilst walking. Sleeping when you couldn't bear the cold any longer. Dead when you couldn't bear the hunger any longer.

Levi shivered, his woollen coat doing little to protect him from the biting Leningrad winds. They were always like this in winter but with a warm home, the fire blazing, he had never found it much of a problem- that was until he caught a cold, at least. But, now, with his fingertips blue and his nose such a violent red you could mistake it for food. People thought anything was food now.

Animals were food.

Plants were food.

Pets were food.

Leather was food.

Clothes were food.

Everything. Was. Food.

The rest of the slum had scurried off to the defenses but Levi hadn't budged. If he was going to die, he was going to do it here, not on a lonely battlefield under a foreign sky. He had never left his home, never walking further than three streets down where the furthest shop, the grocers, was. The one that was now empty, out of stock and ransacked. The store owner had passed whilst still at the till, he had been giving any spares to his family- not enough for himself.

The slum was dead anyway, literally and metaphorically. The people were gone, the ones that stayed barely alive, maybe not even. His apartment block, which used to hold dozens of people, now contained just him. As did the next.

Families didn't live here.

Families were some of the only people who bothered to stay behind.

That and cowards. And Levi certainly didn't have family.

He had been searching for food, he remembered suddenly. His energy had been lost on him and he had sat down to rest. They all knew that a rest meant nothing of the sort. He saw the woman on the set of steps next to him, frozen over- her rotten corpse portraying the shards of ice like an art piece.

With food on his mind and nothing available, he set for wallowing in his hunger, feeling the tearing of his stomach as it searched for food that wasn't there. That wouldn't be there. Not for another couple days, anyway, when one of the supply trucks finally made it over the icy stretch of the river and rations were given out again.

Most people had saved their rations. Most people were living off what was few but there. Levi, he was living with nothing. Nothing at all. No bread stuffed in his pockets, no hidden honey jar for emergencies. Nothing. The grips of death clutched on him like a vice, the shadowy figure blocking his vision- black spots gradually filling his vision.

He was dying, he realised.

And, it didn't feel too bad.

Except, he was a coward and cowards don't die. Cowards live for fear of death. The brave ones accept it. Levi wasn't brave. Levi was afraid. He was a strong coward, a contradiction that made too much sense in a time of confusion.

Everything was contradictory now. A whole city was living off nothing, corpses walked and the fed still danced. The people were scared but they didn't give in. They lived. They lived with nothing to let them live.

He wants to pity himself for being stuck in this state of starvation but he can't, the only ones who have food are the rich and even then, they hardly have anything either. Some of them still don't have anything at all.

The clever ones are the ones living the best. The ones that know how to steal, how to con and how to persuade. They are the ones who live.

That was not Levi. That was not brash, crude Levi whose aim before this was to at least get a job, for his country. For Stalin. It still hadn't happened. He didn't fit in right. He didn't try hard enough. He fought for what he believed in.

At the moment, he couldn't think of anything that fits into that.

Levi doesn't know how he manages to stand after that, how he managed to blink the black from his eyes. He pries his hands away from the ice and into the whipping wind, not an improvement- at least the ice had numbed his frail fingers. He looked down at himself, concentrating on his legs. They were barely there anymore. He looked like a skeleton, a living skeleton. He looked ill. He wasn't self-conscious, though, he fits in perfectly alongside everyone else.

Stumbling on the ice, he gained his balanced and trudged along the abandoned streets. It was desolate, the wind his only accomplice as it whipped him from head to toe. It scratched at his dry skin like sandpaper and burned his eyes like fire. The wind was cruel, battling hunger in its want for death.

What draws Levi eye, though, is no longer his own living corpse but the flyer fluttering around, barely remaining pinned to the crooked-stone wall. On it, in huge letters, wrote 'JOIN THE ARMY' and underneath, in letters hardly legible to his weak eyes, it continued to explain why he, just he, was needed. This was for him, he thought, some self-obsessed part of his mind taking over. He was no longer in control of himself. His mind or body.

He leaned forward, squinting to read the print that would have been so clear only a year before. They told him of his fighting comrades, the wicked enemy, and the saviour that he would be if he were to enlist. He almost forgot of the death he had heard of. Forgot this was a lie.

He didn't understand why the propaganda posters were still around. Everyone who wanted to go had gone. Or so Levi thought. 'Mikasa, why won't you just let me enlist! See this! They need me!' Levi wasn't the only self-obsessed person, it seemed. The boy, a combination of shaggy, brown hair and undefinable eyes, raved on to the girl who stared at him with a heavy gaze, one word exuding from her: no.

They both looked starved, faces like skulls and muscles reduced to bone. But, they looked far more alive than many. They were some of the well-off. He could see it, in both of them, they were clever ones.

He watched them, following the story in his mind. The boy was the basis of the operation, stealing and conning as if his life depended on it- in fact, it did- and then, the girl, she reigned him back before anything could go wrong. She was just as strong but far more subdued, she would do anything for him. That much, at least, was clear to Levi. This girl would put the boy above her, she would die for him.

She was dying for him, Levi realised. Where she keeled over, he stood straight. Where her eyes were dim, his shone. She was feeding him her own food. She had just enough to live, just enough to be able to protect him. But, the rest went to him. He used to fight it, Levi imagined, and then he had begun to give in.

All from a still image, Levi had gained so much information. His mind was so muddled that it was seeing the impossible. It was seeing a false reality. He didn't realise they were looking at him until he moved his eyes back down the where the poster now lying in his hands.

'You joining too?!' The boy shouted with far too much excitement. Levi resisted holding his hands over his ears to block out the noise, it hurt so much. His ears were fragile, only adjusted to the distant booms. Everything was distant now.

Why did this boy sound so jovial about something as grim as the army? Levi didn't question, though, as he shrugged. He wasn't ready to speak, not yet. He wasn't even sure if his lips could move. He hadn't moved them in days and the ice had probably frozen them together. There was no need to move them, he didn't eat, he didn't speak. He just survived. Not lived. Survived.

'Look, Mikasa! I'm not the only one! I need to go, I need to help them!' The boy argued to the girl whose name must have been Mikasa. The boy was delusional, it seemed. Even Levi realised that even if the poster was persuading him, he wasn't needed. He would become canon-fodder. Useful, he guessed. But not important. This kid's sense of self-righteousness was a little too much.

'I can go with you...' He trailed off awkwardly, the eyes of indefinable colour staring straight into his, dull upon bright, a contrast that fit together so perfectly.

'Levi.' The words were a mere whisper. His voice was so hoarse you could barely hear the croak but at least the kid was smart enough not to question it and continued on with his energy level raised to full.

He wondered how, with so little food, he was managing to exude so much energy.

'My name's Eren. You want to go, right? It wouldn't be as bad if someone else were to come. Mikasa can't enlist with me so...' Levi stared the kid down, head to toe. Eren, huh. Something about the determination set Levi on edge whilst also lulling him into a sense of security. He realised something he hadn't before, this kid was dangerous. No matter the innocence he portrayed himself with, something dark was lingering beneath. Something that was portrayed much clearer in his sister.

Something that he saw so much in himself.

They were more alike than he had first thought- and he had hardly even talked to the kid yet.

'If you want to, kid.' Levi shrugged, the small gesture sending ripples through his body as his taught muscles stretched awkwardly.

Levi didn't have a passion for going alone nor did he want this brat to tail him but the latter seemed favourable. Eren looked as if he might cry, no, scream if Levi were to deny him of this. This was his pass into the battle, away from his sister's side.

He was sick of surviving. His sister didn't care about that, about his quest for life. She just wanted them to survive. He couldn't care less. Such an awkward dynamic yet one that seemed to work so well for them. Even as they argued- Levi allowing himself a step back away from the action- they looked like they knew what the other would say and they had the exact words to counteract it. They were a team, even if they didn't want to be.

'Mikasa, I'm going and you can't stop me.' The words drew Levi's attention again from where he leant against the wall, resting his aching body. Eren was storming away from the girl, approaching Levi at a rapid pace, his eyebrows set in a harsh line, creasing his forehead- he looked far older than he did before.

Levi couldn't set an age. Young, clearly. But, nowadays, it was hard to tell. The young looked old and the old looked young, wrinkles stretched out by ghastly skin and young faces deformed by the curse of hunger. Eren could be a teenager or an adult.

Levi didn't want to look into it, though. If anything, he wanted to let the boy walk his path and leave him as soon as he could. It would be for the best. He didn't understand just what this boy's motivations were but whatever they were, they were stupid.

Something told Levi that this boy was hiding the truth. From his sister and from him. There was something that Eren would only let himself know. Something that in the mirror of starvation had distorted enough to look like hope. It wasn't. Something far more sinister lay beneath that twinkle in his eye. Something was...off.

Levi only found himself intrigued.

'Yes, I can, Eren! You are my brother and I will not let you run off for no reason!' Brother and sister. Levi stared at both of them, the differences in between them. Surely they weren't actually siblings, an odd pet name, he supposed. Whatever it was, the situation was only made more awkward by her outburst. She had lost already, they knew that, just like Leningrad had. It wouldn't stop either of them fighting, though. Not at all.

'I have a perfectly good reason, Mikasa! Now get off my back!' He shouted and the innocence was stripped from him. His youthful vigour became twisted darkness, the monster underneath was revealed.

A monster just like Levi but...

Had hunger made Levi this delusional? Had hunger really made Levi believe all this? He had known this boy, seen this boy, for no more than minutes. He hadn't had human interaction in days and here he was, a philosopher. What had happened to him?

What had he become in the face of the mirror?

'Please don't go, Eren.' A plea, barely standing as she tipped herself forward and held out a hand for him to take. A failed bargain. He only took a step away, towards Levi. Levi wanted to take a step back himself; he didn't want to be wrapped up in this.

This was not his family. He didn't have a family. His days of fighting were over. Except the fight to live. Because, no matter what happened, his cowardice stuck by him- through thick and thin.

Mikasa fled quickly, tucking her hand around the inside of her scarf, red and thick. Levi wished for something like that. He was surprised something like that hadn't been stolen already. Or even eaten, surely wool had some nutritional value. Maybe. No one knew anymore, they just chewed and hoped they weren't spending more calories on chewing than they were gaining.

Levi didn't let himself try, though. Chewing on old bits of cloth would only contract you a disease, something no one had enough food to live through. Illness was now death. No one survived.

Winter was ruthless, hunger was merciless and death was welcoming. Its arms were held wide, inviting each and every Leningrader into his arms.

'I'm not leaving to enlist now if you think that. You're going to have to talk to her.' It was an effort to speak and Levi's clumsily thick accent wasn't helping. He was told he grumbled, his words indecipherable- especially when he was tired. Nowadays, he was always tired.

'I know.' Eren mumbled, feeling chastised by this odd stranger- the man with his hair so dark it could be a shadow and eyes so bleak that Eren felt motivated to fix. Two strangers with the perfect attraction, not too much, not too little. A hidden glance and a faint smile, all masked by the shadow of death hanging over them.

'Now go. I'll be here tomorrow.' Eren nodded, his hair bouncing up and down before he jogged off to go find the girl. Levi wished he had enough energy to jog. Levi wished he had enough energy to do anything.

He looked off into the distance where Eren had run to before focusing back on the direction of his flat. It felt so far away now, miles, when it was only a few streets down. He needed something to keep him going, even if only for the minute it should have taken him to get there.

But, that was impossible.

He made it in twenty.

Levi smiled suddenly, Eren had run off back to the larger section of town. A communist country, his arse. He could imagine Eren's house, large and welcoming, perfectly presented, almost untouched by the war. And then his apartment, shabby, run-down and crumbling- it would have been better off bombed. But it was his home, it always had been, from birth to adulthood. From then to now.

He didn't have the heart to move and in times like these, he didn't have the opportunity to do so. He didn't have time to even be thinking about it but he needed something to take his mind off the tears in his gut.

Levi barely made it back the next day. He had nothing to fuel a fire, nothing to put on a fire and barely a rag to cover him. He was inches from death, running and running until the hunger banned his legs from moving any further. He was like the rest of the city, on the verge of falling, falling into the arms of their curse.

He stood in the place he had yesterday, trying to catch his breath and chew his cheek as if it was a substitute for the food he was missing. He heard the wailing of children and the hushed pleas of their mothers in the calm of the city. With the city almost uninhabited now, an unsettling sense of calm had reached the streets. Families and bombs were the only things left to fill the silence. Neither of which Levi liked much.

Levi had brought a bag with him, enough to get by. He wasn't expecting he could keep it for long and hadn't put anything of much use but the last of his clothes- ones that still kept him somewhat warm- lay at the bottom. He had locked his door, keeping the ghosts from coming in and hoped that he wouldn't be looted.

He almost laughed at anyone who tried to find anything of use in his home.

Eren arrived minutes after Levi, his eyes wide and bright and a bounce in his step. Clearly, someone had eaten this morning.

'Levi!' Eren shouted out, waving a hand frantically as if he believed Levi hadn't seen him already.

'Hello, Eren.' He tried to remain as formal as possible. If he was going to do this, Levi would have to remain unattached. Everyone had heard the rumours: one gun between six men and people dying in the hundreds. If Levi wanted to do this, and survive this, he was going to become strong and in that, he had to remain impassive to those around him. He would do Eren a favour and help him get in but he would aid him no further.

'You ready to go?' Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Eren leant forward and inspected Levi. He was oddly thorough, Levi realised, but he didn't pay any attention to it, the kid could do what he wanted.

'Yes, let's go.' The words sounded odd on his tongue, too formal, too clean. Nothing he had ever been before. The words were wrong when spoken in his accent, one that indicated he was clearly not from the wealthier part of the city.

He was born and raised in the slums and he wasn't able to hide it, from the scar above his collarbone to the lilt in his voice.

Finding the sign-up point would not be hard. It was located, as far as Levi knew, in the old town hall that had been used before the new, far more extravagant, one had been built a few years back.

The winter beat them thoroughly but Eren proved useful in the end. 'Bread?' Levi's eyes whipped to his left, staring down at the small piece of bread, about a 100g ration, laying in offering in Eren's palm. Levi snatched it before Eren could bring it back and threw it into his mouth greedily, making sure to suck and not chew, it would last longer. It would become sweeter, less stale.

Eren didn't take any offense and smiled as Levi let his taste buds finally have a taste of sugar. The steel-grey eyes widened and a small smile came to his lips, a desperate smile. One that could only be caused by being sent to the lowest point and being brought back up again.

It was soon done, though, and the smile had slipped off his face. 'Thank you.' Levi whispered, the words barely distinguishable above the roar of the wind that chafed their skin off their faces- leaving them soft, vulnerable to the rest of the elements.

'You looked hungry.' Eren looked down to his hands suddenly as if guilty of something, peering at Levi out of the corner of his eyes, the hint of yellow in his eyes almost glowing past the mix of blue and green- the colour of the sea, the sea that Levi had only seen in pictures. 'When was the last time you ate?'

There was no point in the hiding the truth. Levi spoke abruptly and relentlessly like it didn't matter that he was dying. He was dying just like the rest of the city. What was so special about him? What let him survive?

'Three days.' Levi peered down at the bones protruding out of his arms. Yes, definitely three days.

Eren, looking slightly disturbed, began to rummage through his bag, reaching towards the bottom where a small, paper-wrapped package lay. 'My sister, she's gone to help dig the defenses. Mikasa, she...she gave me this for when food got scarce. Have it.' Just like he gave the bread, Eren held his hands out in offering.

'I can't. That's your food.' Levi took a step back, his eyes widening.

'I don't need it. Look at me, I've had it far better than you. You deserve this. If we're going to fight, you're going to need some fat on those bones anyway.' Eren tried to lighten the mood but it sat too heavily upon them.

Levi testing the paper to check that what he was seeing was real, let it fall into his hands. He didn't open it, simply staring at it. He was going to survive. He would survive- for Eren. For his generosity.

Levi felt the urge to wrap Eren in a hug but denied himself the pleasure of that warmth and only thanked him, tears brimming his eyes. But, Levi didn't cry. He held strong. He was a man, men didn't cry. Not in Russia, at least. Levi had heard plenty of the weaker men of other nations, he almost pitied them.

They didn't walk in silence. Eren soon was chattering away excitedly about the prospects of what he could do fighting. Levi soon found out that Eren had never shot a gun before nor had he used any sort of artillery and all of the things he had heard were based on rumours of propaganda. Levi pitied the kid but made a statement in not showing it on his face. Eren was messing with his brain enough as it was, he didn't need to pity him on top of that.

He had far too many feelings for him already. Pity, respect...that fluttery feeling in his stomach. Upon seeing his downcast face, though, Eren did not hold back in turning all his attention to Levi.

'Are you not excited?' Such innocence, such purity. Something Levi could no longer dream of possessing. It was too far out of his grasp. How did Eren manage this? How did he fit into these two different personas so well? His words sounded like that of a child's but his actions could be as thought through as a psychopath's. There was a hidden ruthlessness in him, one that was masked with an innocence that wasn't fake either.

It was as if he had tricked himself into believing he was two different people. Denial. That was denial.

'Excited?' Levi scoffed, not elaborating anymore.

'You're not?' Eren sounded no less than confused, only sending Levi's mind further down the spiral it was falling down. He had blamed it on hunger, one that had been at least partially satiated but what could he blame it on now, then? Curiosity? Existentialism? A crush? Surely he couldn't be crushing on someone so much younger than him, so much less experienced. This kid was barely a man.

'About dying? No.' That shut Eren up, at least, leaving time for Levi to make sense of his thoughts. Something was wrong with him, something was making his heart pound.

He wouldn't realise until later that what drew him in was something inside of Eren, something that wasn't inside him. That was what would draw him to both of them. Even if it wasn't allowed. Even if he could be killed for it. A man in love with a man. A man in love with two men. Levi was breaking all the rules, all the regulations, all the prejudice.

He would see the bravery. He would see what so little possessed in times of crisis. He would see what all the starving didn't have. He saw two people willing to die, two people who weren't so cowardly that they ran from death. They allowed it in and savoured what life they had left.

They were brave. So magnificently, mind-bogglingly brave.

Levi fell in love with that.

Levi didn't know why he hadn't figured it out sooner, what those fluttery things in his stomach were. What it was that distracted him from the agony of hunger. Something that drew his skin to someone else's, even through the terse silence that hung loud in the desolate city. It was like they were the only ones left...and Levi didn't mind at all.

The silence didn't end, even as the walked into the sign-up hall and put down their names, another name on a long list of people- people that were probably dead already. The enemy forces were gaining strength and the Germans were bombing so frequently that it felt like the city was only days from obliteration.

They were sent to a truck after hours of waiting, sitting next to each other and Levi resisted the disgusting temptation to grab Eren's hand and Eren tried desperately not to fall into realism as he realised what he had signed up to. Levi's words rang loudly. Levi wasn't excited and he made it so clear that Eren shouldn't be either. They were running into death's arms, it was death’s decision now whether it would free them from life or not, whether it would let go or consume them. They weren't in control anymore.

No one in this city was. Whether it was being left out to be shot or starving to death or even dying of a cold, they were all dying. The rich, the poor and the in between. Everyone was dying and everyone was fending for themselves.

So what difference did running into the battlefield make?

Levi's stomach growled loudly as they were herded to the truck, sat alongside two other soldiers, all of which look far more dejected than both Levi and Eren and it made for a lot of curiosity as to why they were on the truck in the first place. Levi was almost ready to open that food package and take another bite, for desperation's sake, but he willed himself away and allowed his stomach to sing its song, just like the rest of the truck. It was a sound they had all learnt to block out by now: the growls of their stomachs as the reached for food that would never come.

The truck growled to life as soon as Eren and Levi sat down, being the last ones to get on the truck. Midday was approaching but the ice had not become reluctant. It remained on the streets like a child to its mother, causing the wheels of their truck to slip and slide as they rolled along. The terse silence hung between them, willing them all to speak yet keeping them quiet.

They were nervous, nervous of what was to come and what they had left behind. No one was safe anymore, no one survived the anxiety that ripped them apart. In their homes, they were unsafe. On the battlefield, they were unsafe. With their family, they were unsafe.

'Are you guys all heading to the front lines?' Eren spoke up, his voice quiet and shy, something Levi hadn't heard before. The boy had exuded confidence when in Levi's presence, even without his sister around but now he looked as if he really could be Levi's son as he brought himself a little too close to Levi's side and watched the others with an odd mix of awe and fear.

'Yeah, where else?' The man opposite scoffed, his two-toned hair having gone unbrushed for days, probably because of the hair it would bring out. Starvation and hair-loss walked hand in hand. Other than that, the brat presented himself well- even if the devilish smirk on his face made Levi wanted to punch his smug face.

'I don't know...medical, I guess.' Eren recoiled, falling into Levi further and despite how much Levi wanted to push him off, he found himself accepting the comfort- for himself and not Eren. He needed it. Desperately.

The all needed some comfort.

'Nah, dude. Jean and I here are both off to fight. I'm Reiner.' He held out his hand to shake and Eren took it gladly, happy to see some sort of courtesy in spite of the dangerous situation. 'And you, creepy guy?' Three faces all turned to Levi, who had been enjoyed laying back and listening to the quiet conversation, something to fill his mind with that wouldn't spiral him into atheistic existentialism- a dark path.

The truck rolled to a stop and Levi sighed out, relieved he wouldn't have to talk when Reiner peered out of the window located behind Levi. 'Good old Leningrad, getting us all stuck in a snowstorm.' Levi quickly spun around and looked out of the flimsy plastic that formed a window in the truck from where the glass had been replaced when it had smashed, most likely from a bombing raid. He was right, this was not their destination. The blizzard outside was harsh and unrelenting, coming as quick as lightning and leaving as slow as stone.

They had picked the perfect day to travel.

'So, we're here for the long run then...you gonna introduce yourself before you murder us?' The guy, Reiner, joked upon turning his attention back to Levi. Levi, trying to hide his gaunt face behind his undercut, was happy to see Eren perk forward, about to defend his 'friend' but there was no need. Levi must have been older than most of the people in this truck, he didn't need a twenty-year-old to stand up for him.

'Levi.' The two almost reeled back as Levi put on his most sinister smile, barely even a smile at all. Something from a horror. His accent had become so thick that it seemed the smaller boy, Jean, hadn't even picked it up but the hulk of muscle was sat close enough to pick out the words.

'Wow, maybe you really are a murderer.' Even if the two-toned jerk was joking, he sure looked scared. Even the wall of muscle looked slightly intimidated. And, most of all, both looked very shocked to see Eren sniggering in the corner, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

‘Levi! Stop intimidating them! You do not speak like that.’ Eren sent a playful whack to Levi’s arm, leaving a stinging sensation on his weak flesh- yet Levi found himself not minding at all.

'Oh but I do.' He kept the act up, lowering his voice to a pitch he thought he could never reach and letting his words run into each other so they were barely decipherable. Eren only laughed louder. It was beautiful. Levi hadn't heard someone laugh in...forever. Even before the war, laughter had been something that he had only seen from afar, in the mouths of children and lovers.

Lovers.

'Levi! Stop it!' Eren giggled, sending him a broad smile, showing off the teeth that hadn't yet begun to rot. He really was doing well.

'You two close, huh?' Reiner asked, leaning back with a small smile of his own. A laugh was enough to lift anyone's spirits. It was a snippet of their old life, one Eren hadn't yet lost. One that Eren knew he faked but kept going for the rest of them. An act but a beautiful one nonetheless. None of them needed to know what he really felt.

Levi grunted nonchalantly but Eren was happy to tell his own story. 'Oh, no. I met Levi yesterday. He helped me enlist. My sister didn't want me coming but I managed to persuade her. I want to help.' There was so much more he wanted to do than help.

Revenge flickered in his heart.

'Wow, I thought you had known each other for much longer. You definitely didn't go to school together or anything?' Reiner kept his tone light but there was clearly some curiosity there.

'How old do you think I am?' Levi scoffed, finally letting down the act and speaking as he normally would- even then, his speech was a little awkward. He had been taught the slang of Leningrad, not high Russian.

'I don't know, about twenty?' Levi gaped at the guy, drawing the attention of the other two.

'How old are you Levi?' Eren pushed, his eyes a little wide in shock.

'Thirty-two.' Dead silence. And, just as his conversation started, it ended with the truck's rumbling engine as they went on their way again.

Eren gaped at him, not daring to speak a word. The others, despite the evident surprise, didn't try to continue the conversation- opting to watch their hands tremble under the gentle light hanging above them.

Starvation made them ageless. And for Levi, whose age it was hard to guess before, it had only made him more ethereal. So dark and damaged that it was angelic. A fallen angel in a fallen city. They all were, he would like to believe. He would like to believe there was a god at all. He had long since decided that he wouldn't care for anything as straight-forward as religion and his faith in God was minimal but in times like these, it was hard not to wish for heaven. To wish for something after their worthless lives, after dying pointless deaths in a pointless war.

When the truck rolled to a halt again, they were at their destination: an isolated field set up with artillery and scattered guns for whoever could pick it up first from the decaying corpses. No one alive was out, it had long since gone dark and they were all asleep, huddled in bunches- barely decipherable from the corpses alongside them. It was a sea of dead and even those whose chest's rose were dead, dead in a far different way to that which sent you away from life.

They were herded off the truck like sheep, told to line up in a simple formation, Eren and Levi (the shorter of the four) at the front with Reiner and Jean behind them. They stood as tall as soldiers could when having gone unfed for days. Their movements were spurred on by adrenaline and fear alone and they knew as soon as the sun rose, they would feel the aches again, the hunger that came in waves, giving them false release to something they couldn't escape. Not in Leningrad.

They hadn't been told about the rest of the situation in Russia. Levi had thought it better not to ask. Yet, they still knew they had been obliterated whilst the rest of Russia, no matter the state of it, was still on its last legs.

They waited in the blistering cold for minutes before anything occurred. They distracted themselves with the loud snores of the men and the quiet cries of the boys barely above teenage-hood. The man that met them was impressive. Levi, upon having to crane his neck to just see the man, almost reeled back at the site. How someone looked so put together in this situation, he was sure. Sure, the dark circles were prominent and the wrinkles were etching themselves into his flesh but the man before them was, dare he say, beautiful.

He had never thought of sexuality, he had been too afraid too. The last few days, it was becoming clearer and clearer yet no matter what, he didn't want to think about it.

Now was not a time for discrimination, this was war.

'My name is Erwin Smith, head of the defense force. You start tomorrow, find a gun if you can and put yourselves up against the barricades.' The man had already fled before Levi could speak up.

Levi valued knowledge and from a man who clearly had much, he wasn't letting many others had it. Resisting the urge to run after him and interrogate Erwin on the situation, Levi turned to Eren and raised an eyebrow. Eren, for his charm, didn't seem to mind the unwelcoming welcome and was still pushing a smile onto his face as he watched the mud-ridden soldiers slip in and out of sleep as they heard the booming voice of their commander.

Erwin Smith, Levi replayed the name in his mind, a beautiful name too. 'Eren, what's your last name?' A sudden curiosity.

'Jaeger, didn't I tell you before?' Levi shrugged, he had no idea. His memory hadn't served him well as of late.

Eren Jaeger, another name in his list of beautiful names. Levi was torn between morality and lust. What he was feeling, that wasn't normal, was it? Loving a man, that wasn't normal, was it? Loving someone ten years younger and the other probably ten years older. Feeling something for more than one person.

Levi's mental struggle was beginning to represent the toll of his body. He couldn't think straight anymore. But if anything came of his cowardliness, it was his ability to think straight for the sake of surviving.

'Let's find somewhere to sleep.' Levi led the group, Eren next to him and Reiner and Jean following silent, over to an empty patch against a large pileup of sandbags. 'Here should do.' Levi didn't care if they didn't like it or not so, sitting by the heap, he shut his eyes and ignored the quiet chatter around him. He wasn't sure whose it was anymore.

He was just so tired.

'Levi, you still there?' A voice, young but tired. Eren's.

'Yeah, barely.' Levi mumbled, his eyes fluttering open to reveal a word of blur.

'Look at this.' Eren whispered. Levi turned, noticing the other two had gone elsewhere and looked at what was in Eren's hands. A rifle.

'Where did you find that?' Levi whispered, running a solitary finger down the fragile wood- splinters protruding from where another man's grip had held so strong that it had fractured.

'It was lying over there. Probably from...' Eren didn't have to say anything as his eyes moved to the small heap where three soldiers had fallen, each body falling upon the next.

'Yeah, probably.' Silence fell again. Levi looked around, seeing the dead and the lifeless side by side. And then them, just them. Him and Eren, Eren and him. Alone. Alive. It felt like they were the last ones, the strongest.

Levi wished that were the truth: humanities strongest and humanities hope, he could even imagine the name in the twisted fantasy he allowed himself to think was truth. 'Don't you find it a little odd how little information they gave us when we arrived?'

'Huh?' Eren turned, prying his eyes from the gun if only for a second.

'We came here and they told us little to nothing about the situation. Do we not need to know anything?' Levi's hands were trembling but his composure remained firm, his lips in a stern downwards direction. He wouldn't lose control.

Not again.

Not after that.

'I don't know. Is it necessary for us to know the situation? Won't it only make us more...terrified?' Eren looked down to his own hands, not much better than Levi's. They were both terrified. Trembling hands and frozen, numb faces made them the perfect soldiers- the perfect amount of adrenaline pumping through their veins. Just as it was planned.

'Aren't we already?' It would be the closest confession Levi would ever give to his feelings. The admittance of being terrified of death, of wanting to live, of being a coward. Eren didn't have an answer to that, pulling himself back to the gun, running nimble fingers across the trigger without pulling it.

Both of them wondered, when the time came, if either of them would have the courage to pull that trigger. It was surprising what survival instinct could do but...would it be enough? Levi didn't dwell on the times he had brought down a knife to someone's flesh or the times he had stolen to suit his own needs and, in turn, taking away other's. He tried to ignore that this wasn't new to him. War wasn't new to him. Just now, it was coming in a very different form.

And this time, he hadn't got the people he cared about by his side.

At least, not the people he cared about yet.

Eren fell asleep at some point, his eyes shutting and small, haggard breaths falling from his mouth. The cold created clouds of steam from his mouth- a war machine, pumping out the unnecessary leftovers.

Levi wasn't anywhere near sleep. It was well past midnight but his eyes were wide-awake, watching over the others like a hawk, hovering over Eren for a little too long each time. He was both clever and stupid for doing so. In the morning, he could die for his stupidity but to sleep now was to let his guard down, to let someone hurt him now.

He was never safe.

None of them were.

He stood up before he had even noticed. The fear pumped into him like oil into a machine, forcing his legs to move. Forcing him to leave Eren. Only for now, he told himself, he would be back for the kid. He didn't deserve to be alone. None of these people did.

He didn't know he was going, he couldn't see where he was going. The sky was a painting of black, the grey clouds peeking in at the edges. Stars were no longer abundant, abandoning the abandoned city like there was no one left to watch them.

Reaching the cabin was by no means an accident nor was it for any purpose. He didn't even know if that was where the man would be. It was most likely. He had fled back in this direction earlier and Levi could only assume he didn't sleep on the floor with the rest of them. No, this man was above them.

He didn't understand why.

Maybe some communist ideas did appeal to him.

The cabin itself was hardly a cabin, more of a pile of wood stacked up until they joined and created a makeshift roof. It had been hit by a bomb, or something of the sort, Levi noticed upon looking at the other half of the building where the wood was barely holding itself up, the building looking more collapsed than ever.

A light was on inside and Levi didn't have the politeness to knock, storming in uninvited. He was correct. Commander Smith sat at the desk, head heavy in his head as he read over the papers in front of them- no doubt telling him about the radically bad numbers. Death tolls, enemy count, food supplies.

A gun was on him as soon as he entered the door, an old looking pistol but undoubtedly cocked. For what purposes it served- seeing as no enemy would make it here without killing all in its path already- Levi didn't want to know.

Raising his hands in surrender, Levi took a confident step forward. 'What are you doing here, soldier?' The man, Erwin, muttered, lowering his gun slowly and cautiously until it hit the desk with a thud.

'I want a report on the situation.' Levi didn't bother to ask. He didn't care that he was ordering his superior. What would he do? Kill him? He couldn't, they needed more men. More men to put in front of the gunfire until they found an actual solution.

'May I ask why you want to know? You arrived here little over three hours ago, what gives you the authority?' Erwin raised an eyebrow, wrinkling the skin on his forehead- aging him years above what he should have been.

'Because I will not fight until I know what I am fighting for, Commander,' at least he had some courtesy to call the man by his title, 'I will not get shot for a pointless battle.' He was proud of his point, there was no argument to be put down. Erwin could order him as much as he liked but it wouldn't budge Levi's will. He had to know, for his own curiosity. He didn't care how much worse it made this all. He wanted to know.

'The numbers aren't inspiring.' Their eyes met, blue on grey- something so different yet so similar to Eren's. Something just as beautiful. Levi felt that tear in his mind again. His mind was splitting in ten directions and he was stuck, stuck in the middle as he watched himself take too many wrong paths. Too many conflicting decisions.

'I don't care, Erwin.' Title dropped, the man didn't even notice. Their eyes didn't budge. Erwin motioned to one of the stool and Levi dragged it over, perching on it lightly- annoyed by its height- and leaning down to see the papers on his desk. Erwin and he were mere inches apart now. A deadly attraction neither had the time to read into.

Erwin, brushing file after file away, pushed a single piece of paper in front of Levi and finally, the connection broke. Levi's eyes danced over the numbers that Erwin had jotted down. Millions of people, food supplies not catering for even thousands. Thousands of soldiers, soon to be dwindled down to hundreds. And thousands of Germans just outside the border- many having already infiltrated.

Erwin had underlined a single figure, written under the title 'Estimated Citizen Count in 6 Months'. Levi didn't say it aloud, he refused to even say it in his head, turning the paper around as he could.

Citizen count. That wasn't even everybody. There were so many more. So many more people to die. Levi was going to die.

'How many of this legion is expected to come out alive?' Levi didn't know why he asked, he already regretted it.

'Less than a tenth.' He was practically already dead. His death had been sealed. He was going to die here, brutally and mercilessly in a war he had no interest for.

What had been the point in coming?

'I'm not making this out alive, am I?' Erwin didn't answer and silence hung heavily, the anxiety tangible.

'Are we really going to die?' A boy, standing in the doorway, the familiar brown mop of hair on his head and the sparkling green eyes- or blue...or was it yellow?

'I cannot guarantee anything.'

Eren watched Erwin with those beautiful eyes of his, tears reaching the edges but never spilling. Eren wouldn't cry, he was stronger than that. No matter how young he was, he was stronger than Levi by thousands. Maybe not physically but there was only so much strength someone could have with their body.

Maybe it was all just Levi's self-doubt as he watched the two people match gazes. A beautiful tension crackling between them. 'I'm trying to help as much as I can,' Erwin spoke up, his eyes moving back to the piles of pages. 'But, the situation...this isn't something we can just fight. We haven't lost, not yet,' Erwin sounded so sure of that, 'but we don't have much left; we almost don't have anything left.' Erwin slumped, resting his head in his hand again, just as he had when Levi had first entered. It was his way of showing vulnerability. Being commander may have put him higher than us, may have given him more food but it was to make up for the flesh-eating guilt that was pushed upon him- the burden as heavy as mountains on his shoulders.

Levi kept his face blank as he watched the both of them: Eren as he walked over to the desk and sat himself against one of the legs and Erwin as he began to scribble a few more sums under his current sheet.

What was left to calculate, Levi wondered.

Something drew them together that night. No one left, even when the sun began to rise. No one would wake for another few hours, they were assured. Not until the bombs started dropping. Starvation kept them under the pretense of death for as long as possible until they were forced to face the fact that they were alive and miserable.

Another stab the gut.

They knew it was wrong, they knew they should have left. They knew they shouldn't have sat down next to each other, their legs brushing every time they moved. It was wrong, so wrong. Against society, against what they told themselves as soldiers, against their own morals.

None of them moved.

When Eren began to tremble, two sets of arms were wrapped around him. 'I miss her.' His mum, he explained and Mikasa, the girl Levi had seen in the street. No one had the guts to reassure him, no one knew what was happening. Not even Erwin. Erwin only had false knowledge, bad statistics and crippling guilt.

'Do you two not miss anyone?' Eren asked, his guilty smile falling as he rested his head on Erwin's shoulder and grasped for Levi's hand. No one brought it up. No one dared. They accepted that for tonight, this was acceptable. Just tonight- until the bombs dropped.

'Already dead.' Levi mumbled flippantly, he had long since learnt to not care. He did care. He long since learnt not to look like he cared.

'My mother is back in the city. She is most likely dead by now. She's strong but when I left, back when this all started, our home was already bare of food and heat.' Erwin admitted, letting himself free. He wasn't their higher up for now. He was their friend...more than their friend.

They didn't speak again until they felt the first light peek through a gap in the walls, illuminating their joint hands. The glittering sun was the first they had seen in a while, peeking out between the dense cloud cover of the Russian winter. It was hope.

Hope for survival.

'I wish we met under different circumstances.' Levi wasn't sure if he agreed with Eren's sentiment. This wouldn't be happening if they weren't scared. It would have been far too wrong. They would have run. But, he understood it.

He understood it all.

'Me too, kid.'

'Me too.' Erwin echoed Levi, looking over to his raven-haired 'friend' and smiling as much as he could muster. 'Am I the only one who's starving?' He suddenly added, covering up the cries of his own stomach.

'Here I was thinking you got fed.' Levi remarked- a question hidden under his false nonchalance.

'The food supply has been cut off for days. None of the soldiers have eaten in days.' Levi looked over, shocked. He had expected something better, better than his situation.

'Wait here.' Levi left no room for argument as he stood and rushed out of the cabin, leaving Eren and Erwin alone, huddled into each other for warmth.

'What do you think he's doing?' Erwin asked, his lips centimetres from Eren's ear.

'I think I might know and if I'm right, just wait until he gets back.' Eren smiled, a truer smile than he had smiled in days. Warmth, that's what they felt when they were together, what allowed them to ignore the hunger for even seconds as they let the other's warmth rekindle their own.

When Levi came back, it was with his and Eren's equipment. He dropped it dramatically, struggling for breath, muttering a quiet 'shit, that was heavy' before sitting back in his old place, rummaging through his bag. The other two watched in fascination as Levi busied himself despite having no sleep or food for days.

Levi was a force of nature, they agreed. Even if Levi didn't believe it.

Out of the bag, he finally found it. That perfectly wrapped parcel that Eren had given him just the day before. He unwrapped it without a care to reveal over a week's worth of rations, saved over months. Levi looked to Eren who simply shrugged. He knew nothing more than the other two.

'I think we might just live with this.' Levi let himself smile. He never smiled but this was enough. Them, this, everything was enough. He let himself feel content, blocked out the dark thoughts. Everything was looking up.

Because monsters were the ones that survived.

And they had all already accepted it: they were the monsters.

The monsters that didn't leave each other's sides even after the bombs dropped.


	7. Only Those Who Had A Reason To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eruriren Weekend ~ Present

Eren had finished college last year; he hadn't visited his parents since. It wasn't that he didn't want to. He always wanted to. For the length of his childhood, his father had been too busy with work to spend prolonged periods of time with him and his mother was a missed stability in his life.

He was driving down for Christmas: his foot gently pressing on the gas pedal and the windows rolled down despite the harsh breeze. He welcomed the noisy streets, it was dark and if his sight was lessened, he would rather his ears be heightened. It brought back balance. Eren had had enough chaos for a lifetime, he was ready for some peace- and maybe later, some quiet.

The icy roads, despite Eren not finding them all too hard to drive on, had caused a few accidents and the highway only minutes from his parents' house was no longer road, the once empty concrete replaced by the colourful plethora of cars, full of bristling children, steaming adults and bored teenagers.

All on their way home for Christmas.

Eren had to admit that Christmas was his favourite time of the year, the lights, the giddiness and bringing the family back together after a long time apart was his dream. He had hit homesickness hard when he first went to college and even his mother's phone calls had not been enough to solve it.

But, he had gotten on with his life. After months of moping, he finally made it outside and into the college life. He had gained sudden popularity, most likely because of his large pranks on his roommate Jean, which were no less severe when being thrown back at him.

That didn't lessen his excitement to going home. Despite his boredom, he was still trying to quell that buzz in his stomach as he thought of returning. Along with his parents, Armin would be there- with his grandfather- and Mikasa too, who lived near enough to their parents that she visited every Christmas. And never, ever, managed to make Eren not feel guilty about not going.

He inched forwards, his car jolting as he gave it another shove. Another half an hour later, he had finally managed to pull out onto the smaller roads and down the few blocks it took to reach his parents' house.

It was a small home at first sight but, as child Eren had believed, was a TARDIS on the inside. With three bedrooms, it already managed to impress most visitors, seeing as the exterior consisted of a door and four windows over two, rather thin, floors. The old brick building was crumbling but his mother never failed to make the inside immaculate. She liked cleaning, it passed the time for her now that she had retired. It was a long time now since she had worked at The Survey Corps, retired now for around five years or so, but she never failed to go to the work does. She had a lot of time on her hands and she was insistent on filling it. Eren liked that about her, she never busied herself with a pointless task, everything she did have a meaning but nevertheless, her calendar was packed with things that would be useful to her.

At the business does, she would make new friends and question if there were any small jobs that she could help out with. At home, she made sure the home was always in a perfect state yet warm enough that visitors didn't feel scared to touch things. In the streets, she would compliment strangers and make there day and then go to the far away shop and get the freshest produce for the best dinners.

Carla's cooking was a dream.

That didn't change a thing, though, when it came to how strict she was.

'Eren Jaeger! Where have you been for the last three years! And here I was saying come at four, expecting you to be a little late and then you come at ten anyway!' She stormed up to him, tugging at his ear. 'You mister are not getting any lasagna.' His mother's lasagna was his favourite.

He whined enough that when he got inside, he was gifted a small bowl. Even when reheated, the gooey dish was delicious. His mother, in the end- and after a few persuasive words from his father- gave him a more friendly welcome and they caught up on his college years. He managed to talk for hours without mentioning his pranks once nor about the nagging from his grumpy lecturers.

His mother sounded delighted and at the end of it he had gotten a major in Engineering so, so was he. His father was especially proud. Even with little time, he had taught Eren to be the best. He may have pushed too hard at times but Eren was nevertheless grateful. It had gotten him to where he was.

Armin, his grandfather, and Mikasa arrived when he was about halfway through the meal and gave him a warm welcome before letting him continue with his college stories, Mikasa and Armin holding in laughs when they realised he was missing out big chunks.

They both knew about his shenanigans. He had to brag to someone.

The evening was nice and Eren walked out of the dining room with a beaming smile on his face. There was still a few days until Christmas and Eren was leaving on boxing day but he couldn't wait to spend the upcoming days with his family- Armin and his grandfather included in that mix.

Armin and his grandfather had come not only because of their invitation. When Armin's parents had died and he had been put in his grandfather's care, his grandfather was already a little too old for caring for such a small child. But, over the years, my parents were happy to help and they had spent every Christmas from over a decade ago in the Jaeger family house. They were apart of the family now and that meant helping each other out.

Eren bounded up the stairs at around eleven o'clock, Mikasa in tow. They were sharing his old room, Armin and his grandfather in Mikasa's old bedroom and his parents in their own. The arrangement had always worked and they had never bothered to change it. Even in the small house, there was plenty of room to spare. Although there were no more beds, there were still two seats left at the table and a few armchairs left in the living room. Carla loved all sorts of furniture and had maybe packed the house with a little too much. It only made it cosier.

Eren had nightmares that night. He didn't care anymore. He shouldn't have expected his parents' house to save everything. Despite all the warm feelings, nothing could force the scolding oil to run away. It poisoned him, his mind, with images he didn't want to see.

These weren't normal nightmares. He wasn't normal.

That's what so many people said. That he wasn't a normal kid. Not in a bad way. In a good way. They always thought he was far more well-rounded than any other kid with a determination that was unmatchable by anyone else.

It wasn't because of him, though. It wasn't this world that had made him this way. Those nightmares, those dreams- they were memories. Memories of a life once lived. They showed him images, images of him, somewhere else. Sometime else. It was him but not quite.

He had grown up differently there.

He was determined but undoubtedly slower than the rest of his classmates, he had made up for it in this life by learning all he could. He read and he studied and he did his best. He didn't have the time nor the will in his old life to do that.

All he wanted to do was 'kill all the Titans'.

Now, he laughed at his words. What an impossible dream. He had almost accomplished it. Not quite. The Titans weren't demolished but they were controlled. They were out of the humans' way and by the time he had died, the thirteen-year timer up, his powers had been passed to the next. And like that, the Titans had stayed away.

And now, they were locked away. The Survey Corps did that. They kept it secret. They kept them away. Carla had told him. Carla had told him everything when he spoke of his nightmares. She remembered to. Grisha didn't. Nor did Armin's grandfather.

She said only those who had a reason to remember, remember.

He wondered who else remembered.

He looked down at this hands, searched for scars. Nothing. His palms were clean, of blood and from cuts. He lived in a different world now, he had to remind himself of that. His eyes caught the door, he had the urge to run to his mum, to check she was alive. He pushed it down.

This was what had caused his homesickness. He had learnt ways of dealing with it.

Preferably, walking. Burning muscles and biting morning wind always did well to blind him of his emotions.

Blind him of the images of his mother being torn apart in the jaws of a monster larger than a modern skyscraper.

He threw a t-shirt and jeans on and tugged his flimsy jacket over it. It was late enough that the shops would be open by now but early enough that none of his family would be awake.

His mother would know where he was, anyway. She was the one who had advised that he walked the dreams off.

He stumbled outside blearily, watching as the snow-coated floor soaked his trainers. It would be best to change his shoes but after rustling around his pocket, he had found that he hadn't brought out any keys. He didn't want to risk waking anyone up and decided to continue walking.

Much to his shame.

Five minutes in, he was freezing. Although the snow had stopped falling, the wind hadn't frozen. It blasted into him past ridding himself of memories and to the point where he couldn't remember anything at all. His nose was a violent shade of red and his fingers were frail enough to be broken.

His windbreaker did nothing against anything, his thin t-shirt protecting none of this arms and his jeans too soaked to do anything but make him uncomfortable. This was the coldest he had been since Jean had buried him in snow...on his dorm bed...whilst he was naked.

Looking frightfully around him, Eren was glad he found himself on the high street and immediately flung himself into a generic, independent cafe. The place was warm, at least, but a little bare. But, without hesitation, he ordered a coffee and sat in on a rickety chair, staring at the other three chairs with disdain.

He hadn't brought anything but his phone and he was feeling rather lonely. He couldn't even text anyone. They were all asleep. With a still sleep-muddled brain, he played some brain-killing phone game that only managed to make him more frustrated than he was. But, in time, he had become engrossed- as the apps were made to do- and had failed to see the two people sitting opposite him. One looking mildly confused and the other a little too arrogant, or happy, Eren wouldn't know- he wasn't looking.

The raven-haired man with the steely eyes and arrogant posture coughed obnoxiously and gathered Eren's attention.

Eren looking up, couldn't help but drop his phone, his phone case chipping at the corners. He really needed to get a new one, this one was old and destroyed.

'Hi, brat.'

'Captain.'

Eren stumbled, throwing himself from the dirty wooden stool and onto his feet, his fist managing to reach his heart. A salute. For his captain. The blonde one looked even more confused now.

Eren wished he hadn't been stuck in the habit and had done something better than salute at Levi after all this time. Thousands of years. Thousands of years and all he could muster was a salute. At least with Mikasa and Armin, they had still known each other from birth, even Jean who had followed him to college from the same old town.

He hadn't met anyone else just yet. From what he had heard from Jean, though, he had met Marco- who didn't remember. It was the first person Eren had heard of that was in the 104th squad that didn't remember. He remembered feeling so queasy at the thought.

Only those who had a reason to remember, remember.

Marco didn't remember. He didn't need to. He had been innocent in that life and had died too horribly. It would only ruin him to remember. For Eren, it had made him more determined. For Armin, it had made him insightful. For Mikasa, it had made her more relaxed. For Jean, it had made him more modest.

For Levi, Eren didn't know.

But, Eren was shocked to see the man crack a smile, his raven hair falling back as he didn't make an effort to hide it. It was clear by the dark circles that reminded Eren of his own that Levi had nightmares too. And that glint in his eyes, the one that told him who knew and who didn't.

Who knew of a world 2000 years ago.

Who knew that one and not one of a 1000 years ago.

Or 500.

There were many people who remembered pasts. It was well-known. But, Eren had met very few that could reach as far back a lifetime as 2000 years ago. Most people were born 1000 years from their death. Some 500.

2000, it was often said impossible.

The people who were, didn't come out with it.

They didn't want to be reminded of that time.

A time of blood and monsters.

'Levi.' Eren corrected himself. Levi wasn't his captain in this life, he hadn't been for millennia.

'Eren, glad to see you remember my name.' The words dripped with sarcasm but Eren was too used to it by now to be offended. Although he didn't often see his higher-ups relaxed, he did see Levi crack a joke or few. Even if he never smiled as he did so. The knowing smirk that appeared now definitely helped him recognise it.

The dark, crude humour was something Eren never thought he would experience again.

Then, as if he had forgotten, he turned to the other one. The blonde one. The one without the glint in his eyes and confusion on his face. Eren sat, feeling slightly numb.

'Eren, this is Erwin. Erwin, this is Eren.' They shook hands from across the table. Eren shook hands with his commanding officer. The one who didn't even remember had held that role. Eren was close to vomiting. He didn't know why and he didn't want to know, all he knew it that he was close to hurling into the toilet only metres away, tucked away in a nook at the back of the cafe.

Eren could suddenly feel the chill seep through.

'Nice to meet you.' Eren's voice was dead.

'It's nice to meet you too, Eren.' Erwin sounded much better. Of course he was, he had probably slept the night before. He wasn't plagued with nightmares. He wasn't plagued with images of the slaughter the three of them caused.

They caused a massacre.

And he didn't even remember.

Only those who had a reason to remember, remember.

It echoed like a curse, those words. Those words taught Eren one of his most vital morals. It was being destroyed right in front of him. Because Erwin needed to remember. If not for himself then for the rest of them. Erwin needed to remember.

Maybe it was cruel that Eren wished his pain upon others but he didn't, not quite. He only wished to share his feelings. He could talk to Levi but he wasn't an open person and maybe it would feel weird to talk to either of them about it.

But he couldn't talk to anyone else. They didn't know what it felt like. They didn't know what it felt like to be your fault.

Erwin led people to their deaths. Eren was the monster that caused those deaths. And Levi was the soldier with the largest amounts of kills.

Even if he was killing monsters.

It didn't matter.

Inside those monsters, there were humans.

None of them had ever forgiven themselves.

They talked, quietly at first but soon they were entrapped in a tight conversation. Their heads leaned in and they talked almost urgently, as if everything they had to say would be there last, more important words.

Levi and Eren knit a lie that they had met when Levi was in the military, which in this life- luckily- he actually had been, over in France: his home country. Eren hadn't but he easily replaced the year before his college with military training and then his first year with service.

He had been born in Germany so it was not too hard to conceive that he had worked in France for a while. Erwin wouldn't dare to argue anyway. What was the point in denying what he was being told?

Erwin only fought when there was a fight worth fighting.

'So, brat, anyone else around? Mikasa? Armin?' Eren was surprised to hear their names but he nodded. Erwin quickly leant back and let them have their catch up. Mikasa and Levi may have been cousins in a previous life but it seemed, now, they were not related at all. It made sense, Mikasa's last name had not been Ackerman when they adopted her.

'Yeah, Mikasa- my adopted sister' he made sure to add in the extra information with the least awkwardness possible, 'lives here and Armin is visiting for Christmas, same as me.' Levi nodded politely to show he was listening.

'Jean I met too.' Levi snorted. 'Yeah, we were at college together.' Levi raised an eyebrow, curious.

'Did you beat him up there too?' A sly attack but undoubtedly good jab.

'Kind of...' Eren trailed off, he would rather not talk about the time his fist had connected with Jean's nose. When Jean had tried to kiss him...

Levi smiled again, not wholly, that just wasn't Levi. His lips twitched upwards into an awkward kind of smile. Eren realised, then, just what the memories had done. For Levi, he was determined to be happy in this life.

'I also hear Jean and Marco are going out now!' He interrupted, trying to keep the conversation going. 'How about you, though?' Levi's face fell. He inclined his head almost minutely towards Erwin and Eren got the message. He knew it would be a painful topic for Levi and decided not to confront it.

'Hange was the first person I met, quite a while back now. She bounded up to me, the shitty four eyes, and tried to squeeze the life out of me. But, you know...' He couldn't say she remembered, Erwin would be too suspicious. They were tiptoeing around glass, careful in their word. But, curiosity edged them forwards.

'Petra too.' Levi paused and took a deep breath. He shook his head. She didn't remember. Eren's gut twisted.

Only those who had a reason to remember, remember.

Erwin and Petra should have remembered, for Levi. They should have stopped this pain that was ripping his heart apart, again. In this life, it was clear he was trying to mend himself but with the people he loved most on the other side of a glass wall, the hope was useless.

Petra, the girl who loved Levi, and Erwin, the man who believed Eren and Levi were the key to humanity. The man who trusted them with everyone. The man who, in his own way, loved them both.

So why didn't they remember?!

Eren's eyes flickered up and met Erwin's. It was a match of wills where only one knew what they were fighting for. Blue met green, one full of life and another dull, dulled by clouded memories. A man stuck on the other side of the glass.

Erwin gasped, it wasn't loud, nor all that noticeable. Levi certainly didn't turn around, staring into the cup of tea he had ordered somewhere into their conversation.

Eren started, watching as Erwin grasped his head in one hand and shut his eyes closed tight. 'Erwin...are you-' He was cut off by the loud scrape of Erwin's chair against the floor, making no less than the entire cafe wince.

'Excuse me.' He muttered before practically running to the toilets, locking it before anyone even had a chance to question it. There was only one bathroom, he had privacy now.

Eren tried to ignore the mess and looked back to Levi, whose exhaustion looked much more pronounced with Erwin by his side. Steam billowed into his face but he didn't seem to mind, maybe it was the fact he had killed Titans in another life or maybe it was just a heat resistance he had gained in this one but Eren was sure it wasn't that comfortable.

'Why do you still hang out with him if he doesn't remember?' Eren suddenly blurted, he was never that good at hiding his thoughts. Or his curiosity. He only hoped this time that his curiosity didn't kill him.

Levi didn't speak for a while. He pursed his lips and leant in closer to the steam as if welcoming the distant pain whilst he gathered his thoughts. 'I do it because he's still him. He's almost better, not remembering that. I know you probably feel angry that he doesn't remember. I did, at first. You get used to it, having Petra too and apparently, Hanji only remembered when she saw me... it's not that hard anymore.' Levi looked, if only for a second, vulnerable. Eren had to resist comforting him; he knew it would only be patronising.

'But is Erwin not different? He grew up differently here, I suppose.' Levi shook his head, looking up and meeting Eren's eye.

'He didn't, really. We all knew he grew up well back then, now is no different. He just became a businessman instead of a soldier. Nowadays, the stress is hardly different.' Eren had the energy to snort at Levi's attempt at a joke. It wasn't very funny. Eren had experienced the stress of a soldier, the fear. He was sure nothing could be the same nowadays, even modern warfare. They had guns now, they shot from a distant. They didn't have to fight monsters either or not that same ones, anyway.

'You know, though, Erwin still dreams of his past life.' Eren's attention peaked. He leant in, desperate to hear more. 'He doesn't believe any of them, naturally. He thinks he has a mental illness, waking up with nightmares. I haven't told him that I have them too, it would be too obvious. I'm letting him figure it out on his own. I doubt, with the way things are going now, that he will ever fully know the truth. You have to accept it to see the full picture.' Eren agreed. He had resisted for years but curiosity, as always, had gotten the better of him. He had let himself believe it, his mother had told him it was true. Everything had then fallen into place.

'I guess it's for the best, isn't it?' Eren asked, his maturity seeping through.

'You know, it’s weird seeing you older. It’s better, in a way. You’re not as bratty.' Levi smirked, letting himself taunt the younger boy. Even if now, they weren't all that far apart in age. 'How old are you actually?'

'25.' Eren answered.

'Huh, I'm only 29.' Eren smiled.

'Can I call you a brat now too then?'

'Definitely not.'

Silence fell quickly and effortlessly but there was no need to fill it with speech. They didn't need to catch up. They had spent a lifetime together already, they didn't need to learn another. In simple terms, they were both the same. They could see the new quirks, the little differences but they were still them. Nothing could change that, not even 2000 years.

Eren's head finally snapped up when they heard the toilet door fling open. Erwin looked a mess. His hair was tousled and his eyes looked slightly puffy. Had he been crying? Eren wondered why. He wracked his brains for any sort of explanation and found nothing. He hadn't done anything and he was sure Levi hadn't either.

Although, Levi had mentioned Erwin's fragile state. Maybe the uncertainty was playing with him. Eren couldn't be sure. Until...

Levi looked up and his eyes immediately locked. He stood, formally but swiftly. His hand doing the exact same thing that Eren had done earlier. 'Commander.' Hardly a whisper. A word representing nothing more than shock.

Eren stood frantically, copying Levi. The people in the cafe had stopped to gawk at the awkward trio who were now saluting at a man who had just stopped crying whilst he had locked himself in the bathroom.

Silly in any normal case.

This was not a normal case.

'I remember.' Erwin whispered, taking his seat again. Levi and Eren took that as their cue to sit down and resumed their previous positions.

'Everything? Levi asked skeptically. Erwin didn't answer but nodding his head was enough. 'Wow, Eren, you really made the impression.'

'Huh?' Eren finally let himself look at the two of them, one of which looked rather uncomfortable as he wiped his eyes.

'When I met Hange, she didn't remember. Not for a couple of minutes. I called her shitty glasses and the exact same thing happened. Except she...' he jabbed Erwin's shoulder, '...didn't lock herself in a bathroom and decided to greet me. Even if rather forcefully.' Erwin looked guilty for a second but didn't speak up, accepting the punishment.

'What did I do?' Eren was confused, what could he have said that triggered anything. Or was it just his presence? How did that even work?

'I saw the determination in your eyes.' Erwin didn't look up from the table, his cheeks a violent shade of red. He clearly hadn't gotten over his actions. He had acted a little too like a teenager who had just been told that they were ugly by their crush.

Not that Eren would know what that would feel like.

Totally didn't.

Not at all.

'Huh,' Levi broke the silence, sounding disinterested. He was clearly invested, though, he just had a good poker face. He always had. Then, with sudden intensity, his gaze travelled to Erwin. 'Are you really going to sit there moping? Could you at least cheer up for five minutes so we can have a conversation without you crying at the table.' Erwin looked up, a little shocked. He clearly hadn't heard the brunt of Levi's humour in a while. He wondered how careful Levi was around him before he had remembered.

He wondered how they met.

'Sorry, it's just...' Erwin trailed off and Eren gave him a reassuring smile.

'Don't worry. I remembered when I was sixteen and cried so hard that I blacked out and my mum sent me to hospital.' Eren tried to laugh but the story hit him a little too personally. He knew the others understood, though, when they gave their own attempts at laughs.

'How about we get out of here, brats? This cafe is shit.' Erwin laughed suddenly, his smile becoming more real by the second.

'Oh, so now I'm a brat too?'

'Of course, you're younger than me now.' Levi smirked and pushed himself up, leaving Erwin and Eren to catch up behind him. Despite his short stature that he retained, he walked fast.

'You're younger than him?' Eren asked with sudden curiosity. He had always assumed Erwin was much older but even then, he didn't really know.

'By two months. He still doesn't let it go. I kind of understand why now.' Erwin's eyes weren't looking at Eren. He was staring right through him. It was an odd feeling, to know the person you are speaking to it looking at a different world but Eren didn't mind. He needed to let Erwin adjust. This would all be very sudden.

'You're going to understand a lot of things now.' Eren spoke cryptically. It was true, though. All those little things that never quite made sense clicked into place. The feelings that weren't quite his. The emotions that didn't quite correlate to current situations. Waking up in the middle of the night with no recollection of a present world, only one which you believe is your own cruel imagination.

They followed Levi little more than a block or two before they found themselves in a park. The sun was still rising and the chill was beginning to quell but Eren still had to stuff himself into his jacket to retain his warmth.

'I can't believe I met you guys,' Eren muttered under his breath. 'It seems unreal. I mean, I never thought it was impossible but...I just...I never thought it would happen.' Eren stared at the snow-laden trees and watched as the brisk wind threw white upon white and lifted up the frail ground, a beautiful bomb of snow.

'I'm sorry that you had to remember now, though, Erwin. This late. I've learnt to accept it by now but I remember when I first got those memories. I remember how much it hurt.' Eren tried to be kind about it, tried not to sound too direct or rude. He couldn't know just how vulnerable Erwin was right now. He could be anything from obsidian to dust.

'It hasn't settled in just yet. It's as if I've been told the whole plot of a book but haven't read it yet. I know I should feel guilty and don't deny that I should. I'm the reason thousands died, I made that happen. But, I don't. Not yet.' Erwin didn't meet either of their eyes. He was still sorting it all out. He was trying to read the book faster than his brain could process. He was frustrated.

'You know, I have known ever since I was born. I grew up with thoughts far more mature than was I was. I ran away from the shit bag Kenny when I was six and went to find the Titans. I was set on it. It took me another fifteen years to accept that that just wouldn't happen.' Levi somehow managed to ignore the fact that he had lived alone since he was six; he didn't like dwelling on it. He only ever talked about it in passing, he saw no reason to do anything but that.

'Titans are still on here, you know?' Two pairs of eyes snapped to him at once. 'That's what the Survey Corps do. They hide them away.' Erwin suddenly laughed out loud, almost unlike him. It was abrupt and bordering on rude.

'It all makes sense.' The statement was vague and only made to confuse the shorter pair more. 'At Survey Corps, they picked me not because I was good but because I was Commander. They kept on talking about the things they were locking away. I assumed it was criminals. I wondered why they never told me. Shadis, he runs the institution. He must have been waiting for me to remember.' Eren gaped at him. He shouldn't have been surprised, really, that Erwin had landed at the Survey Corps again, no doubt in a high rank if he was wondering why secrets were being kept from him. 'I should probably get there, work started five minutes ago. I'm sure Shadis wouldn't mind but I don't think I've ever been late before.' Erwin stood up, turning back to the other pair who still hadn't had a chance to put a word in. Erwin looked tense, not yet comfortable with Levi and Eren. What he had once seen was being distorted, he needed to let his eyes adjust.

And, they would let him.

'If you need to call me, Levi you have my number.' With that, he walked off briskly as if they were mere strangers and nothing more.

'That is the weirdest thing I have ever experienced.' Eren muttered, confusing contorting his face.

'I have to agree.'

Another silence fell and they sat in the cold, getting lost in their thoughts. 'You know, I've wanted to ask this for a while but I felt like I shouldn't but...are you and Erwin, you know, a thing?' Silence fell again and for a second, Eren thought Levi wasn't listening but the hostility held in his posture was clear that Levi had very much heard.

'You're right, you shouldn't have asked but if you need to know, no. Just friends.' Something in that made Eren believe there was much more to it than 'just friends'.

'Sorry... anyway. I should get back too. My mum will be wondering where I am.' Eren smiled and stood up, brushing the imaginary dust off his jeans.

'God, you sound like a bloody teenager again.' Levi purposefully held back on making a mum joke. Eren would most likely still be sensitive about it.

Eren laughed and gave him a gentle smile, waving timidly before scurrying off, leaving Levi sitting alone on the bench. He didn't seem like he was going to move anytime soon. If Levi had retained anything like Eren had, it would be the love of outdoors. Levi had always wanted to ride a horse, as had Eren but both had had their setbacks. Levi didn't have the money. Carla thought it was better that Eren avoided things from his past life.

But, the love of outdoors never left. The rush of wind in your hair and the sun beating down on your skin. Levi had grown up underground in another life and even in this one, he still savoured the sun, even if it was masked by clouds.

But with that, Eren returned home, back to the warmth of his childhood home where Carla lectured him for staying out so long but ushered him in eagerly to check he was okay. He decided not to mention Erwin or Levi, not yet.

-

Erwin looked far better than the day before. Despite the familiar bags under his eyes, all too similar to the ones both Levi and Eren wore with shameful pride, he looked more alert and more accepting of his fate.

If Erwin could do anything, it was to adjust to the circumstances. He didn't dwell. Or, at least, he didn't look like he did. Eren didn't know much about Erwin's private life. Even the strongest of men could be weak when left alone but Eren trusted that Levi was there for him even if they were 'just friends'.

Something within Eren burned to fill Levi's role.

'Hi!' Eren waved from his seat, lighting up the room with a bright smile, a flash of teeth as part of a toothy grin.

'You're certainly more cheery today.' Levi didn't sound too happy about that. Or was he faking it? The lines between sarcasm and reality were blurring again.

'Well, you caught me at a time that isn't six in the morning this time. And! It's Christmas tomorrow!' Eren felt far too excited for the upcoming holiday as he looked at the other two men sitting opposite him, one sporting an almost smug grin and the other a scowl that could surely kill him. 'And your birthday, Levi. Couldn't forget that, could we?' Eren taunted. If there was one thing he had learnt about Levi in his past life was that he hated his birthday with a passion. The reasons were never quite given but Eren could only hope it hadn't been as deep knit as self-hatred.

'Ugh, don't remind me.' Levi scoffed, folding his arms defensively and motioning over a distant waiter.

'But Levi, I thought you loved your birthday?' Eren snorted as Erwin leant forward and batted his eyelids like some little girl. Holding his laughs behind one hand, Eren watched the interaction. It was amazing to see Erwin so relaxed already. Surely it was just a distraction from the night terrors. Maybe it was. But, Eren was still glad that he got to saw some happiness from Erwin. Even if it did come from taunting his friend.

Levi whacked his tall friend, hard. Erwin clearly was used to it, though, he hardly flinched. Eren wasn't surprised. Nor would he be surprised to learn that Erwin's arm was made of only muscle. Seeing the man again now, more alert, he took it in. He took both of them.

His superiors.

Dare he call them attractive?

Levi with his dark looks and an aura so mysterious that you could barely see through the black smog. Whilst Erwin, bright but intimidating- tall yet relaxed. Imposing yet calm.

They set Eren on edge in the very same way they relaxed him. Eren was conflicted, something about them messed with his mind. He realised it was the two world colliding into one.

In an old life, he had been afraid of them. He had respected them, yes, but he couldn't say he thought of them as any more than his superiors. Now, there was something far different. Friendship. He felt like a friend, an old friend. A very old friend.

'Eren?' Erwin broke Eren from his thoughts, waving a hand gently in front of his face with a small smile on his face. Eren faltered as he looked up, his eyes focusing on his lips. The smile, if it could even be called that, was faltered. Erwin was putting on a show.

Eren didn't mention because as he met his eyes, the smile flashed back again. Real, this time. They locked eyes and both smiled. 'You zoned out for a bit then, you okay?' Erwin asked kindly, his voice informal but nevertheless polite.

'Yeah, I'm just... still getting used to this is all.' Erwin's chuckle reverberated around the thin walls, bouncing back at them with as much warmth as it left with.

'Aren't we all?' Erwin didn't look upset by it, though. Maybe there was something Eren was missing, something he had never had himself. Acceptance. Erwin had found the truth but he had welcomed it rather than pushed it away.

That was where he was more clever than the rest of us. He knew which battles to fight and this wasn't one of them. This was a miracle and he would make the most of it, Eren realised that. They all had the knowledge of two worlds, even if they conflicted at times. There were ways to work around that.

Eren found himself accepting it too.

Erwin really was messing with his head.

'Oh shut up. Don't start on all that sappy stuff because I know you're going there.' Levi warned, pointing an accusatory finger at his friend, his raven hair shuffling ominously over his eyes.

It no longer scared Eren; it was like watching a puppy growl.

Eren laughed and brushed his hair away before scraping for new topics. His mind came up blank apart from one very generic topic. It would do. 'So, what are you guys doing for Christmas?' Levi huffed but Eren seemed to have gained Erwin's attention.

'Not much. I mean, Levi refuses to celebrate but neither of us has anywhere to go unless I want to go all the way to the UK to see my father. It's not worth the effort. So we'll probably just watch some films and I'll at least cook a turkey.' Levi looked put off by the idea so did Eren.

'You can't just not celebrate Christmas! That's not allowed!' Eren argued, his arms flailing dramatically in the air.

'What else do we have to do?' Erwin shrugged nonchalantly and Levi looked at least a bit pleased that Erwin had given up almost as much as he had.

'Come to mine! We have room at the table! My mum would surely be happy to have you over. You probably know her, Erwin. She worked in the Survey Corps for over a decade.' Eren smiled at his new found plan, chuffed with himself.

'Who is she?' Eren forgot that neither of them had actually ever met his mother. She had been such a strong force in both of his lives that he hadn't even thought about it.

'Carla Jaeger.' Eren smiled. He was always proud to say his mother's name. It had almost become a statement that she was still alive. It didn't make all that much sense, he would say her name even after he died. But it made her human. It made her there. A force in his life.

Erwin gasped quietly. 'Cara Jaeger is your mother?' Eren nodded. 'Wow, you're right. I know Carla. Well, in fact. I know Grisha too.' Erwin clenched his head for a second. 'This all feels very weird. Do you think she knew who I was?' Eren nodded and shrugged.

'Probably. She knows a lot about you two. I idolised you as a kid, you know? Not here but there. You two were the strongest people in the world.' Levi smiled, his hair not quite hiding the light rosiness of his cheeks. Erwin only chuckled again, his voice deep and rumbling.

'I'm not that surprised. When we asked you to join the Survey Corps, you didn't put up a fight.' Eren smiled shyly.

'I wanted to join since I was about eight. Even if the circumstances were bad, there was no way I was letting that opportunity down.'

'Well, I'm glad. You did a good job.' Erwin smiled down at him, warm and kind. The Erwin here was different to the Erwin then. He had lost the knowledge that he wasn't allowed to love, that he couldn't love. In this world, he could do what he wanted. He could seize the world and fall in love at the very same time.

Eren knew that in this world, if he wanted to be, Erwin would be unstoppable.

And, Levi would be the same. Levi had always been that way.

'We all did.' He paused. 'I'm going to text my mum, ask her about tomorrow.' He smiled and pushed himself from the table, his phone in hand.

'Are you sure, kid?' Levi interrupted, looking unsure. Eren understood Levi was the stranger in all this. But, he was sure he would fit in just fine. Even if the tension between him and Mikasa would never dull below a thousand.

'I'm not a kid anymore, you know. And yeah, I'm sure. Although, I can't say you'll be getting any gifts this late.' Eren shrugged and went to walk away outside where the service was better and he wouldn't interrupt anyone with his loud chatter. He always talked loudly down the phone.

'The only gift we need is you.' Erwin winked. Eren didn't look back as he rushed off.

-

Carla was delighted to have two more people at the table. She always had too much food, anyway. It was early when the family woke up on Christmas day and Carla seemed as excited as Eren was. She had been delighted when Eren had told her.

'Erwin! I haven't seen him in years! I'm so glad he remembers! And Levi! I've heard so much about him!' Eren couldn't say Mikasa's reaction was the same. She had given little more than an annoyed grunt when Levi had been mentioned. She respected the man as much as Eren but that didn't mean that his rude, abrasive way of speech didn't set her on edge. She had, at least, perked up a little when Erwin had been mentioned. Now him she had much more respect for.

Armin was delighted although he showed it with a little more restraint. He had always looked up to Erwin. In a world of uneducated, they were two of the few people that knew anything more than how to read. And Levi had led them through peril after peril as the team leader and they had almost always come out of it alive. Erwin had sacrificed himself for Armin and Levi had let Armin live to the fullest afterward, not holding any grudges.

Eren could admit, though, behind the happiness he could see the fear that still resided in Armin. Erwin really had died for him, in his place. All because the three of them had been selfish. Eren knew from the moment Erwin remembered, though, that he held it against none of them. And, neither did Levi.

It was the past.

And, with what Armin accomplished after his death, he might even say it was worth it. Not that he knew that, not yet. But, Eren doubted Erwin didn't think Armin was capable of great things.

Grisha and Armin's grandfather were still asleep when the doorbell rang, a little past nine o'clock in the morning. Eren was ecstatic. They were just on time.

Eren rushed to answer the door, opening with a gleeful grin. He beamed, as always. There were too many reasons to be happy in this life and he made sure to show it. He suffered enough in this life but in comparison, it was like a paper cut in comparison to being gutted.

Erwin and Levi stood there, as presentable as ever, both in casual wear that looked far too good on them. Erwin in his Christmas sweater that was neither cheap nor tacky and Levi in his black t-shirt and trench coat. Eren wondered where he got one in his size. The woman's section, maybe. Eren laughed at the thought.

'You brought gifts?!' Eren exclaimed as he looked down to the three perfectly wrapped boxes in each of their hands- six, in total.

'One for all of you, for letting us stay.' Erwin smiled one of those smiles that could send anyone to the floor below their feet. Since when had Erwin pulled out these cards? Was he... flirting? Eren didn't dwell and ushered them inside, out of the cold, and told them where to put their shoes and coats.

Levi looked around pleased. Carla had put extra effort into cleaning the day before. Eren had told many stories about Levi's clean-freakish nature and with that in mind, Carla was happy to get her hands dirty and clean the place top to bottom under the pretense that a 'tidy home is a tidy mind'.

Carla rushed out of the kitchen to greet the new guests. 'Erwin!' She exclaimed, her smile ever so similar to Eren's. Identical, almost. She pulled the much taller man into a hug and pushed herself back onto the tip of her toes. 'It's so nice to meet you, it's been too long! And congratulations on...' She didn't have to say it out loud, resorting to tapping her head ominously before moving onto Levi, who looked far from comfortable as he was wrapped into a hug.

'I'm Carla. I've been told a lot about you, Levi.' She smiled and then, as if a light had been switched, her face darkened. 'I want to thank you both for looking after Eren before now. I am glad that he joined the Survey Corps and I'm glad that you were there for him.' Before either could reply, the smile was back on her face and she was bounding out of the room.

All three of them had just had some sort of emotional whiplash.

It was another few hours when they all sat at the table, everyone now present. Erwin and Levi took the two chairs on one side of Eren whilst his mother and Armin's grandfather took the heads of the table and the rest opposite the trio. Eren was still curious as to why Carla had forced Mikasa to sit opposite Levi. Maybe she recognised the tension. But then, why didn't she split them?

'So, how did you three meet?' Grisha asked politely, Erwin and Levi had already been told that he didn't remember and they were glad. None of them wanted to speak to the Grisha of the past. Erwin's view of him was far too distorted and Levi knew too much of the truth. It was for the best.

Only those who had a reason to remember, remember.

'It was at the gym, actually. A couple of years back. We have kept in touch ever since.' Carla grinned at Erwin's well-made lie. All three of them clearly went to the gym and it was quite plausible that they had met there. Grisha would know no better. Eren wondered if Erwin had rehearsed the line. Eren wouldn't have been able to make anything half as plausible up.

'Yeah, we've known each other far too long.' Levi butt in slyly, the words meaning a thousand things more than it appeared.

'Way too long.'

It went unsaid just how long that was.

 


	8. The Odds Are Never In Your Favour

Eren resisted the urge to scratch at his skin under the itchy fabric that was his dress shirt. He had to dress nice, his mother had told him. His father hadn't said a word. Hadn't wanted to say a word.

He had entered himself eight times.

Eight times for the world's most deadly competition: The Hunger Games.

His father was a teacher and Eren wasn't dumb but, still, they were short on food as of late- his mum made little to none making her dresses nowadays. There were plenty of others taking the job and the market was far too competitive. So, Eren got the money from entering and bought them enough food to last a month and maybe more if...if Eren got chosen.

He didn't want to get chosen. No one did. Everyone knew your chances of dying if you were chosen was over 90%, everyone knew that it was a massacre, they all knew that it was just a way to keep the rebels at bay.

Eren had never dressed up before except for the choosing ceremony. He had never enjoyed it, the woollen trousers scratching at his burnt legs and his uncomfortable shirt now clinging to him far too tight after a few too many years of wear.

Fifteen-years-old and Eren was about to be sent to his slaughter. Or, at least, it was probable.

'Eren! Get out here now or we're going to be late!' No one dared be late for the ceremony. Eren, after sprinting down the crooked wooden staircase, stood in front of his mum, presenting his outfit. Although she wasn't entirely pleased, she didn't send him back up. With little time on their hands, they had to go and now.

Grisha would meet Carla there whilst Eren went to line up with the rest of the boys from District 8. They walked out, side by side, drawing as much attention as the next mother-child pair on their way to the stage, winding their way through the billowing smoke that the factories pumped out day and night.

Eren no longer knew whether his skin was dark by nature or by circumstance.

They still had a little time to spare by the time they reached the venue and Eren gave his mum no more than a quick hug before joining the rest of his friends in the line, chattering away to try and cover the morbidity of it all. Eren may have put his name in eight times but no doubt some had put theirs in far more. It was a game of chance now, one that anyone could win.

The flipping stomachs could also be heard as each and every child, whether against their will or not, gripped onto the hand of their neighbours and prayed that it would not be them.

It wouldn't be Eren.

He was safe, he reassured himself.

'Welcome to the choosing ceremony for the 38th Hunger Games!' The commentator suddenly shouted. What was supposed to cause excitement only stilled the audience into silence. It was finally time.

Sighing, the lady- her wig as flamboyant as it was every year- went over to the ball, spinning it five times before pausing it with a gloved hand- the gems reflecting eagerly into Eren's eyes, even through the smoke.

As she dipped her hand in, Eren expected it to never come out. She spent minutes flicking through the pages, ones that Eren even recognised as his own. Missed. His chances of survival were gaining.

And then, with an ugly flourish, the woman pulled her hand out and waved the ticket in the air. 'The male tribute for District 8 will be...' A pause, the speakers that had been set up the night before playing an obnoxiously loud drum roll. '...Eren Jaeger!'

He was as good as dead.

Eren walked up to the stage as if the floor was poison. His mind reeled, he didn't even have time to comprehend what was going on. As he turned, he saw his mother crying- his father trying to console her. Nothing would work. They had just lost their son.

The woman on the stage, smiling with cracked lips- dried from years worth of never taking her lipstick off- took his hand and held it high, congratulating him with a false sense of security before tottering over to the girls' batch of names.

Ironic how much it was like a raffle, as if the winner would get something that would change their life.

It would. It would end it.

'Mina Carolina.' Eren hadn't realised he wasn't listening until the girl's name had been called out. The girl looked like she was about to cry, her black pigtails falling out of the tight grips her mother had forced them into. Her outfit, charred from smoke- her parents must have worked in the factories if her state was anything to go by- looked torn and muddy but she held her head high as she walked up to the stage, giving Eren nothing more than a glance as she took the woman's other hand as she raised them both into the air.

Just like they were already victorious. But, all the crowd knew, neither of these tributes were strong enough to win. A young boy with a life far better than most his district and a girl who let a tear stray just at being chosen.

They were going to die and the audience had sealed their fate.

-

'Levi, get the fuck down here, NOW!' Kuchel screamed as Levi rolled out of bed. He peered outside, it was well into the day. Wracking his mind for any sort of clue as to why his mother was screaming at him, he stilled. It was the choosing ceremony today.

And he was definitely going to be late.

'Shit!' He called out loud enough for his mother to hear, throwing on his formal clothes. Sixteen-years-old and he still had the same clothes as from when he was ten, watching his sister- Lani- wait to be chosen. She had been.

She had come second.

Dead whether she came second or last.

After that, no matter the situation, Kuchel- his mother- had never let him put his name in more than once. This year was no different. Their frames were small, bones protruding- their ribcages showing. They hadn't eaten properly in months but as long as Levi was alive, Kuchel didn't care at all.

Levi had to live.

She wouldn't lose another child. Or anyone.

First, her husband, second her daughter and her son was still at risk. No wonder she hated the capital, no wonder Levi hated the capital. They wouldn't attend if they didn't know that they would be whipped for doing so.

They had seen that before too.

Kuchel's brother, Kenny, tied to a post and whipped for not attending with his daughter. The daughter had been spared, leading to an extra ten strikes for her father. Kenny was strong, though, and now rather punctual.

District 11, only one district from being the most hated of all of them. Agriculture, that was their job. Levi had fun plowing whilst his mum harvested. Day and night, until the blisters on their hands bled and they had to rest.

Apart from today. Today was so different. So scary in such a different way. Levi's stomach flipped as he pulled on his shoes and met his mother by the door before they scurried out without a word. The streets were already desolate. The words 'late' ringing loudly in Levi's head.

They made it a minute before the gates shut. By then, if you were late, punishment would be dished out.

Levi was pushed to the back of the queue, not able to see above the rows of far taller boys in front of him. He was still the height he was when he was twelve. Stilted growth, a side effect of not eating properly. Even by those standards, he was small, a few inches shorter than his own mother.

He could still hear the speakers, though, the loud music echoing throughout the square- one of the few places that weren't full of crops or the small shacks that people resided in. Their house consisted of three rooms: the main room and two bedrooms. Both barely furnished. They had burnt most of the furniture for heat.

Levi peered over to see his mother muttering to herself in the crowd of parents, her hands linked and her head bowed. She was praying like she did every year. Like she did when Lani had stood directly opposite where Levi stood.

The woman on the stage began to talk, Levi still couldn't see her, his only sight three profusely sweating boys, probably older than him, standing silently- as all of them- waiting for the verdict.

No one wanted to be chosen here.

Levi couldn't claim to be any different. He felt the sweat stain his clothes and his wash the mud off his hands which had long since been clean. There was no time to be clean when farming, much to Levi's dismay. He had always had a wish for cleanliness, maybe it had come from his lack of it. He tried not to dwell. In these further districts, maybe in all the districts, to dwell on what you don't have was to ensure a life of misery.

Levi pushed it from his mind.

'The male tribute for District 11 is...' the drum roll hurt everyone's ears. By now, Levi could almost hear his mother's prayers. Tears were already seeping from her eyes as if she knew what was about to happen before he did. 'Levi Ackerman!' His mother collapsed. Everyone knew Lani here, in the last ten years, she had been one of two to get to the top three, another coming in third. No one had been the victor.

Levi's body tensed. Everything had gone silent. A hundred pairs of eyes were on him. Walking up to the stage, he almost slipped. A few hesitant laughs rang out. Despite his strength, one that most of the kids here had gained from years worth of helping out parents or- for the older ones- real work, he was still the short-kid. He was still the weakest link.

He had only entered his name once.

Was this karma?

The female tribute was no better than him. She looked strong, at least. They both were warriors, they knew that. But Levi, with his scary looks, would never get the vote of the public. And the girl, Ilse Langnar, would die. Die because she didn't look determined, she looked afraid. Everyone knew the victors were the determined ones.

Or the lucky ones.

Lani was both. Lani, his sister, had come second, though. Levi thought of her, his scowl turning into a mute smile. He would try and win this, for her and for his mother who was looking at him with tear-stained cheeks.

'Stay alive.' She mouthed before another woman, a mum no doubt, dragged her away to calm down.

Levi was alone now and he was determined to live.

-

'Mother, are you ready?' Erwin called out, his outfit immaculate and his voice perfected. Today was the day of choosing and, with all his heart, he wanted to be chosen. Of course, the chances of dying did give him some restraints but after putting his name in for so long- now being seventeen- he wished that this year would be the year.

He would be the first to be chosen and the fact alone delighted him.

He couldn't wait.

He wanted to know what it was like to fight, what it did to the people in it. He wanted, most of all, to know what the capital was like. And, more importantly, why he was not there.

It wasn't a sense of self-entitlement that gave him this but rather his over-ambitious vengeance that he had held since he was young. Not many knew of his father and for good reason.

His father had lived until Erwin was eight. He was then slaughtered in front of Erwin's eyes because of his 'research'. His research to what was beyond the district's walls. District people weren't supposed to know anything and most didn't argue. But, Erwin's father- and now Erwin- had been different. They wanted knowledge, craved it.

But it was always held away from him.

But, if he were to become a victor, the world would open up to him. He could change it or he could die trying. For his father, for himself. No matter how nervous that made his mother. Erwin's sister, who was barely eleven, would keep her company but that was not enough as his mother had argued.

Erwin, whilst listening, ignored her pleas and had entered his name thirty times- giving them enough money to last by themselves. His mother was a hair stylist but had long since lost taste for the job and it had left Erwin to do the work as a goldsmith, well paid and highly regarded but also, unfortunately, highly boring.

His mother, with his sister in tow, rushed out of the room and smoothed down her dress as she stood in front of Erwin. 'There is no turning back now, is there?' Erwin shook his head, he had entered his name too many times already. But, District 1 did have a few people that were willing to go in more so than any other. Other districts put in their names out of necessity, for 1, though, it was more for personal reasons.

Although, Erwin would like to consider himself unique. He wasn't an arrogant man but District 1 had taught him at least certain aspects of how to act and, in par with the Capitol, it was rather pompous.

Erwin left with his mother and sister following him, none of them paying attention to each other as they took the small walk to the town hall, a mass of stone buildings that had been decorated for the event. Erwin was glad to see that he towered over most the tributes as he tucked himself into an empty space and left his mother without a goodbye.

They hadn't been on good terms since his father died and despite her persistence for him to stay home, he wasn't sure whether it was for her or simply because his sister would miss him.

His sister had never known their father, being born just before he died. She didn't understand what it was like and in turn had turned out how most of District 1 turned out. Erwin didn't hate her for it but it tended to leave a gaping hole between them. One that his sister was often adamant at filling but failing every time.

Erwin gave her every chance he could but it was clear now that they were never going to be as close as she hoped.

Erwin almost smiled at his thoughts. He really did sound arrogant at this point. It was not his place to think like this yet he could not help but think through the situation logically. His relationship with his family was broken beyond repair and he had accepted that. He had always been better when independent. Less guilt.

Erwin already held to much guilt on his shoulders.

He still blamed himself for what happened.

The speakers suddenly boomed as a lady on the stage introduced herself. Erwin didn't bother to learn her name. He would only need to if he got in. As he watched over the heads of the younger people in front of him, he waited patiently for the woman to begin the selection and spin the box.

With gloved hands, the woman span to box and picked out a single piece of paper from it and announced: 'the male tribute for District 1 is...' a pause far longer than was necessary, 'Erwin Smith!' His grin looked devilish as the crowds parted for him and he made his way to the stage.

He had misjudged the district, it seemed. So many of them looked relieved not to be chosen, only a few looking even remotely dismayed. They had been saved from a terrible death and Erwin knew that. It didn't stop him. Erwin was determined and was not scared of death.

He was only scared of living a life that was not worth living it.

And this was about to secure that.

The girl was called quickly and efficiently and Erwin smiled as he saw his partner. Although small in stature, he could see immediately that this girl was not to be meddled with.

Annie Leonhart, the girl with the same glint in her eyes as his. A great partner. And a great enemy. But nothing, nothing, was going to get in the way of Erwin because he would not die a pointless death or live a pointless life.

Everything he did meant something.

And this was just another chapter in his book.

-

The train rolled up at all the districts at thirty-minute intervals. Each tribute would be on the same train but given dedicated carriages and were not to mingle with the other Districts until training began.

Eren didn't care to talk anyway. District 8 was little into the journey and it would be a few hours until they arrived but Eren didn't want to do anything as trivial as talking to people in a situation like this. He knew his chances and he had reaped what he had sewn. It didn't mean he wasn't bitter about it, though.

The sleek train contrasted with the blur of graffiti that they passed. Cruel slogans of rebels and crude words were painted on wall after wall and Eren wondered how some people even managed to get to the rail line. It was guarded heavily, he saw, as they approached the tunnel that led him from his own district to District 7.

Eren took his eyes from the window and examined the cabin. It was clean, cleaner than anything he had ever seen. He had never left District 8, this would be the first time. District 8 was poor, not the poorest, he recognised that but they clearly weren't favoured by the Capitol.

Mina sat across from him, fiddling with her dark hair as she gazed out the other side. She had already cried, her face a deep red and faint streaks lining her face. She looked like she was about to cry again. Jean, their mentor, wasn't all that helpful in that department.

Or any department, really.

Eren had no idea how he was a victor.

Jean Kirstein won the 29th Hunger Games after leaving his group to kill each other off, along with the rest of them. He had one out of luck, hiding in a cave until everyone was dead. He didn't kill a single person in the whole extravaganza. Coward. Eren scowled as the man picked at his nails and rested his feet on the table.

He certainly had learnt the Capitol's disrespect.

He was only here because the Capitol thought it was for the best that Mina and Eren didn't last too long. District 8 had been causing trouble for them and giving them the most worthless victor was within their parameters.

They were only giving one mentor between two this year, changing it up for the views. Although, it wasn't as if anyone didn't watch the Hunger Games. But, performance was key for the Capitol- they had to keep their citizens entertained. And the Districts fearful.

'Are you not going to give us, like, some sort of advice that will help us live?' Eren voiced, his legs tensing unwillingly as they lay on the sofa when Jean turned, his face murderous.

'You're not going to win so why should I?' Mina had started crying again but Eren and Jean paid her no attention. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. If only they had a female victor- despite often being ruthless, the woman, at least, had some empathy. The men tended to be, more often than not, brutes.

'You shouldn't have lived yet you did so give the advice, horse-face.' Eren spat, throwing his legs from their resting place and staring at Jean with the most intense glare he could muster. If he was going to die, he would at least do it with dignity and not wait to be murdered along with the rest of the cowards that had been chosen.

Levi, on the other hand, was willing to remain silent as his mentor chatted away with far too much vigour. Hanji Zoe had been a buzzing ball of energy since Levi and Ilse had been pushed onto the train, being told that the journey would be long since they were only the second people on. She had won years ago now, somewhere within the early-second-decade of the event. She was getting old but it didn't lessen her enthusiasm. Although, it was undeniable that she had won for a reason.

She was smart, really smart. An intellect and a fighter both in one, willing to give up her life for research. Something that was looked down on nowadays. Intellect led to rebellion and Hanji, if it were to happen, would be the leader of it.

She had remained passive for now but she did talk badly about the Capitol but in that, she also gave the best advice. Ilse and Levi listened intently and didn't put in a word as they listened to the rambling. Nothing had ever been more important in their lives. 'Whatever you do, get supplies. It is extremely dangerous and only the maniacs really do it but it works. You're both short, it gives you an advantage: agility. Avoid any attacks and grab whatever you can, it does not matter what it is. It could be a bow and you may not be able to use a bow but learn to. The training is even more key then. Be well-rounded. Too many people focus on specific aspects but a victor is either lucky or skilled and I would rather it be skill that you won because of and not luck. District 11 is looked down upon but I can see it, you both are going to do well.' Hanji finished off with a smile at both of them. Ilse, despite looking afraid, held her head high and nodded, taking each and everything into account. Levi had been listening for the most part too, giving himself certain objectives off what she said. Of course, he would fail on a few aspects but training himself in as many aspects as possible would do him good.

Ilse and Hanji began to talk again as Levi stalked off, taking a seat on a sofa by a large window, showing him the billowing factories outside. They were in District 8 by now and the train had stopped to pick up the next load of people. Another two that Levi would have to kill.

He could already feel his ruthlessness come out. These people were objects to him now, he had to murder them all. Even Ilse. He could not stop and spare her just because of their origins. To live was to kill now and he was training his mind perfectly.

Just as Erwin had already trained his mind. Erwin was the last to get on the train, they were not less than forty-five minutes away from the Capitol but it gave him enough time, alongside Annie, to talk to their mentor: Mike.

His advice was short but useful and both of District 1's tributes listened carefully, weighing their options and strategies. 'Erwin, brute strength will be your way in, train in that and train hard, versatility is unnecessary if you can kill in one blow. Annie, focus on agility, you're small, fast and clever, use that to your advantage. If I were you two, I would work as a team. A strong and agile pairing is the best.' Erwin and Annie nodded as Mike continued to talk, taking glances at each other every now and then.

They would not work together, they knew that from the beginning. They were two different, their chemistry minimal. There was no trust. Neither of them had any trust to give. They would be the lone wolves and they were proud to be that.

The Capitol rolled up faster than either of them could have expected, though, and Erwin almost sneered as he watched the flowing water and gleaming buildings. If District 1 was rich, he did not know what to call the Capitol. It had a monopoly over the world and gained more money simply for having the capital and enterprise to do it and a labour source consisting of twelve districts to do their bidding.

Annie looked impassive as she followed Erwin's gaze out of the window as the train rolled over the last bridge and into the Capitol's train station, where the public and media waited to get their shot of the 24 new warriors that were to compete.

None of them realised that they were looking out of the window at the same, looking at the same thing with the same determination and hatred towards the place that was their leader. Three boys, some older than others but all far too young to fight, staring at what they couldn't have- all for the sake of being murdered for entertainment.

-

Training began sooner rather than later. Between costume fittings and evening television shows, training was where they all spent their time. Everyone's approach varied but with tables set out in all useful areas, the people in each area mostly evened out.

Levi, upon seeing the room, worked his way from left to right whilst Ilse worked in the other direction, both having a go at all the stations and testing which was their worst and then, rather than ignoring it, working on it. It was a good strategy, Levi found. As his eyes darted around the room, he saw people's strengths and he knew how to exploit him whilst the others only knew what he was bad at. He would be seen as the weakest link and then, when it came to that time, he could take them all down in a blink.

It was perfect.

At this point, he found his only true competitor was Ilse whose approach was the same as his. But, when he found himself at the axe-throwing station, he changed his mind. Erwin Smith- arrogant, pompous and an all-round douchebag- was not hesitating in showing off. But, heaven help them, he was good. Levi couldn't help but stare as the man threw the axe further than ten metres with little more than a grunt. It hit the centre of the target just as was demonstrated by the trainer and, when Levi believed it was only luck, he did it again. And again. And again.

'What district are you from?' Levi suddenly spoke up, speaking for the first time since the train. He was the dark horse and people stood to attention at the sound of his voice, deep and menacing he liked to believe. Erwin's smug smile almost froze him in place as he spoke: 'One.' Of course, what other district could such an arrogant man come from.

And yes, maybe Levi did feel a bit bitter that this man was about a foot taller than him.

'Tch.' Levi turned and threw his own axe. He admitted, he was strong. The axe flew easily to the target but his accuracy was off, falling upon the second ring of the target rather than the middle. Erwin's face almost made Levi throw the axe into it but against his better judgement, he stood still and threw again.

On target.

A patronisingly impressive whistle.

That was the moment Levi stalked away, going to the accuracy section where he would practice with an arrow. His aim had to improve. Because he was going to win and he wouldn't let the wall of muscle get to him.

Erwin, watching Levi leave, didn't stray from his station. He threw the axe over and over again until his muscles burned. He had been to a few of the other stations and had found them useless. The climbing frame was easy to complete with his long limbs and the bow and arrow section proved just how much he lacked in skill in the area and he had soon given up and proved his worth in the axe section.

He needed to prove he was strong. It would cause people to stray far from him and then, he could let the others kill each other off until it came to the final battle where no doubt, strength would win. Logic was important to Erwin and he had calculated the risks. He wasn't stupid, his intellect was unmatchable and he knew what he was doing. He was a strategists and he understood, whilst looking around the room, that most people had the right idea of what to do. Except District 8. His eyes watched carefully as the wide-eyed teen stumbled around the room in search of something, anything, that would help him.

He looked like a deer in the headlights.

To be exact, Eren was stumped. He looked at each and every section with confusing and a lack of knowledge. Jean had not said a word since they had arrived and Mina hadn't turned up. She was the only one.

Eren sighed, trying not to let his fear seep through. He was determined not to be the first to die but how was he supposed to do that when he couldn't even train properly. 'Hey!' Someone was shouting at him and he was too nervous to take on the slander they would give him if he looked up. The girl, her brown hair plaited, ran up excitedly to him with a mischievous grin on his face. He only begged she was not here to challenge him to anything.

Jean had said nothing about challenging. Then again, that made sense if he hadn't said anything at all. 'I'm Sasha.' She introduced, holding out a hand- the one that wasn't grasping a sword- and shook Eren's jovially. 'You looked like you needed help.' A shameful blush rose to Eren's cheeks as he scanned the room again, watching those who were far stronger than he excel in their chosen station. Even the small dude from District 11 looked like he was somewhat decent with a bow, even if he was fumbling a bit.

Sasha was nice, Eren found after ten minutes of being dragged around, introduced to people and shown what to do at each station. He found it pointless but didn't stray, he needed the help, even if these were the people that he would need to kill later on.

When asked about teaming up, though, Eren had to refuse- even with the puppy-eyes Sasha pulled out. She had Connie, Eren decided. He wouldn't bring her down. He could stick with Mina, they could die together, at least.

He found out later on when Jean talked for the first time- after the higher-ups said he had to at least say something- that he was one of four that hadn't. The fourth being Mina who wasn't there at all.

So who were the other two?

-

'Levi, I know you may think of yourself highly but not teaming up is dangerous. Your agility will only be good for you if you have strength on your side too.' Hanji reasoned over the dinner table as Levi scarfed down his food, soon enough he wouldn't be getting much of it at all. Not that he ever had.

'I have both of them myself, thank you very much.' He didn't want to admit that it wasn't just his inability to make friends that was holding him back. The words 'Lani never teamed up' lost on his tongue.

He tried to do as much as he could to be like her but without any insight into her training, he was at a loss. He knew, from watching it on the big screens back home, that Lani- and her partner Berthold- refused to team up and also refused any sponsorship.

Levi did not know why but he didn't want to dwell, he would only follow in her path. He was still going to win for her, all other motivations be damned. He didn't care about life or death for the sake of himself anymore. His mother wouldn't be able to handle another death nor could District 11. They all knew Lani, she was a decent kid, helped around when she could.

And then she died and all responsibility was diverted to Levi's shoulders. Yet, he had never lived up to those expectations. He was sarcastic, rude and useless except for the rare occasions when he helped someone lift a heavy box or something of the sort.

He had failed everyone's expectation but now, now was his time to make up for that.

'You may do but going at this alone is a death sentence for most. Just because...' Hanji paused, better not bring up the sister. Levi noted down somewhere in the back of his mind that Hanji- being from District 11- also knew Lani.

'It doesn't matter. I've chosen now, haven't I? No going back.' Hanji sighed, looking over to Ilse, who had been staring at her food from the beginning, not daring to pick at the colourful assortments of foodstuffs she had never seen before.

'Ilse, did you find anyone?' Ilse nodded, remaining eerily silent for another few seconds before speaking up.

'Ruth and Hannah.' The girl from District 12, Ruth, Levi recognised the name of but couldn't quite place the face whilst Hannah, apparently from District 10, was someone he had never heard of. He knew the other tribute for District 10, Marco, due to his friendliness alone but it seemed his partner had been skulking in shadows. Or, as some did, only trained when no one was around. Then again, Ilse had met her, hadn't she?

It was none of Levi's business anyway.

'That's great, Ilse!' Hanji began to chatter away again about strategy, far happier than she usually was with the cameras focused on her. There were always cameras watching. Levi knew that, just as he knew he had let another person down.

-

'Erwin, you did well. You are already rated highest on the most likely to win according to the viewers. They like your style and attitude. Just was a victor needs.' Erwin laughed at his mentor, smiling gently.

'I am not a victor yet, Mike, we'll have to wait and see.' They smiled at each other smugly, Erwin proud of his act- just as Mike was. They played to the cameras. As Mike said, it was why Erwin was voted highest at the moment. Just above his partner, Annie, who had not yet come down to eat. She usually snuck down once they left, she wasn't much for small talk. Or any sort of talk at all.

'With the odds in your favour, I doubt anyone will even have the guts to attack you once you are in the game.' Erwin nodded in agreement. He had seen Mike in The Hunger Games when he was young and his brute strength and height had really shifted the odds towards him. He had by far the most sponsors and the tributes didn't dare attack him for a very long time and when they did, they winded up dead quicker than anyone else.

It was really the only reason Erwin believed the tactic would work. Logic defied it but if it created a victor before, he didn't doubt it could again. In fact, it was a reoccurring theme. The games were brutal and didn't do well for anyone who was in the middle ground, you had to have a skill and be good at that skill you had. Well-roundedness rarely worked in anyone's favour.

'My only question is to why you didn't team up?' Mike pondered, resting his head on his palm as he watched Erwin's expression change from relaxed to all too guarded. Erwin was a good liar but that didn't mean it wasn't obvious when his walls went up, it was just hard to get past them.

'You didn't, did you?' Erwin retorted, folding his arms defensively.

'I didn't but that was because no one would accept the offer. You did not even try.' Erwin looked away hesitantly, his eyes examining the pristine white tiles that covered the dining room's floor.

If he was honest with himself, Erwin didn't know why he didn't team up. Something held him back from doing so. He had looked around for potentials but nothing came to mind. Well, a few did but he quickly shut them down upon sight, pushing them away as feelings he didn't want to dwell in.

Since the training room, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about them. He hadn't even been talking to one of them, for goodness sake, and the other had only been jealous of him. So why did he feel so inclined to work with him?

'There were only four people who did not team up, Erwin, one of which hasn't turned up to training once. The other two complete maniacs from what I've been told.' Purposefully harsh words for the public to hear, to spread the news about him. Publicity was life at this point.

'Who?' Mike answered quickly and to the point but Erwin hardly listened when he heard the names. Of course it was those two, those two whom he had wanted to team up with far different reasons than was acceptable. Now was not the time for these feelings but his spinning stomach and reeling head disagreed.

Levi Ackerman and Eren Jaeger might, at this point, be his downfall. And, in no way shape or form, would he accept why.

-

'You're just a USELESS BASTARD!' Eren screamed, watching as Mina winced and Jean leant forward ready to attack. It was publicity, at least, the terrible relationship between tribute and mentor but he wasn't sure whether it was going to help him or not.

'Not as useless as you! At least I won! You're not even trying!' Jean retorted, standing from the table and leaning in so Eren and his face were little more than a few centimetres apart.

'Well, that's because I haven't even been told what to do!' Eren shouted, his voice blocking out the sobs wracking the girl next to him's body.

'That's because I could see that you had already given up! I can't make you fight for something, you have to fight for it yourself.' Jean didn't bother shouting anymore, his voice drained and horse, barely as loud as the hiccups coming from opposite.

Mina, without a word, left the room.

Eren didn't have a reply to that, Jean was right. Eren had nothing to fight for. He had always been a determined kid, head-strong and resilient, something his mother didn't hold back on complaining about. But, throughout it all, he had something to fight for. Something that led him on.

He had only ever fought for others and not himself. He was selfless to the extent that he would give up his life here for someone else to win. Because he had no reason to live. His death would let the best win, the one who deserved it, not the naive kid who did so little training that they could barely run away when they were released into the game.

Conversation halted and they ate their food in silence, picking at the dry chicken that had been given to them after they had complained about the complexity of the foreign food. It was a taste of home, at least, no matter how awful it tasted after trying much better food.

Eren ran up to his chamber quickly, leaving Jean to his own devices, not wanting to raise another argument. It seemed as of late they hadn't stopped arguing at all. Mina had done little more than cry and beg to go home whilst Jean made it his aim to keep Eren in the dark.

But Jean was still right. Eren was failing because he had no fight in him, no reason to fight. He wanted to go home, to see his mother again but it wasn't enough- he wasn't motivated. His sense of self-worth had deteriorated so far that he could barely even think of getting home.

He was a lost cause.

He fell asleep that night only to be awakened by nightmares.

And a smash.

Mina killed herself that night, not willing to even go into the arena to die. Eren was by himself now but it bred something within him, something that he needed. Jean had finally taught Eren something. He needed to fight for something and this would work.

Mina had left a note, a suicide letter. Eren was the first to read it. It didn't say much, consisting of a few messages to friends and family but then at the end, a note addressed to him.

Eren: Win for me, okay?

And from then on, Eren had no more reasons to give up. He would fight for this, with everything he had.

-

The chariot parade came far too soon. Eren, above it all, had to do it alone whilst Levi had to wait in suspense until it was his turn second to last and Erwin, well, he had to open it all.

They stood just metres apart, their mentors by their sides and, for some, their partners. Erwin and Annie, dressed in gold armour which was as dazzling as it was beautiful, were already being put on the chariots, their armour clinking as they moved, their golden swords hitting their waists. Annie made no attempt at smiling, climbing on and raising an eyebrow at Erwin expectantly until he joined her. Next to each other, they were a funny sight. With over a foot between them, you would expect them to be from different districts altogether but with faces as hard as gold and a determination that few could beat, it was clear who they were. As well as having publicity on their side.

And, without warning, their chariot was being pulled forward and they were waving to the thousands in the crowded audience, representing District 1: Luxury.

Following quickly behind, Nanaba and Gelgar jumped onto theirs, ready to ride as soon as Erwin and Annie reached the end, just as they had been told. Painted grey like stone to represent masonry with a hammer as their weapon, they looked embarrassed by their outfits but held their heads high to please the audience as the began to race forwards at a pace they had not expected, ending in line with District 1's chariot.

Auruo and Ymir were like polar opposites again as they climbed on District 3's chariot, Ymir's face smug- taking wanton glances at Historia- whilst Auruo looked like he was trying to imitate Erwin's expression of 'coolness' which was passed off as horribly afraid. With their district being in charge of technology, they had been geared, literally, from head to toe. Cogs and wires were wrapped around their bodies making Ymir, who often looked quite Amazonian, look more robotic than any of them could ever have seen her as before and unfortunately for Auruo, like a complete idiot. For a seventeen-year-old Auruo looked rather old and the funky, 'young' outfit didn't suit him as well as the designers would have liked. Their weapons. wires made of whips that made far too many of the tributes flinch as Ymir lazily whipped the side of the chariot.

Their chariot set off leaving Mikasa and Nile to get on next. Mikasa, the youngest and the strongest of the competition, was merely twelve but still had the strength of a lion with her claw-like nails and infamous intimidating stare- that was all too similar to Levi's. Nile was an arrogant man but was balanced out perfectly with Mikasa as they both stepped up formally onto their chariots, Mikasa clad in a beautiful long dress, with a slit up the side of her leg, her make-up done immaculately all done in blues and greens to represent the water and their district's trade: fishing. Nile, on the other hand, was dressed a Poseidon, in robes nearly as long as Mikasa's and a trident by his side, whilst Mikasa held a gleaming silver spear, wrapped in glittering netting. It made for a beautiful sight and then, once they pushed off, it was clear that they had put the extra effort in as water gushed behind them. They needed the publicity it seemed because no matter how many people Mikasa drew in with her looks, Nile lost with his own.

Petra and Erd were next, once again creating a comical height difference. For a second, Eren wondered whether they had done it on purpose making so many of the boys tower over the girls. Petra practically had to jump to get onto the chariot, taking the help of Erd to get on in the end. They were a great pair, working together harmoniously and being one of the few districts to remain in their pairs when creating a team. District 5 was in charge of power and in turn, had gone with the theme of electricity as they both held a lightning bolt in their hand and wore shimmering white clothes- a floor length dress for Petra and a perfectly tailored suit for Erd. They looked like a god and a goddess and it was evident that had been given the best tailor of the event, sharing the same one as the district before them. So far District 5 was in second on popularity behind District 1.

They set off. District 6, transportation district, had come in third on popularity. It was clear from the beginning that it was Historia's doing. Her golden hair matched perfectly with her white helmet, with large wings on either side: a reflection of another Greek god, Hermes. To match, they wore Grecian robes, with golden accents and an olive branch around each of their wrists. When they moved, they glided and the crowd went wild as Historia beamed: she had even been nicknamed Krista after the president's beautiful late niece.

Sasha and Connie were next representing Lumber. They didn't seem ashamed of their farmer outfits giggling and joking as their chariot set off, pushing each other almost hard enough to knock the other off. They were loved for their humour but it did often irritate some of the more serious contestants whilst relaxing a few of the weaker ones. They were a middle ground that no one could quite figure out, Sasha was brilliant with a bow and had been gifted to carry one whilst on the chariot whilst Connie's stealth was unmatchable, which had put him in the place of having a bandits mask over his face, but when it came to anything else, they were rather weak. Well, extremely weak. Together, Eren hoped that they would make a good team.

Eren didn't want to step up onto the chariot. Where there was usually a barrier between where the girl and the boy should stand, his chariot did not have that. His was empty. Just for him. It reminded him what he had to do. Eren, put in a plain black-tuxedo, looked like he represented mourning. And he did. He was mourning. But they had a trick up their sleeve. His designer had hidden the perfect surprise, sure to gain him not just pity votes for being alone but some real sponsors.

His chariot set off before he was warned and he clung on for dear life, trying to smile for the audience as he saw the approaching line of chariots at the front where the first seven districts waited for him. And then, when he was half-way down the path, fireworks went off. A ball of greens, blues, yellows, and reds exploded in the sky, lighting up the dark night with an enchanting light. Eren had never seen fireworks before, none of the potential victors had.

Eren, for all his fear and doubt, could not deny that this would take him to the top. He was going to win if he could and this was the way to do it.

Reiner and Lynne could not top them afterward, wearing their flower-print outfits, the suit showing off Reiner's bulging muscles and Lynne's too. They both were in top three when it came to strength, Reiner in first and Lynne in third- Erwin in second- and the designer had made sure the outfits showed that. They carted through the last sparks of the fireworks which gripped to their cloth and gave them a needed dazzle. Although, it did make Eren snigger a bit as he watched Reiner distastefully try and brush the sequin looking spark off his shoulder.

Marco and Hannah followed in cow print suits, Hannah not being given the luxury of a dress. They had lost originality at this point and Eren wondered whether they gave worse designers the further down the districts you were. It would make sense, the first four districts were definitely favoured over the final whilst Eren remained in a steady middle-ground that won him no favour nor gave him no losses.

But he hadn't seen Levi yet. Levi, standing next to Ilse, both at the same height- Levi being the second shortest boy in the competition, reaching just above Connie- looked devilishly handsome. Wearing a crown of thorns and a blood coloured suit, red to represent the roses, Levi looked like he belonged in the pits of hell. And he loved it. The two potential victors behind him were trembling in their boots as they stared at him. With dark, smoky makeup to accentuate his steel eyes, he looked like he could murder. Ilse was not different. Her blood red dress trailing so far behind her that it nearly slipped off the chariot and her chest wrapped in a cage of thorns, designed to prick anyone who got close to her but not herself.

Their chariot moved slowest, in the beginning, the mechanics slow to begin until when they reached a quarter way down the aisle, floods of dark red petals flew out behind them, staining the trail a dark red, mixing in with the leftover water to look like blood.

Levi, even if he had no care for sponsors, was glad he had talked to his designer about the outfits. He looked far more menacing than any of the others could have imagined. It was a silent threat as he rode over the red, over the blood of his enemies, and joined the line, his smile smug and his eyes thinned into a glare.

The last chariot, District 12's, containing Armin and Ruth was beautiful but weak. In her flame dress, Ruth was supposed to look strong but her nerves were showing through and her smile couldn't be comprehended as real under any circumstances. Armin, in a suit that was oddly similar to Levi's, looked uncomfortable as their chariot sped down and joined the line in record time. Eren, upon looking over, recognised the looks in their eyes. It was the same one he had. It was even closer to the one Mina had. Armin was clever but he was not strong. His chances of survival were minimal. But Eren hoped that he made it somewhere, he deserved to.

They all did. But there can only be one victor. And, as the loudspeakers switched on, they glanced up to the stage where the President sat, his expression far more smug than any of the tributes had mustered. He was in charge here and through the speakers, his voice boomed.

'May the odds ever be in your favour.'

-

The final talk with the mentors before the game was a conversation of few words. Mike let Erwin ask the questions and answered them briskly, even a little curtly. Hanji, on the other hand, let Levi find his head as he thought threw, even wrote down, his tactics to make sure his mind was in one piece. Jean and Eren did not find time for words. Jean was one of the last to read the letter and despite being proud that Eren had found his determination, he was not too happy that it came at the expense of his partner.

That night, they ate their last meals. A celebration of life, they called it before twenty-three, or due to Mina, twenty-two of them died. Most of them hadn't had a life worth living but they celebrated nonetheless.

No one brought up family. It was about celebrating the tributes, not the people they were losing, or the ones that were losing them. The Capitol did not dwell on the meaning of the games, it was portrayed easily.

This was punishment for the actions they had not provoked nor acted upon but their ancestors' sin was passed to them and they would not rebel again. At least, not for another forty years.

The next day, the tributes were led by their mentors to the training room where the final preparations would take place. From there, they would be sent to the games. They would not see the Capitol again unless they were victorious.

This was the end. You could tell by the frail, trembling bodies and the smug smiles of the men made of bricks. Each and every tribute had a different response but each one had the same underlying anxiety: no matter what, there was a chance they could die. No one could lie to themselves.

The odds were never in your favour.

'Erwin, you ready?' Mike called, Erwin would be the first to be sent up. Each tribute was to be sent up, in turn, male tributes of each district before the females in ascending district order.

Erwin nodded and trailed behind Mike, letting himself take one final glance of the last familiar place he would see. His eyes caught momentarily with two others, one green, and another grey, both staring at him with the same mix of fear, adoration and jealousy. And, above all, determination.

Maybe Erwin would team up but now just wasn't the time.

Exiting the training room, he found himself in the longest corridor he had ever seen. He had left the training room out of the right door rather than the left he usually took back to his accommodation. No one had ever opened the right door.

Mike walked in front of him, leading the way down the winding corridors as suddenly the endlessly long corridor became a maze of twists and turns until they reached their final destination. It was nothing that Erwin had ever seen before. A helicopter sat in front of him, its blades spinning wildly, thrusting the wind wildly around him, whipping his hair in every direction and causing him to squint his eyes to block his eyes from the billowing dust piles.

He was going to be taken to the arena by helicopter. That was new. Some had taken trains and some had even been simulations within the capital but flight, no one from districts was given that pleasure unless for work given solely by the Capitol.

Erwin had only seen a helicopter from his bedroom window, flying above them once a month to check that peace was held. If not for the helicopters, Erwin wondered, would a riot break out?

The helicopter slowed suddenly, its blades gliding to a calm halt before the pilot stepped out and took his helmet off. 'Erwin Smith, the male tribute of District 1, I am here to take you to the arena.' Erwin didn't have any words to reply with and only silently took the helmet that was being offered and followed his pilot. Looking back again gave him grave deja vu but Mike only smiled and mouthed the words Erwin had heard so many times in the last few days: 'may the odds ever be in your favour'. Almost ironic when Mike said them because Mike may have pulled the long straw but the odds were never, ever in his favour.

-

Names were called one by one. Each tribute trembling as they were guided out by their mentors, the mentors making a double trip as they escorted both the male and female candidates of their district.

There was little buzz left in the room by the time Eren was called. All were curious to see his mentor, the one that had let a tribute die and gotten another so angry that he had thrown the spear into the wrong wall. Eren's temper was still something he had yet to control. It would work in his favour, possibly, so no one bothered to solve his fixation on beginning and ending fights with fists- or weapons.

'Eren! Let's leave.' Jean shouted, grabbing Eren's arm and dragging him out quickly, Eren stumbling on his feet as he was pulled along by his mentor. With flushed cheeks and wobbly legs, the doors were slammed behind him. He didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye. He had made friends, even if few. Armin and he had become close lately, maybe out of the knowledge that neither of them would win- or, at least, no one was vouching for them.

Next time he saw anyone in that room, it would be to kill them. Armin and he had talked about pairing up but Armin had said he would only drag Eren down. Eren suspected another plan. Armin worked well on his own, thinking things through. No doubt, Armin would be clever about his tactics.

The corridor was one that had never been shown to Eren before, a maze of concrete- one grey wall no different to the next. Suddenly, he realised, that this was not because their route was long but it was to make sure no one tried to make there way back. Even if it was a single path, it was enough to muddle Eren's mind that by the time he had even attempted to begin to run, they would have caught up.

He realised he only knew this because he was thinking of running.

He was realising a lot of things lately; his mind had become acuter in the face of death. The adrenaline pumped thickly through his blood and his pumped the fire within him. He was determined to win even if death was looming over him like a dark cloud over the already wet ground.

The odds were not in his favour but it didn't matter when he had hope. Even if that hope was a product of delusion.

Levi, on the other hand, was the only one not to be trembling in his boots. He had decided to sit down rather than wait in the long queues by the door. He could train if he wanted, a few were, but he wasn't willing to exhaust his muscles before the games. Once you were in there, there was no resting. Night time was to kill, daytime was to kill.

It was live or die. Not rest.

'Hannah Diamant!' Berthold, their mentor, certainly was polite. He had never stated any less than their full names and when Levi looked at his shaky, sweaty frame, it was curious as to how he ever won, even if it was a while ago now.

Levi looked up and realised just whose name he had stated. He was next. And, just as Berthold and Hannah left the room, Hanji walked in- just in time. 'Ravioli.' She greeted, grinning. He only scowled, he was sick of correcting her sickening nickname. He had more important things on his mind anyway.

'You ready?' Hanji's face suddenly switched into serious mode, something Levi would never get used to. Her emotions were a light switch, on or off, never in the middle. She went from extreme to extreme and although it made for an interesting show, he wasn't sure how much it helped him settle. He needed to be calm. Anxiety could lead to a premature death and even if he wasn't going to win, he sure as well wasn't coming last.

Time passed quickly and soon enough, Berthold had returned and it was Hanji's turn to escort the tributes to where they had to be taken. Levi was not surprised when all he saw was blank grey walls and a stone floor that echoed as his shoes hit the grimy floor. He almost wished he could mop it clean. You would think they would if you had seen the standards of the accommodation they were given- a luxury as recompense for a death before fate had wished.

Hanji placed a reassuring hand on Levi's shoulder as they stopped, a steel door in front of them, a small device that a pin could be entered into next to it. Hanji moved away to cover it before pushing the correct buttons and causing a large click as the door unlocked. Turning to Levi, she sighed, placing both of her hands on his shoulders, that serious look back in her eye. She was sad, he realised. They had become closer than he had thought, it seemed. The fact didn't daunt him as much as it usually did for a reason Levi could not comprehend. Facing death should make you wish not to leave your friends but Levi was far prouder of making a friend in the first place. A depressing thought.

'Do me proud. Do yourself proud, okay?' She reassured, leaning down to his level and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

'I will.' He reassured before he was pushed out, alone, onto a rooftop where a helicopter was waiting for him. The Hunger Games had begun.

-

The roar was deafening; twenty-three helicopters all hung just above where it was safe to drop their passengers. As soon as the first man touched land, the stopwatch would begin and the slaughter would begin. Each tribute peered fearfully from their door, hanging in a position in which one push could send them hurtling towards their death.

They hung in a circle, slowly descending as the numbers appeared on the ground, on a sheened metal surface where weapons were huddled in the middle. They would be dropped just outside of it, giving tributes the option to fetch or run.

Those ones who were brave were rewarded with death or a prolonged life whilst those who ran away gained nothing. A hard bargain but made easily by those who feared death and even easier by those who embraced it.

The countdown ended with a bang. The frenzy began. The helicopters swooped down and pushed people from their places in the doorway of their respective vehicle and left them to run or hide.

The boom of a kill was immediate: Marco Bodt. Halved by an axe. Eren hid. Levi and Erwin ran. The plethora of weapons glimmered in the artificial sun as they both scavenged for their preferred weapons, Levi picked up more than one whilst Erwin stopped once he found a heavyweight sword.

Levi swooped down the pick the last of his weapons: the bow. What had once been his worst had soon become his best with dedication and practice and he cringed at the thought of not being able to reach it. He would be at a disadvantage, for sure.

And then blood. It wasn't his blood but it coated him like a jacket would its owner. The blood seeped through his gear- a sleek black outfit that would do well to camouflage him at night but distinguish him during the day.

Levi turned, sickened by the sight, above him was Erwin Smith- district 1, smiling. Beneath him was Nile Dok, the man that was about to ram an axe into Levi's head. The cannon boomed.

Levi and Erwin stared for what must have been less than a second before their decision was made. They were getting out of here and for now, they were doing it together.

Eren, on the other hand, had already clambered up the furthest tree he could find without his legs passing out and was gently sipping from his flask he had been allowed to bring in the light backpack they had all been allowed. A flask of water, finished in one large gulp, a small knife and a good luck card from their family.

Of all the people asked, Eren had not met any more than one person who had opened theirs yet. They had been given the chance in the training room. But, then again, maybe people wanted some privacy. Although, crying in the arena would only put you at a disadvantage.

A cannon boomed and Eren jumped, as he did every time. He looked to the ceiling, one that could not be told apart from the sky, and watched Nile's face come up, his smug, smug face. The second death and the smuggest opponent.

The odds were never in your favour.

Eren had nothing from the middle and was weaponless apart from a sharpened stick, whittled down by his flimsy blade. He could probably stab someone with his knife, he thought but realised that the blade was far too short to do any real damage. They had designed it that way especially. Another cruel taunt at the cowards.

Eren watched as people ran past him, their legs crumbling beneath them as they slipped through the forest and to what lay beyond. From what Eren had seen so far, it was little more than the forests of District 7 that he had seen on TV.

Another canon, Ruth- District 12. The most likely to die. That meant Armin was still alive, though, despite being voted second most likely to die. He would make it, Eren believed. He was clever, more clever than Eren could ever be. He had read books that he was never supposed to read whilst Eren had done little more than go to school and play a bit of football with his friends. His very few friends, always changing, always leaving.

It only deepened the feelings of loneliness.

Eren didn't realise before it was too late that he had fallen asleep...and far too close to the centre, where all the blood-thirsty tributes were planning murder.

-

'Erwin! Hurry the fuck up!' Levi shouted as loud as he could as to not draw attention to their location.

'I'm trying here but I'm not a midget who has oddly strong legs.' Erwin panted, winding his way through the dense woodlands. At each turn, he tripped and barely pulled himself off the muddy ground. Levi was made for these conditions, small and agile and able to wind through every branch and root. Erwin, however, was nothing but large, crashing into each and every tree whilst his size 12 feet tripped over protruding roots.

Levi was beginning to lose his patience.

Stopping abruptly, Levi turned and watched as Erwin finally let himself rest against a tree and catch his breath. 'I know you're from District 1 and hard labour isn't exactly common but come on! What was this training for if you can't even run? We've barely got anywhere!' Levi complained, his muscles far from tired. He had done hundreds time this in one day's work alone.

'Just let me catch my breath and I'll be fine.' Erwin reassured, scanning the trees for sight of any other tributes. They didn't realise that Eren was now awake- and above them.

'I'm only keeping you 'round because you know how to plan.' Levi mumbled, crossing his arms in a childlike tantrum. Erwin laughed under his breath and took deep, calm breaths- in and out- until his muscles felt less like fire and more like ash. It was an improvement, at least.

Then, the branch Eren sat on cracked and he came tumbling down to the ground, two swords to his neck. 'Don't kill me, please!' Useless words spoken with wide, frightened eyes. Beautiful eyes.

'Eren, right?' Erwin asked and suddenly one sword was retracted from his neck and a hand held out to help. Levi watched Erwin incredulously. He was letting the kid live? This dumb, stupid brat?

'Eren Jaeger, District 8.'

'I know.' Erwin smiled and oh god, Levi finally realised what that was. That smile. Erwin was flirting. They were in the middle of a war zone and ERWIN WAS FLIRTING!

'We are not...'

'We are.' Erwin interrupted, knowing exactly what Levi was about to say before the words could even tumble from his mouth. 'How about it, Eren? You willing to have a team.' Eren hadn't tried to put in a word, not yet having taken the hand or having his throat released from the final sword.

'If Levi lets me.' Eren whispered, his voice already thick with dehydration and an unrelenting fear dazzling in his eyes.

'Tch.' Levi retracted his sword and took a step back. 'But we're running, and now, I hear footsteps.' The group nodded and quickly gathered themselves. Eren was glad his bag had not been open and all he had to do was throw it over his shoulder. His eyes were still thick with sleep but he easily winded through the growth between his two new partners, his eyes focusing as he ran, his ears picking up noises he didn't believe he would have been able to detect before.

Levi stopped as abruptly as he had before, sending Erwin and Eren crashing together as they tried to stop. They both laughed it off and reorganised themselves as Levi shot them a playful glare and walked to the rock on their right, towering metres above them, covering in vines and moss.

-

'Those three are a little too close, aren't they?' A person spoke from in front of the TV in the Capitol, watching the drama unfold with rapt attention- not realising that it was not all for entertainment. Not realising that these people were actually dying.

-

The rock was what actually became a hideout. Behind a thick layer of vines, they found a tunnel. 'The trees are unsafe, as Eren has already seen, they won't hold us up. Maybe me but that's against the point. This place has to exit points and is out of sight. It will be best to stay here before nightfall.' Levi explained, his eyes narrowing slightly as he concentrated on his explanation.

Following Levi inside, Erwin muttered to himself, 'and you say I'm the strategist.' It was only seconds later than the 'I heard that' was returned with equal passion. Eren laughed quietly in the darkness, barely able to distinguish the six-foot man from the five-foot man.

'Are we really safe here?' Eren whispered, looking around the narrow corridor.

'We're not safe anywhere but this will be better than many have.' Another cannon boomed, as if on time. They looked up but did not dare go outside to see who was gone. Eren nodded and scavenged again for his water, taking the last drops into his mouth.

Levi laughed almost silently, no sound but his shoulders still shook. 'At least someone kept their water supply until nightfall.' He pointedly turned to Erwin and despite their eyes being invisible in the shrouded cave, they all knew exactly what it meant.

Erwin raised his arm in surrender. 'I thought I would find a water source!' He defended.

'This is The Hunger Games. They're not going to give you water unless you have...sponsors.' Levi realised the mistake as soon as he said it. Erwin did have sponsors, even Eren did- Levi did not. Except, as Hanji explained, a few women that thought his looks were to die for. He was too grumpy for their tastes apparently, too sarcastic, too crude.

Erwin smiled in the darkness pitifully but was glad that Levi could not see it. Levi certainly would be the kind of man that did not want pity. 'Um...' Eren's gentle voice broke the silence; he was still nervous around the two of them, especially with what he was about to ask. 'Do you two have any weapons that you can spare? I didn't dare go to the middle...' Eren trailed off, finding excuses trivial and the ones that he had made feeble.

Erwin shook his head whilst Levi started to take things from his pack, surprised they hadn't pierced the thin material. Laid out, just visible in the glimmers of light peeping through the vines, was a knife- just long enough to stop someone- and a sword. 'Thank you.' Eren whispered, taking both and smiling at Levi.

'It's no problem. We're a team now, right?' Levi wished he had asked how this worked. He was most definitely sure that they weren't supposed to be this generous to each other, they would have to kill each other at some point but for now, he would give in. Just imagining those wide, innocent eyes sent Levi tumbling into the deep end.

He ignored the butterflies in his stomach.

He would have to kill both of these men, both of these men that sent his head reeling and his stomach rolling. In a way that he could only describe as inexplicably good. Levi sighed again in the thick cloud of silence and laid his head against the wall, hoping to be alive in the morning and not another casualty as Erwin's hands.

Or Eren's. He still was not quite trusting of them, was he? Anything could happen. He would just have to trust them.

-

Cannons boomed, one after the other. Death, another death, a final death. Erwin had killed five people, each one more ruthless than the last. They had found an order in their group, Levi as a scout, Eren as a distraction and Erwin as the killer. They wound their way through the forest with unbeatable precision and tactics, one they had created whilst hiding up in the tallest of the trees, looking down upon the scampering tributes.

Together they were unstoppable.

But, it wasn't always easy. Thomas had been an easy kill; the boy had been sitting next to a bees nest and it only took some aggravation for him to be chased away directly to where Erwin was standing. Lynne and Hannah had been simple too, the pair to focused on helping each other to notice the three boys sneak up from behind them.

Reiner was far more difficult, he had a strength that matched Erwin and Levi's and a determination that matched Eren's. But, it couldn't save him from all three of them. Surrounded, he had tried to fend them off but he had come out the loser and another canon went off. Erwin hid his remorse and Eren hid his urge to puke. Levi pretended that he didn't enjoy the beating of his heart when they made their next kill.

They were all fucked up in their own way.

Annie had been the latest kill. Cunning and agile, she was hard to find. They had spotted her three times in the trees but not once had she approached them, despite making eye-contact on multiple occasions.

They had starved her. Her food supply was abundant but took mastery to get to and when that was cut off, the rest was simple. Erwin, sent from his sponsor, had been a landmine. He wondered who would be so cruel as to send him one but he took the advantage with a heavy heart and planted it where he knew Annie would run across. She had been blown to smithereens.

None of the three had a partner from their own district left anymore. They tried not to think about the people crying back home or the ones cheering them on. They tried not to think about the outside world at all. It was a dangerous game to play. You don't know until you do whether it will put you at a disadvantage or not. Will the pain of thinking of home slow you down or will it push you on to win?

None of them had dared taken the risk.

Night fell quickly and they were left on the ground for the first time in days, their boots caked with mud and their weapons encrusted with blood. Eren remained clean throughout it all, like he was being protected by the rest. Levi, despite not being the one to kill any of them, had certainly injured a few but Eren, Eren had done little to nothing in the way of others.

The guilt was already blinding him.

'We're going to need to find shelter and quick.' Erwin's eyebrows drew together as he scanned the playing field and searched for any nook and cranny, or even tree, that they could hide within.

'We could head back to the cave?' Eren suggested but was met quickly with two mumbles of: 'too far'.

'I think fighting throughout tonight is our best option. We still have some of Annie's food leftover, that can keep us through the night. We'll sleep from sunrise to midday up where no one can see.' Erwin suggested, gaining a chorus of nods.

They drew their swords and prepared for the worst as they stalked through the woods, making small, trivial talk as the stumbled over the forest floor. They had still yet to find any other biome and had kept to the forest for their advantage from above.

The distant noise did not surprise them, the rustling of leaves and a pair talking far too loudly for their own good. 'Sasha and Connie.' Eren recognised, so far he had been able to identify everyone. It was useful in some respects and made Eren feel a little less useless.

When the footsteps did not fade, they knew what they had to do. Even in the darkness of the night, bloodshed was a given and the cannons would make a good reminder for those who were sleeping that they were never safe.

Erwin believed fear was the best way they would win. No one had yet found a reason to disagree.

The talking became louder and more distinct, their chatter audible to the three men now scattered amongst the trees. Levi had his bow raised, blocking their path. It was not a shot that was meant to kill but for all they knew, it could. Erwin had his axe raised and Eren copied him with his knife; he knew looking weak would only mean the enemy tried to kill him first.

'Connie! Just because everyone's asleep does not mean that we're safe clambering around in the dark!' Sasha complained loudly, the three boys looking guiltily between each other at the irony.

'We're fine! Who's going to be out here anyway?' They were close enough. The arrow shot into Connie's head. He was dead. The cannon rang loudly.

All within the space of three seconds.

On the fourth, Sasha collapsed. On the fifth, she had been killed two, Levi's sword lodged through her chest. On the sixth, Eren collapsed.

They had killed the people that had offered him their help. They had killed the people that despite the knowledge that they were not the best, were not deterred. Dead.

Suicidal was not a word Eren had ever related with himself. But, he was finding Jean's words 'Suicidal Bastard' to be ringing truer than ever before.

Guilt ripped through him as he continued on, leaving the bodies to rot. Eren felt ready to puke in the bush but held down the little food he had put in his stomach and moved onwards. Neither Levi nor Erwin commented on his state. They had seen it enough times by now to know that it was best left alone.

Pictures of the dead flashed in Eren's vision like a hazy ghost, haunting him. Each tree's shadow was another human, morphing into cruel, accusatory shapes. Everything was pointing towards him. All because he had been apart in someone's death.

Why was this all collapsing on him now? Usually, it all went away in a blur, the guilt held back by a will to live on himself. Now, he felt nothing more than want to rid himself of this horrible place. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to see another person die.

He didn't want more seconds to pass and a cannon to go off. It all happened too quickly. They were little over a week in and half of them were dead. Eren hadn't had the guts to count but the cannons were going off sporadically but often.

The cannons were guns, shattering him to pieces each bullet at a time. His heart was too fragile. He was barely surviving. He would be dead if it weren't for Erwin and Levi. They were strong. They were brave. Eren was not. Eren was nothing.

Eren, no matter his strength, never believed in himself. Whatever happened, he was to blame. His own mind ridiculed itself for its cruel actions. Eren didn't want to empathise, didn't want to realise that he was not alone in this. He didn't want to know that Erwin had his own taunting thoughts, even Levi did. Strength came in different ways but Eren couldn't see anything past the physical.

He hadn't killed anyone himself, useless. He had helped kill someone, he deserved to die. His paths split in two and both led him down a route that led to only one thing. One thing that the other two prayed not to happen.

They had all grown too attached. They had become a unit. They were one. Little over a week and they had fallen for each other. None of them spoke a word of it, pretending it wasn't there when they huddled together when the darkness veiled them. They were tearing their own hearts apart. They would have to kill each other, there was no way around it. Soon enough, it would be the three of them. Or, at least, it was seeming that way. They were the strongest, the smartest and the quickest. They were unbeatable.

But weakest for each other.

Eren stopped before either of them could notice and were out of sight, running to a familiar spot in the trees, where the branches winded thicker and stronger than elsewhere. Levi had already begun to climb up the tree when they finally paused, looking back for the third in their party of three.

Only Erwin remained.

'Erwin.' Levi urged, jumping off the tree. Erwin was oblivious, turning to where Levi was staring only to find air and not the boy he expected. 'When was the last time you saw him?' Levi panicked, his heart beating loudly in his chest, each palpitation wracking through his body.

'With the pair you just killed.' An acknowledgment of Levi's skill and a plea for help. Eren could be anywhere.

'Shit.' Levi sprinted, not looking back to see if Erwin was following him. In his panic, his eyes sharpened not blurred. He had a task and he was going to complete it. No matter what. Eren was not going to die, not yet. Eren couldn't die. Eren wasn't allowed to die. No one was going to die that was on his side.

Levi wouldn't lose another person in his life. Not now. Not ever.

Eren was not Lani.

Levi wanted to shout Eren's name but couldn't draw attention to himself so instead ran as quick as his legs would take him and darted in and around the foliage for any familiar shadows.

'Armin, I'm not going to do it.' A shaky cry, distant. Footsteps behind him, heavy- Erwin. Levi set off quickly, following the wobbling voice.

'Armin, don't do this.'

'Eren, you have to.' Levi was closing in.

'I can't.' Eren was crying. Levi entered the clearing.

Eren was standing above Eren, his knife pointed at Armin's heart. 'Eren, I'm not a victor. I was never going to win it. Just let me go with dignity.' Armin begged, a gentle smile on his face but fearful tears slipping down his cheeks.

Eren shook his head indignantly. 'I'm not going to kill you. I can't. Stay with me, we can work together. We can find Levi and Erwin and you can join us. You're smart, you could help us.' Eren begged, his hand trembling as the blade tore at the threads protruding from Armin's suit.

'That's not going to happen, Eren.' Erwin joined Levi, watching from the edge of the trees.

'But it can! Please, Armin, don't make me do this!' Eren's sobs shook his entire body, sending the knife into Armin's body, creating a fine line on the pale skin, not yet penetrating.

'Eren, do it.' Armin, even on the ground, held himself with such dignity. He would die an honourable death. A meaningless one...but honourable. Wrapping Eren's hand with his own, Armin sent the knife further down, finally digging into the skin.

'Do it.' He choked, watching the blood trickle from his own chest. Brave. Brave, brave Armin Arlert. He doesn't deserve to die, Levi thought. But he had to.

Eren drove his fist down, ending Armin's life mercifully. He collapsed upon the gaunt corpse, one that hadn't eaten in a day or two, and cried more than he ever had before. Eren had finally killed. And he had killed his closest friend.

Erwin and Levi approached him carefully and calmly, bringing him off of Armin's chest and to their own. Eren's head resting upon Erwin's chest and his arms around Levi's waist. Enveloped in their warmth, he cried until it was too unsafe to cry and the sun made its way over the horizon.

'We have to go, Eren. Come on.' Erwin coaxed. Eren shook his head. Levi, his stubborn attitude shining through, didn't listen and hoisted Eren to his feet and began to drag him along, not caring as Eren stumbled mindlessly behind him, barely aware of his own feet.

Levi found his destination quickly, a cave covered in vines. Unfortunately, only one exit but a wide enough exit that they could escape if anyone were to come in. It was hidden well, next to a small creek where they could filter water. They would remain safe here.

Taking Eren in his arms, Levi pushed through the barrier of sticks and leaves and into the darkened space, their fire still there from before. No one had found this yet, that was good news.

They made camp languidly. There was no rush anymore. They cared for Eren as best as they could, wrapping him in their only blanket and resting him against as soft a place as they could find and wrapping their arms around him as soon as they knew it was safe to do so.

He didn't deserve so much pity yet they gave it to him because he needed it. Maybe not pity, per se, but comfort. Comfort was his lifeline right now. Without it, he would leave in the middle of the night and drown himself in the water.

He didn't.

He stayed with them, even if his sleep was plagued with nightmares- the little sleep he had, anyway.

Cannons continued to go off, the first kills being made by Erwin making apparent who was going to be left. Sponsors began to stop sending anything once they had remained in hiding for days but it was unneeded. They had all they needed from previous packages. They had a water source outside, a source of warmth inside and a food supply that could be added upon but would last them long enough.

They were safe.

They were safe with each other.

Darkness fell another three times before the news was sent. The final cannon went off. They were the final three. It was time for two of them to die. Silence fell upon them quickly, their endless chatter ending as abruptly as it often started.

'I can't kill either of you.' The statement came as a shock when it poured out of Erwin's mouth after minutes of thick tension.

'I don't think I can either.' Eren's voice was timid, his voice barely back from days of disuse. Shock had warped his body into silence, his body rigid and his mouth sealed tight. But this was important, he had to have them know. He wasn't going to kill either of them. He couldn't.

They looked to Levi, slowly and deliberately. They had declared him the victor, opened themselves up for death. But, Levi had other ideas. Better ideas.

'Well, let's see what the Capitol try and throw at us now.' The 'I love you' went unsaid but they didn't need it to be.

They all knew it was true anyway.

 


	9. Short #2: Shortie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick thing, there are major spoilers for all manga chapters up to now (97) and if you haven't read the manga, here are SOME HUGE REVELATIONS.

They had chosen Erwin.

Between Armin and Erwin, Erwin had been the one to live. Armin, barely a remain, crumbling into blackened dust, was dead. Forever. No breaths passed through his lips anymore, nothing as Eren stared down at him, wishing that maybe he had not let Levi save Erwin.

Not let Levi save his lover.

The lover that was not Eren's.

Yet Levi was.

The complication relationship had been running steadily for years. Levi and Erwin had been together nearly a decade when they met Eren. And from there, they had doted on him.

But, Erwin's heart was restrictive. As Eren had heard, Erwin fell with everything. His devotion was always aimed at a single thing, whether it be in love or in strategy. He did not have room for another in his heart.

But, Levi did.

And so, as Erwin suggested, Levi did. Levi split his heart in two and divided it between the two. Eren loved him wholeheartedly back and so did Erwin- even if Eren did express a little disappointment by the lack of another partner at his side.

If it were up to him, he would have Erwin and Levi by his side. It had not worked out that way. Yet, he had still lost his best-friend because of it.

The war had been crippling. 300 soldiers dwindled down to just more than ten and the ones that were left were traumatised by the bloodshed they had encountered.

Erwin had led the suicide mission and had been the only one to survive. Levi had battled dozens of titans, one being one of the most powerful titan shifters that they had heard of, and lived to see the other side. No one knew how and he had refused to speak the information.

No, he hadn't.

He had refused to speak at all.

His eyes spoke volumes, shedding tears, holding dark, heavy bags beneath them and so bloodshot that Eren had feared that he had resorted to extreme self-medication.

Saying that, hadn't they all?

Mikasa and Eren were crippled by their best friends death.

Levi was mute- something that meant that he had to become co-captain for his struggle to give orders.

Erwin had drowned himself in alcohol.

Hanji had not yet left the research lab, despite her new promotion to second Captain.

Historia had hidden herself away in the palace.

Jean had not been seen for days.

Connie and Sasha left the military.

The Survey Corps were nothing. The military was nothing. They had found out the secrets of the Titans and there was no one to solve it. Wall Maria had been reclaimed, as had the territory outside of the walls and people were beginning to repopulate. The underground was destroyed, by Levi's request, and all citizens moved to the outer walls. Or, if they wished, outside the walls.

Not many had opted for the final option, the fear of leaving the pen as present as ever. But, as always, a few were persuaded. The explorers, the adventurers, the curious.

Like those nine broken people. Like those nine people who made it to the ocean. Those nine people that lived their friend's dream and scattered his ashes amongst the place he wished to visit the most.

The ocean was Armin's dream and in death, he made it.

Eren's cries were drowned out by the ocean's tide and his tears hidden in the salty water but they all felt the same. They all felt the hollow loss of their friend.

Erwin had still not forgiven himself.

Levi had, though, and for now, it was keeping him alive. Enough for Erwin to dip his toes in the water, despite Levi desperately trying to drag him- and Eren- out of the water.

It was still dangerous, he claimed.

And dirty: so, so dirty.

When they had left, it was heavy, full hearts. They finally had the answers and they had seen it for themselves, no matter how much it scared them. And, apparently, that meant a lot of people were willing to sacrifice a few years for it.

Eren, in a year's time, would be sent to Marley under his father's friend's name- Eren Kruger- where he would finally have an insight to what life had been like outside of the walls all this time. He had a task to find out about weaponry, technology and strategy- anything that could help them in their fight against the Marlyans.

Eren and Erwin, being titans already, had no need to shed any more years of their life. Erwin had twelve years left. Eren was still in the dark but he assumed around four.

With the timer ticking down- ignoring the looming presence of death- Levi had made his decision rather quickly. Voicing it in his new language, sign language, which he had opted to.

Still, no one knew why it was that he did not use words but they were all happy to learn and to converse with him and the new, and rather simple, way. Apparently, with the exception of Erwin, they were all a lot better at expressing themselves through actions and not words. Erwin was nonetheless good at both but still had a good way of words which made for the quirky conversation method of Erwin talking whilst Levi signed back.

Eren liked to sign, his words coming out as clunky as ever, and he liked to think of it as him maturing. He was finally reaching an age where the age gap was not as taboo and he was making the most of it. All of them were.

Especially with the danger rapidly approaching.

They would all have to fight soon, against the ones that hated them. It was coming soon. Very soon. The fight that could end all fights. The war they were already calling the Great War: The War For Peace.

But first, they had a job to do.

-

'Levi, you will not-' Eren stood behind Erwin, practically trembling, as Levi and Erwin went head to head.

'I will, Erwin. You two can handle it and so can I. I'm not weak, Erwin! This is for everything you've been working towards!'

'Levi, don't do this. Our lives are already being cut so short, I don't want yours to end so soon as well.' Erwin reasoned, Eren stepping out from behind his back hoping for the situation to diffuse. But, as expected, Levi wasn't going down without the last word. No matter how much he trusted Erwin, when it came to his own life, he was willing to sacrifice it and he knew that Erwin would do anything to stop him- it was the only point in Erwin lost all rationality. Levi was his weakness. And, in some ways, so was Eren.

'It doesn't matter because you'll both be dead anyway!' Silence fell, the tension palpable in the foggy air, the billowing smoke from the kitchen seeping through the open window of Eren's room. Eren was very much regretting allowing this to be their meeting place. Why not Erwin's office? At least then, it would be Erwin's stuff that was smashed and not his. Because at this rate, Levi looked very much ready to break something- his usually passive nature turning quickly violent, his hand gestures becoming more and more wild, despite their always perfect composure.

'You really think that us dying will mean you can die too? We're soldiers Levi, you have to carry on. I've died once and you didn't, you are perfectly capable of living on.' Erwin's anger was pushing him into irrationality. It was always this way. Their fights were far and few between but when one arose, it was always one of magnitude. They were not petty by any means.

'I did and I don't ever want to do it again! Just let me do it, Erwin. We'll take the consequences for the gain it will give us. They have named me as one of their largest threats, imagine what I could do if I was a titan as well. I know so much more than I once did, Erwin! I won't hate myself for becoming this just as I don't hate either of you,' that was the first recognition Eren got in the whole situation, 'and I want to do this, for myself. For Humanity. It may be a bit of a shitty experience to start with but it's nothing worse than what I've already experienced.' His hand gestures were becoming desperate, the precise hand gestures becoming sloppy at their ends as he moved his hand so quickly that they almost couldn't understand him.

'Are you sure, Levi?'

'I am.' Eren let out a relieved sigh and wrapped his arms around Levi, thankful for the peaceful ending- despite the rising tension between the other pair. They would solve it themselves, he knew. But first, first would be the transformation.

Hanji, despite being rather reclusive, had conducted a few experiments on their knew colossal titan. At forty-five metres, only a little shorter than Berthold, Erwin was huge in titan form but with permission from the Capital after Erwin pulled a few tricks out of his sleeve, they were allowed to train with him so long as it remained in the territory between Wall Maria and the newly named, Wall Arvish- a name correlated with the love of freedom. For his mission, despite the losses, Erwin had been allowed to choose the name.

It seemed, even though he brought fear amongst his noble peers, he had become respected for his solution to nearly all the problems humanity was facing and was awarded a single medal for his efforts- the Queen, Historia, was still pushing through on giving him a few more.

Next, Eren had finally been trained and developed to his full capacity in Titan form and was now able to do tasks with relative ease and communicate too when necessary, the now prominent use of sign language making everything far easier.

Levi, on the other hand, would be a new Titan. Erwin, with his current height and strength, had the capacity to break Annie's shell and capture her. Giving Levi the opportunity to take in her spinal fluid. She would unable to escape, she would be eaten before she could even think to transform.

And the final piece of the puzzle, the serum. They had one batch left when it had been sent to the labs for replication and soon, it was being produced on a large enough scale that they had spares if any stores where to be ransacked or destroyed.

And, Levi was the still the only candidate to be injected with it: no other soldiers had put themselves forward. He was the strongest and the most capable to survive. The chances of death were so slim, they believed, that it would almost be insane to not make him a shifter.

Erwin, of course, had gone against the idea at first- whilst Eren had decided for himself that the positives far outweighed the negatives, no matter his personal feelings- but after a gentle coaxing from all sides, he finally gave in. Their latest argument was his last stand.

And, a week later, everything had been approved.

The transformation was to take place somewhere in the middle of Wall Arvish's territory, where inhabitants were still next to none, and the rest of the Survey Corps would help to bring Annie's body out to the open, aided by Eren who could fight her if it came to that. His fighting style had improved and changed and he hoped if she was to free herself at the perfect time that their fight would be more equal than before. Levi had been a useful mentor.

The mission itself took ten days, simply because the journey out to their destination was so long- even from Shiganshina, the newly rebuilt city where they had built their new, fairly small, base.

When they arrived, they were all sweating. Eren slightly buzzed at the energy surrounding him whilst Erwin looked timid at the sight of Annie no more than metres from them. Levi, on the other hand, looked perfectly determined but it didn't stop his slightly trembling legs and his fearful eyes. Levi wasn't free from fear, just like the rest of them, but he was much better at controlling them and neither of his lovers were too worried about what would happen now but it was no more consoling that Levi was there trembling at his next mission.

Levi was becoming the thing he had always hated- even if, now, he realised that there was barely a foundation to hate them on. They were blind and now he could see but his instincts still hadn't quite adjusted.

He was confused.

They prepped Levi as best as the could, going through what would happen. There were still no recorder males that they could find that had occupied the female titan but they didn't doubt that it would affect anything but the appearance of his titan form. In fact, both of lovers were rather looking forward to seeing that aspect. An uncomfortable Levi made them feel all the more human.

The serum was prepared and Annie was placed in position. The signal was placed and Erwin and Eren both gave their best good-luck hugs and retreated, ready to turn into their titan forms as soon as Levi did, hoping it would bring some comfort to not be alone, looking at so many being from far away.

Erwin stayed the furthest away, his looming height pressing but Eren tried to remain as close as possible, his enlarged teeth gleaming in the sun. And, as their transformation finished, Levi's begun.

As agreed, it was Hanji who injected him before distancing herself quickly- Levi would be out of control at first- and Levi began his change.

It took less than a second. And in two, the deafening roars were being expelled from the largest titans mouth- Erwin's. Panicked eyes all shot to him until they realised just what it was that he was looking at.

Levi, who was now crushing through Annie's shell- without any help from Erwin. Levi. Oh, Levi, Levi, Levi. He really was unfortunate, wasn't he?

Erwin stood at forty-five metres. Eren stood at fifteen metres tall. Levi stood, in his pure Titan form, at four.

Soon, the screams were unending. Eren's titan made, even more, ruckus, the screeching uncomfortably high pitched why Erwin continued in his low rumble.

No one had ever heard a titan laugh before. Now they had.

Levi had finally broken through and smashed through the shell. The final transformation taking place. Both of the other titans stared in awe as he grew.

And then stopped.

Five metres.

Levi was a five-metre titan. Levi was still incredibly short- even as a giant. How unfortunate. And now, unfortunately, all too sentient. He charged. At Erwin.

He was too small to even grab his foot.

Then, with a puff of rage, latched onto Eren, gnawing at it as Eren tried to hold his laughter in, his enormous teeth clenching together uncomfortably.

Levi finally pushed himself off and through the large, humane eyes he glared. And, with the only energy he probably had, signed- 'Fuck you.' Then, as every transformation went, he passed out, his human form being revealed again.

Erwin and Eren were quick to turn back and rush to aid him, both of them looking down at fear before turning to each other. Their gaze met, worry flashing between them, but as they turned away, Eren smiled. Then his shoulders shook. He glanced back at Erwin, who couldn't keep the smile off his face either.

As their eyes met again, they couldn't hold it in. They cracked up. The human laugh so much more melodic than in their Titan forms. They keeled over, Levi's unconscious body next to them. Despite all of this, they couldn't bring themselves to worry anymore.

Levi had been more sentient that any of them had been. He would live, they knew it. And, they were right. They were still laughing when Levi opened his eyes, still too weak to move. The glare was almost painful.

They both stopped laughing.

Erwin and Eren's eyes locked again.

They couldn't help it.

They had to.

Needless to say, the next week they both got beaten so bad that they were sent to the medical-wing.

But, it was still a little glimpse of happiness before the inevitable ending. They knew that life would never return to what it was. Yet, the found themselves not minding that at all.

They had each other.

They had their fights.

They had their love.

And, most of all, they had something that made them laugh all the way through it.


End file.
